#toxicitty

While normally I would be in agreement that women of color especially Black Women often face the negative stigma of us being too loud or demanding and toxic once we state our opinions. This is not the case for Misha. From the Kelli Amirah and colorism scandal, to the mixed and harmful messages of queerness in the show, its negativity towards interracial queer couples, mishandling of indigenous two-spirited-peoples, Shannon Houston stating on the Lovecraft Country Podcast that she was yelled at for turning in her script past the deadline, and now to these allegations; in the high premise of everything surrounding the HBOs cancelation of Lovecraft Country due to toxicity it seemed like the right call to make.

To me it seems as if toxicity came from the writers room and traveled down to the staff and maybe the actors. A part of it is a shame that this show got canceled, as I wanted to see what was in store for baby Billie aka Ruby and Christina’s child; but the atmosphere told on itself along with the writing, the interviews, failure to win amongst the awards shows, and even sometimes with the arrogant responses Misha Gave on Interview’s. No one wants to work with a toxic person or a person who allows toxicity, and to that minus all of the negative themes of the show is what caused it’s undoing. Hopefully next time Misha could learn from her mistakes.

"[T]here is a steep price society and individuals pay for expressing this type of masculinity." —Alex Yarde

Alex Yarde of “The Good Men Project” found a great deal more than mere disrespect of one’s elder in the recent incident involving students from the all-boys Covington Catholic High School taunting Native American veteran Nathan Phillips.

He saw disrespectful teens making a foolish mistake, but he also saw boys on their way to becoming men who have been failed by the elders in their own lives — their fathers, mothers, and society at large — leading them to the brand of masculinity that many in modern times have concluded is toxic.

In making his point, Yarde noted a recent piece by Melinda Wenner Moyer, titled The Boys Are Watching, in which she argues that men who are offended by the notion of toxic masculinity need to hear the message more than ever.

She writes: “Kids learn by watching what we do, not by listening to what we say, and boys in particular absorb a lot from their fathers as well as from male public figures. They watch prominent men in their lives stick up, or not, for victims of bullying or sexual harassment. They watch how men treat their girlfriends and wives and interact with women in public. Many boys watched one man, the President of the United States, publicly mock a woman who testified to Congress that she was a victim of sexual assault. Many also heard him brag about grabbing women “by the pussy.”

Yarde asks: “Is it really that hard to fathom why these young men, wearing Trump Supporter “Make America Great Again” (MAGA) hats, felt justified in mocking an elder at prayer?”

The President of the United States, who was charged with civil rights violations in the 70’s for not renting to black people, who publicly mocked a disabled reporter, smeared over a dozen female sexual assault survivors that accused him, regularly threatens and bullies detractors, called Mexicans “rapists”, is ok with the separation of desperate, asylum-seeking families, caged brown migrant children in kennels, and belittled Sen. Elizabeth Warren by sarcastically using a noble historical Native American hero’s name, Pocahontas, as a slur.

…

There are as many ways to express masculinity as their are men. Positive ones like championing the weak, valuing women, showing empathy, practicing self-control, and respect for others. And, the negative “toxic” behaviors that support a hegemonic view of masculinity, highlighted in the first part of the Gillette ad above, where non-conforming men or outliers are ridiculed as “Snowflakes” or “betas”, for example.

These hegemonic, “toxic” traits of masculinity as Trump exemplifies, need serious counter-programming to combat the legitimization of powerful men’s “dudebros” culture and male hegemonic position in society. Justifying subordination of the common male population, women, and other benevolent marginalized ways of being a man is the Patriarchy you’ve read about, but as white, straight cis-males in particular, may even question its existence.

Yarde concluded with the Cherokee “Two Wolves” legend:

Two Wolves: A Cherokee Legend

A grandfather is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil—he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good—he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.”

“The same fight is going on inside you—and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

  @toxicitty​​ :     continued                 ↳               –           [ post ]

gracefully ,      she leans her cheek into the bump of her left shower  ;    attentionally following her monologue .       “ look  like  someone “     of course she did  .         that was the point ,     wasn’t it ?        she was every other girl ---      beautiful and dumb and palatable ,     nothing but butterflies in her tummy and air in her skull .              ❛     oh .    just one of those faces ,       i guess ...        ❜      adelaide responds meekly ,    toying with the white lily dying between her fingertips like a fiddle ,   words like plush and cotton in her tongue .         she offers the   flower      with an innocent little  smudge   of a smile blurred across her lips .     ❛       for your disappointment .      ❜

“ Look, it’s almost October and I’m REALLY not in a good mood right now. God damn this stupid slasher drive bullshit of mine....

Can’t even get up in the morning this time of year without wanting to pick a fight with anything with legs....”

                                    “ you can go soon as i hear your side of the story. ” eye witnesses to cases couldn’t always be that reliable. in the throws of trauma people filled in blanks, or people thought they saw things they didn’t, or profiling. yeah that was a bad one. made their job harder, his job, and so he went on evidence. cold hard evidence he could hold in his hands because this city had enough problems without throwing all that other bullshit in the gangs, and murders that already happened regularly.  “ so tell me what happened in your words, and i’ll let you go, frankly much a what you say won’t mean shit to me anyway, but .... might get me somewhere that does, so start from the beginning. ” 

+ @toxicitty​ asked:  Don’t trouble your tiny little mind. - for Ivy

TOUGH TALK FROM A NOBODY

He had heard of her, knew of her work, know how sloppy it was, it was armature hour out there without him. These weekly little visits were the only INTERESTING thing he had to do. Always good to speak to your ADORING public and when one of them turns out be a MONSTER just like you are, all the more BETTER to want these weekly visits. Not many people came to see him, he had KILLED a lot of people, HURT a lot more, not really well LIKED in the city, but his WORK was well known, there was NO one better than him with a BLADE, there was no one who could leave a BODY all cut up like he can, there was NO one who understood the MASTERPIECES he left behind.

“YoU DoN’T KnOw tHaT KiD. i cAn tAkE ThIs pLaYiNg cArD AnD I CaN HuRt yOu rEaLlY - ReAlLy - bAdLy, YoU JuSt lAcK ThE ImAgInAtIoN. yOu hAvE No iDeA HoW BaDlY I CaN HuRt yOu.”

He looked at her through the glass. Always a GOOD thing to see the YOUNG up and comers in this city, only REASON he even spoke to this one was because she had some potential, a RARE thing these days, but it was there - however SMALL it might have been. He leaned back in his chair and just stared at her, wondering who she had HURT this week, had she KILLED, had she started to up her GAME, it was all well and good, taking a LIFE, but unless you were being CHASED and HUNTED, were was the FUN.