#top tips

it’s a bit like a sun salutation but not the hard part, where you plank out for the down-on-the-ground back arching. the thing i mean is simpler. you literally just stand there and repeatedly fiddlehead and unfiddlehead yourself

so i had to do that in like eight different phys ed etc contexts in my childhood through early twenties? and tbh i always thought it was pointless and boring

well. it isn’t pointless and you should keep doing it every couple of months just to check things are still good, because if you go like twenty years without thinking to do it — which is easy, right. you’re no longer getting phys ed serendipitously in the course of school. maybe you were so busy formal exercise had to be deprioritized. maybe you’re active, but only doing cardio, or only playing football, or stretching regularly but only your legs, not your back —

your back might kinda fuse up into regions that act like frozen plaques each of which won’t coil or uncoil internally anymore such that you can no longer fiddlehead and unfiddlehead yourself in one smooth motion, but can only do a weird jerky version of the thing, like what a guy made of lego would do

this is: A Bunch Of Bullshit

i’m not the world’s biggest athlete, i always had minor issues with balance and agility, but i’m very physically functional generally speaking, and it absolutely frosts me that my back is basically this

and it feels like actually doing the thing on the regular maybe would have avoided full devolution into patio

Okay so basically gooning while squatting strengthens your legs and also balance probably as well as your control; keep that in mind.

Imagine you’re in a situation where you need to get down low and crouch/squat, e.g you’re in a lockdown and there isn’t enough space to sit comfortably. The average person can only hold a squat for one to two minutes, however lockdowns may last for much longer. However, like I said before, gooning while squatting can strengthen your legs, and severely lessen any discomfort and pain the average person may experience in a prolonged squat. Reading this back I realise that just doing daily squatting can probably have the same affect however if you aren’t keen on exercise then just goon

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step 2. spray the entire interior of the car with bug spray. you'll want to use at least 1 full canister, preferably more for the full effect.

step 3. light a cigarette. if you have followed the instructions properly, your vehicle should now be pest-free.