#triggerwarming

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Just hit me now across the face

Hurt me please, and I'll be okay

I just need to feel some pain

That don't comes by hand of the

destruction of my own brain

I feel so damn low and it's not

Getting any better, just let me feel

Something real, something

That's not feeling empty and numb

Just paint me black and blue

Kiss me with bruises, made new scars

And hold me close, just for tonight

Cause I am really not okay

I can't escape myself

And this drowning feeling

I beg you on my knees

Just hit me across my face

Just abuse me a little

And leave me with your fingerprints

How you're amazing

In the role of mother

You was eleven years old

They told you

That your mother is lucky

To have daughter like you

Who take care of home

And your baby brother

You was thirteen years old

They told you

How you're capable

Of looking after their babies

As adult

You was between 11-13 years

They told you

Your mother wouldn't take it

Without you

Taking care about her

They told you

You're so mature for your age

They told you

Bunch of another shits

You was adult in child's body

Drowning choking aching

At fifteen you broke down

You stop being able to take care of things

You stop being able to be functional

Insomniac sleepless kid

Tired starving self-harming

Suicidal depressed teen

Skipping school skipping meals

Skipping life skipping events skipping friends

And they stop telling you things

Then they stop talking with you at all

Failure after failure

Arguments fights anger

Misunderstanding

Sadness of your mother

Friends leaving silently like ghosts

Another break down

At age of seventeen

Interrupted study

Sleeping for half a year

Another suicides attemps

Another scream and fighting

Then big return to school

Just for ending studies

Leaving your school for good

Before the end of the year

Lost future of lost child

They used to told you

How amazing u was

In the role of mother

In age of eleven

They used to told you

That your mother was lucky

To have daughter like you

Who took care of home

And your baby brother

In age of thirteen

They used to told you

How you was capable

Of looking after their babies

As adult

Somewhere in age 11-13

They used to told you

Your mother wouldn't take it

Without you

Tooking care about her

They used to told you

You was so mature for your age

They used to told you...

They used to...

They don't talk to you anymore

They all left

Silently like ghosts

Look at you now

And them...

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.

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V pondělí mi vyrvaly dvě osmičky

Večer toho dne jsem si už pokuřovala cíga

V úterý jsem přestala žrát léky na bolest

Ve středu - dneska, jsem vytahala všechny stehy

A vrátila se ke svýmu milovanýmu zvracení

Hádám, že papír na hlavu mám oprávněně

A je to jen pár týdnů, co se mi miniaturní střepy

Z v opilosti rozbitý skleničky zabodly do prstu

Žiletkou jsem další den nařízla bříško ukazováčku

Ale pinzetou je nešlo vytáhnout

Tak jsem je i s kusem masa vyřízla