#trash hell

i cant wait for black friday/cyber monday to get here so the supernatural seasons go on sale for stupid cheap so i can buy the most recent few and binge watch them in a day and retreat into my own personal hell

toby ziegler is born in 1954 to yiddish-speaking parents! he probably did not grow up bilingual but did grow up with some working knowledge of yiddish and retains it into adulthood! in 1985 even in new york he is still distinctly A Jew and would be viewed as Ethnic; books at the time still designated non-WASP white people by their ethnicities (a polish man, an italian man) in a way you’d rarely see today. toby grew up in brooklyn and went to CUNY and thus would have been speaking, probably, a more defined dialect than he has in tww once he’s left his home town. the accent would be thicker. you can see syntactical traces of yiddish and other new york jewishisms in his tww speech, and one imagines they’d be more prominent in his younger days. i’m not saying toby is speaking straight-up yinglish but i am saying toby is at least dropping a “you want i should” every now and again?! i forgot to account for this!?

it is actually difficult for me to pull off writing a narrator as unreliable as 80s josh lyman... omg.... how do you write a narrative pockmarked with dissociative holes and yet have it remain coherent and legible to the reader.... how do i convey that events have happened but josh doesn’t acknowledge that they’ve happened (or formally remember them) whiLE IN THIRD-PERSON LIMITED

like no one is going to give a flying fuck if it's insufficiently bleak bc whatever the realism in the details, its emotional underpinnings will be fantasy. that is not wrong. it's not illegal. you have vastly overestimated the number of fucks ppl will give about aspects that are INHERENT TO THE GENRE

whenever i listen to the scissor sisters' 'fire with fire' i end up thinking about 1980s josh lyman, undergoing some measure of hard-won psychological healing, and EVERY TIME i get chills. idk what this says about me but i recommend it if you want to feel an Emotion