Re-released one of myĀ āthingsā - A Game About Something.Ā
Added a bit of polish as a bonus, though.
It still sucks.
Get it HEREĀ (or on itch.io)!

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Re-released one of myĀ āthingsā - A Game About Something.Ā
Added a bit of polish as a bonus, though.
It still sucks.
Get it HEREĀ (or on itch.io)!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
I don't usually post game dev stuff to this account but I'm close to finishing a thing and I'm excited. #gamedev #trashgames #indiedev
Kimono (Trashgames)
Kimono: A bloody samurai puzzle adventure
Free to play (Windows)
004 - Zone Runner (1/2) - Euphoric Rush (Chris Street)
I have to start todayās entry with an apology. See, I donāt know if this game is supposed to be blisteringly hard, but I sucked at it. I mean, I really sucked at it. So, with an unhealthy amount of shame and sorrow, I bring you a review for two games that I couldnāt even get past the first zone of. Iām the worst, I know.
Hereās Zone Runner, a cute little collect-em-up platformer from 2002, which I canāt goddamn believe was over fifteen years ago. If this game were a person, they could carry a handgun in Vermont by now. #scathingpoliticalcomment
Zone Runner is basic as heck, and thatās what I like about it. It doesnāt try to break the mould of platforming games, it just does it particularly well. Jump around, avoid the obstacles and the enemies, collect all of the gold coins and do it all again in the next level. Itās also worth noting that the soundtrack is excellent, which seems to be a running theme through these little reviews. I like soundtracks, okay?
Moshboy was also kind enough to include Zone Runner 2 in this bundle, which is about the same as the first with some graphical improvements and an all-round tighter experience. I really enjoyed both of them, despite totally sucking ass at them, and Iāve already reached the point where Iām struggling to come up with more things to say about them from my limited experience.
Iām not against hard games. I loved Cuphead and Hotline Miami, despite not being terribly good at either of them, and I donāt want anyone to think that āthis game is hard and Iām terrible at itā to read as āthis game is bad.ā This game rocks, and Iām the problem here.
Anyway, tomorrowās schedule brings us Radium Mines of Xantor, and with a name like that, it has to be good.
003 - Soul Jelly - Muffins
I canāt believe my luck. It turns out that Iāve played this one before, quite a few years ago, and Iād totally forgotten about this bizarre little firecracker. Distinguished reader, I give you Soul Jelly.
This game is the perfect example of what I like to call āthe gross aesthetic.ā The row of uneven, widely-spaced teeth, the pooling tears swimming out of those insane, bulging eyes and the various colors of veins showing through that hideously pink skin. This art style is fucking great.
Anyway, this isnāt an art critique, this is a video game review. Letās get back on track here.
You are a terrible, almost-naked suicide bomber with a giant cartoon bomb crammed in your mouth, and the game starts with you detonating a family of three for no discernible reason. Youāre swiftly transported to Hell, where you meet Death himself (who refers to Hell as Die, which Iām confused by) and are hired to balance the reaping of souls and keep the underworld tax man off Deathās back. Itās as good a pretext as any for a game where you have ten seconds to place your freaky little character in the perfect spot for maximum splash damage, and I absolutely love this depiction of Death.
The gameplay itself is awesome. Youāre given a specific goal (anything from killing exactly five people to killing nobody at all) and ten seconds to achieve it by blowing the heck up. Most levels introduce a new mechanic, be it someone that follows behind your character to enemies that shoot projectiles to make you explode prematurely. Itās fast, itās frantic and itās fun.
I canāt put how much I adore this game into words. Everything about it just oozes strangeness, from the concept to the soundtrack. While there are a few details that most would be turned off by (such as the fact you canāt skip the āfailedā screen before you can try again) I canāt complain about this gem at all. Itās a forgotten relic, and Iām going to be in debt to Moshboy forever for bringing this game back into my life.
