#trauma babe

the first few months outside of home, it would send shivers shooting down his spine, eyes wide open and jaw tense. the less he moves, the better, he figures, and he would wait it out

his reaction is different now, in that, although he is bothered most of the time, unless it’s directly at him, and he knows it’s at him, he won’t go completely rigid or anything; the threat level has decreased SO MUCH he’s. usually fine, unless he recognizes that it’s at him, that it’s intense, that it’s going to have consequences

he yells a lot, now, usually with friends because everyone is yelling and he just wants to be included

it’s sort of therapeutic? it’s another thing he can add to the list of stuff he’s in control of! he used to always have to be. quiet and stuff, but now he can kick his feet and stomp and yell and it’s whatever!

It reminds him of the cigars his father used to smoke when his friends would come over. They would sit outside until it got dark, smoking, drinking, talking about women, money, houses. Sometimes he sits with them. His father puts a hand on his knee and squeezes. Simmons finds an excuse to go inside.

Dulcina had already cooked, but she would make something more for his father’s friends. Set the table, as usual. Invite them all in. Richard eats in silence, but smiles. He likes having visitors. He doesn’t go out much. He doesn’t really have friends outside of school.

Dread builds up in his stomach as he eyes his plate. He eyes the clock. It’s nearly 10. They always eat late because Yadiel doesn’t leave the store until everything is secured, money counted, displays fixed, and he says that every time he slams the door open, preparing to scream. But today he brought friends, instead. But that doesn’t really change anything, his “routine”. It’s just stalling. He keeps stalling.

He is kinder in front of them, but it doesn’t change his tone. Just the volume. Is that what makes it acceptable, then? Is that why his friends laugh and his mother laughs and he has--to laugh?

The volume?