Little realizations:
I put on ear defenders & retreated into our car because I got sensory overloaded yesterday.
At some point I started to feel better, & put earbuds in underneath. Once everything stopped spinning & hurting I started to sing along to the music.
...& then I realized.
The reason I always struggled with solo auditions for choir class? Sensory overload & anxiety. Something that actually would've helped? Ear defenders.
Because I can't hear people talking so I can't get as anxious, & I can still hear my own voice but I can focus on the music instead of everything I can hear/see around me. So even if people see me, I can focus on performing.
So...maybe we could actually perform on stage. But we'd need ear defenders during the actual singing part so we don't panic or get overloaded.
((I think we'll still wait until we've been on HRT/HAT (T) long enough for our voice to drop, but it gives me hope that we can overcome our stage fright & the overwhelming-ness of the stage))
~Nico (co-host, protector; he/they)
