#trolley problem

There's a runaway trolley careening down the tracks. There are five guys tied to the tracks, three of whom you were peripherally acquainted with in college and they were just absolutely dogshit human beings, super awful to be around, bad to their friends, bad to their partners, they take and take and take and never give and never learn, you've been following the trainwrecks on facebook and they have not improved or matured at all. The fourth guy you used to work with and he's, like, fine on a moral level, you guess, but his personal aesthetic never advanced past that mid-2010s Narwhal-bacon MBmBaM-styled twee insufferability and while you don't wish death on him per se you're glad you're no longer coworkers 'and if you save him you're 90 percent sure you're gonna get an earful over accepting the terms of the trolley problem at face value without trying to find some non-existent kobiyashi maru third option. Fifth guy won the nobel prize for his oncology research and will certainly continue to do great work in the field but is also deeply suicidal to an extent that he would prefer to be run over by the trolley, the other four guys are screaming and crying but he's hooting and hollering. Tied to the other rail is your brother-in-law, who's great with your sister's kids but bad with finance and owes you about two grand from the last time you had to dig him out of a hole for your sister's sake, which you realistically won't get back regardless but definitely won't get back if you allow him to be crushed by a runaway trolley. Make your call