Top Tips by James May
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Top Tips by James May

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top tips for young people: you know the back stretching thing? the one where you start from standing up, lean over all the way, dangling your arms, then actually stretch your arms lightly downward so your hands are hanging out around your feet, and then slowly uncoil your back upward, going “vertebra by vertebra” at least in theory, lifting your stretched arms in front of you to describe an arc, until you’re standing with your arms above your head in a sort of tall O?
it’s a bit like a sun salutation but not the hard part, where you plank out for the down-on-the-ground back arching. the thing i mean is simpler. you literally just stand there and repeatedly fiddlehead and unfiddlehead yourself
so i had to do that in like eight different phys ed etc contexts in my childhood through early twenties? and tbh i always thought it was pointless and boring
well. it isn’t pointless and you should keep doing it every couple of months just to check things are still good, because if you go like twenty years without thinking to do it — which is easy, right. you’re no longer getting phys ed serendipitously in the course of school. maybe you were so busy formal exercise had to be deprioritized. maybe you’re active, but only doing cardio, or only playing football, or stretching regularly but only your legs, not your back —
your back might kinda fuse up into regions that act like frozen plaques each of which won’t coil or uncoil internally anymore such that you can no longer fiddlehead and unfiddlehead yourself in one smooth motion, but can only do a weird jerky version of the thing, like what a guy made of lego would do
this is: A Bunch Of Bullshit
i’m not the world’s biggest athlete, i always had minor issues with balance and agility, but i’m very physically functional generally speaking, and it absolutely frosts me that my back is basically this
and it feels like actually doing the thing on the regular maybe would have avoided full devolution into patio
so, you know, have the free advice for what it’s worth
If you goon while squatting it could probably save your life
Okay so basically gooning while squatting strengthens your legs and also balance probably as well as your control; keep that in mind.
Imagine you’re in a situation where you need to get down low and crouch/squat, e.g you’re in a lockdown and there isn’t enough space to sit comfortably. The average person can only hold a squat for one to two minutes, however lockdowns may last for much longer. However, like I said before, gooning while squatting can strengthen your legs, and severely lessen any discomfort and pain the average person may experience in a prolonged squat. Reading this back I realise that just doing daily squatting can probably have the same affect however if you aren’t keen on exercise then just goon
I kid you not this works not clickbate
How to hold a Brush pen in just three simple steps that will last a lifetime
best thing to cure unhappiness is to moisturise

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First ever Comic Con appearance this weekend! Who’s got tips? Never been to a convention in my life so it is whole new world and generally my OCD brain does not love whole new worlds. Tell me your favourite bits, your top tips, your strategies for coping with over stimulation in these places … it’s all helpful to a newbie con guest
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