#transselfieday

As I type this, I have my screen scrolled down far enough that the picture isn’t even visible to me. Even with literal masks on, I’m still not comfortable looking at my own face. There’s a Malkavian proverb I’m following right now, though: “When you find you are falling into madness, dive.” So this is me diving, posting probably my first selfie I’ve ever kept. Even then, I struggled with myself to not delete this one, too.

A lot of what I could say here I already said last year. (x) Unlike then, though, I decided to take a step towards putting my face out there. I still don’t feel like I can trust the overwhelming majority of the people in my life with the fact that I’m trans, but over the past year, this blog has become something of a safe space for me. I don’t interact with many people, and those interactions I do have are few and far between, but in every case they’ve been kind, considering, and more caring than most of the people I’ve known in my life. It’s comforting to know that even though I can’t openly be who I am for most of my life, I can still be myself here and be accepted, without judgement. Offline, I have to be the person that was assigned to me. Here, I get to be the person I’ve chosen to be.