Jun 28
Btw if you're a trans woman you're allowed to like guys. You don't lose queerness for it. I know some of you are repressing it. You know who you are
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Btw if you're a trans woman you're allowed to like guys. You don't lose queerness for it. I know some of you are repressing it. You know who you are
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straight trans men i love you. youre not invading the lgbtq community by being trans and straight. you're not a predator for dating women. you're not a predator for loving women as a man. youre not "boring". you're not any less trans or queer than gay/bi trans men. youre not the enemy. your transition doesnt make you a traitor to lesbianism. youre not acting as "conversion therapy" to lesbians and youre not "turning" straight women gay. you deserve to be affirmed in your gender AND sexuality
something super obnoxious about how there are little to no queer woman-liking spaces for men and all the queer woman-liking spaces that aren't dedicated to men are very explicitly against men being there out of principle. something super obnoxious about how the only imagined queer attraction to women is a woman's attraction to women. something something the het transmasculine draw to butchfemme/lesbian content regardless of one's possibly very non-butch/non-lesbian identity. transmasculinity is impossible it's never been done before.
I (a trans man) literally broke up with my ex-gf (a trans woman) because she kept calling our relationship "gay" and our sex life "gay sex" and it made me so dysphoric I self harmed over it. She just didn't get that it felt disrespectful to me. She would assure me she saw me as a man, but that didn't make me feel better, because then it felt like she was disrespecting herself.
back when i was experimenting with being nonbinary (largely due to transandrophobia in the trans community) I called myself a lesbian once, and my girlfriend at the time (take a guess at which girlfriend she was) told me not to do that, said "i know you know yourself better than i do, but dont demean yourself like that" and refused to let me argue. meanwhile, she had this bit where if i ever said "excuse me" shed say "excuse me princess" in this horrible voice and i unsurprisingly didnt love being called princess and i asked her to stop bc it made me dysphoric and she said it was just a joke and she wasnt actually calling me princess. and then guess what she continued to do up until she tried to kill me. i felt scared to ask her to stop because of the whole violence thing. and this is only a little related i feel like this is completely different but i was just thinking about it today
idk like. sometimes youre just not compatible with someone. like some trans guys feel comfortable dating lesbians and some lesbians feel comfortable dating trans guys, but thats not true for everyone. it can be a really touchy subject. a lot of trans guys dont want to be included in someones lesbianism of "the exception". im not going to antagonize your ex or anything, but its not hard to just not say shit that makes your trans partners uncomfortable, and if she was told not to do it then thats just inappropriate behavior. if you cant do that, then dont date trans people lol, or at least only date trans people who are ok with that kind of thing. like some st4t couples do consider their relationships gay and are comfortable with calling themselves and their relationships gay, but not all of us are. because yeah, my wife is really uncomfortable with anyone calling us gay because shes not a man and i am, and im not gay though nobody cares about straight trans men so that doesnt really matter to anyone, but i did struggle to find myself as a straight trans guy
idk. i think a lot of non straight queer/trans people (including trans people) believe that being straight is the worst thing that you can be and then they apply that to like. trans people like me who have had to fight twice as hard to be straight than a cis person has to to be gay, and then we're only called straight by terfs and transphobes misgendering both of us at the same time. not that youre straight, idk your sexuality, but like. i do think a lot of non straight queer/trans people view calling people gay as a compliment and it can be really dysphoria inducing for some of us. because yeah i completely understand where youre coming from for feeling misgendered, my wife feels the same way
lesboys, transmasc lesbians, trans man lesbians ect are valid and i will always stand by my trans lesbian brothers. but in a community where almost every trans man has felt like hes "lost something" coming out as a man and not a woman, feeling like we need to compensate for our manhood because our community tells us we're taking away from women for the crime of being tranamasculine, trans men like myself often feeling like we need to cling to womanhood in order to be accepted as queer and this going doubly for non mlm trans men, i wonder how many lesbian trans men/transmascs would identify as straight/transhet if not for the raging transandrophobia and transheterophobia directed against trans men who love women
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wait, so non-het trans people are saying [implied binary] transhets are not oppressed for their sexuality because they're straight, and society encourages men and women to be in sexual and romantic partnerships? binary transhets; who are either t4t (same gender class) or in a same assigned sex relationships?
is this because of all of the transphobia that says t4c trans non-hets aren't trans and are straight and are not oppressed for their sexuality and are actually correctively raping real homosexuals and are disgusting perverts, and also says that t4t trans non-hets are either just lesbians if they're gay or just gay if they're lesbians?
if that's the reason, i'll understand and believe you to be worthy of forgiveness, but please stop. if not for your community, than at least for yourself, who of which you owe intellectual honesty to.
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