#cul-en

Hello all <3

I am so very sorry to have disappeared for so long. Even though I felt like I needed to fade back into the fog of war as it were for personal physical/mental health reasons, I dealt with it poorly, and I should have kept in touch way better than I did. And for that I truly am sorry and I apologize for any distress I caused any of my partners, and any worry you might have endured on my behalf. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me. <3

Acute anxiety is a daily thing for me, and becoming aware that I dealt with it poorly was probably one of the best things that could have happened in my life. I have started therapy (and medication), and hopefully one day I will be able to deal like anyone else without retreating to my safety bubble and hiding out. But I am trying, and I will get better.

But until then-- if you still want to be friends with me: bless you, you are a saint and I don’t deserve you. If you still want to be my partner, then my god you’re probably a masochist (but you knew that anyway if we had a thread :P ) and I appreciate you more than I can say. If you need to dip, I understand that as well and I appreciate you, too.

To everyone who sticks around-- I am not going to reboot this blog, as I really want to keep it in the state it was before my absence. Both to remind me of what sort of awesome relationships I and Fen were able to build with all of you, all the amazing ooc fuckery, and to encourage me to cultivate those valuable connections in the future. I will be wiping clean most of my draft plate, however, though I am not adverse to continuing threads that had particularly strong/long-running plots. I also will not presume that Fen still retains the relationships that he enjoyed before, but if you would like to continue writing together, please just hit me up and we can discuss everything in pms (I also have many life story things I can share if you’re interested, so. Just ask for those as well).

Since I am still under a good amount of stress with life and work things, and I want to have a balanced experience here, I will be keeping my threads to a manageable level-- no more triple digit thread lists, I have most certainly learned my lesson.

I guess that’s everything. Thanks again guys <3 for your support over the years, for your company, for your encouragement and friendship. I appreciate you more than I can say, now and in whatever future is in store for any of us.

I’ll see you around <3 I will be lurking, dropping asks and posting occasionally as I get back into the drift of things. Feel free to poke me if you want to chat!

Much love,