Game number four is upon us. Tomorrow brings Zone Runner.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
002 - Connect - Amidos (Ahmed Khalifa)
Iām surprised that at only the second game, Iāve run into a name Iām familiar with. Iāve played another game by Amidos before, a charming twist on Rock, Paper, Scissors called RPSwipe available on iPhone and Android. Admittedly, this raised my expectations a little, so Iām going to try and be nice about the game I played today.
Connect should be a really nice game. Itās a little puzzle game with a simple mechanic, and some absolutely lovely music. The gameplay consists of creating links between numbered dots to cancel out each value and bring the entire board down to zero. Itās actually surprisingly zen, for a puzzle game. I really enjoyed it while I played it. But, unfortunately, we have to come to a huge criticism... the entire game runs on a sixty-second timer.
As soon as I found out that there was a fixed time limit, this is where the game went from a peaceful and relaxing puzzle to a taxing dash for the finish. I tried it again twice, each time making a little more progress, before I decided this game wasnāt for me. Without the time limit, I would have really loved this game. Itās kind of a shame that my opinion dropped so far due to one tiny little detail, but it kinda ruined the whole experience for me. That being said, Iām glad I could play another game from an indie creator Iāve already heard of, and Iāll be sure to check out some more of the works of Amidos.
Next time, join me as we take on Soul Jelly and I attempt to decide on how to capitalize the titles of some of these games.
001 - Save Ultimate Wainbow Kitty - Jake Clover
When I decided to start this project, I had only one wish: to touch on that weird and wonderful feeling of early-2000ā²s freeware. You know what Iām taking about. Those games that just somehow appeared on the server of every high school on the planet, and nobody really knows who put them there. Icy Tower and Elasto Mania are two classic examples. As luck would have it, I found exactly that in the first game off the starting line. What a thrill.
Save Ultimate Wainbow Kitty is a great example of an old concept with a new spin. It plays like Frogger with an old lady carrying a chain gun. To begin, the game tells you to cross the āextwemely chaotic highwayā and it isnāt kidding. These cars are not fucking around, they have places to be and theyāre putting the pedal to the metal. Thankfully, you can start pileups with your aforementioned firearm to block the flow of traffic and reach the kitty on the other side, which is both satisfying and fun. While a lot of open-world games give me the opportunity to riddle a public bus with bullets, it isnāt very often that Iām given a reason to, let alone a reason this silly.
Once you reach your beloved kitty, itās time to journey back across the road, armed with an RPG to make things even more disorderly. I feel that itās important to mention here that upon collecting your kitty, the music from Nyan Cat starts playing in the background, which I havenāt heard since my first year of film school. Itās a strange, multi-layered kind of nostalgia to play a game so similar to early 2000ā²s freeware weirdness while listening to a tune from the era where you used to drink absinthe on a weekday, but thatās neither here nor there.
After reaching the other side, the game congratulates you on making it home āback in time for din-dins.ā And thatās it. The experience is over. Cāest la vie.
I honestly really enjoyed this game, despite the gameplay being a touch frustrating at times. Itās goofy, itās fun, itās a clever twist on the premise... itās a great sample of what this collection has in store. The art style is simple and wholesome, and the music is actually pretty great. Iām a little disappointed that the game ends so abruptly, as it had enough potential to carry on for a few levels, but I enjoyed the one and only level enough not to complain about that too much. All-up, Jake Clover has made me smile.
Tune in tomorrow for our second game, Connect.
Salutations, friends.
Itās the 18th of February in 2018 and Iāve just stumbled upon a collection called the Pirate Bay Bundle, put together by none other than the trashgame king, Moshboy. I donāt know how Iāve never heard of this before, and itās clearly a attestation to the fact that those I surround myself with are terrible at telling me about this kind of thing.
So, with no further ado and without any fanfare whatsoever, I propose the following: Iām going to play every last one of the 101 games in this bundle, one per day, and review all of them. Iāve done a little Googling and it doesnāt look like anyoneās done this yet, so I feel like itās my duty to do it. After all, finding a niche is the only reason I do anything anymore.
Now, if youāll excuse me, Iām going to pour myself a drink and get started on game number one: Save Ultimate Wainbow Kitty. BRB.