#tmwy

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic]. 

I CAN’T. lmao! there was only ever going to be one end to tmwy, and it wasn’t going to be “happy,” in the way that they’d end up together. i v much wanted to write a fic abt them realizing that they needed to be apart. but i think in terms of the whole series, i expected to go into the reunion tour in ‘dlmg’ and have them write and record and perform together, and navigate whether they still wanted to be together after they’d kept their word and come back. the thing about dlmg, tho, is that they’re so much older in that fic. like, 

Niall shrugs, and moves on. “But we’d been together for a few years, and it seemed silly not to. Looking back, you know, at you and me, we were so young. We were just kids, really; neither of us had real lives since we joined the band, and, I don’t know.” Niall lets out a soft, joyless laugh and covers his face with his hands.

“I’m sorry,” Niall says again, when he’s holding the door open for Harry. He doesn’t look lost or forlorn or small in the open doorway of his house. He just looks like Niall. “For what I put you through.”

You make me happy, Harry told Niall once. He makes him happy now in a different way, the familiar slope of his nose and his shoulders and his laugh, mixed up with all of Harry’s best memories of the most exciting time of his life. He’s an inextricable part of the band. Maybe that’ll have to be enough.

harry in tmwy was YEARS away from this. i rmr really missing him in all his neurotic, overemotional, nostalgic, long-winded self while writing dlmg, but they wouldn’t have worked if they hadn’t grown. i’m sorry to disappoint you! but i rly don’t think tmwy could’ve ended differently. u know, that series, i don’t think it ever rly ends. 

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

aw. this one. i’m incredibly, horribly bad at naming things, so i had a couple of working titles for tmwy that were mostly me complaining abt how long it was taking to write: ‘i’m taking my time on my ride’ for ex. but for the most part i just had it saved as ‘canon fic’ on word. and then i went to see walk the moon. they played stubb’s in austin, tx, in october for a Late Night show after austin city limits. 

stubb’s is this great outdoor venue with maybe 2k audience members spread over rolling grass and sand hills, and unless you’re front row, you can see the way the awning over the stage tapers to a point like the prow of a ship. past it, over the audience’s head, there’s only stars. there’s something magic about that setup, like the whole sky is in attendance at stubb’s shows, that makes great gigs feel spectacular. back in may, wtm had done a show where nick p paused between songs to say, ‘you can take this with you!’ & that show changed my life.

when wtm played ‘portugal’ again that october, tmwy was maybe halfway done, and i think that feeling of the band being much more than halfway done, of it nearly being over, was rly present. so the fic title had a personal meaning and a band-specific meaning for me, both having to do with growth and loss. there was this really delicate thread of feeling i wanted that fic to have and i’m not sure it does, but it goes something like, ‘our venn diagrams are one circle / you grow up when i’m not looking / we grow apart without knowing,’ and that they had plans, and that that was okay. it’s alright to move on, just ‘take me with you.’

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

niall. always niall. but also louis. when i was writing tmwy, i remember telling arwa the bullet-points abt where everyone was at, and her response then, as it has been since, was that i enjoyed making her trash son suffer. i do. there’s a real harsh satisfaction to louis’s suffering because to me, he’s always the one who expects the least from himself, so he’s the one who wants most to prove what he’s capable of, so he’s the one that does. he’s the unsung heroes of most of the fics he’s in, i think. 

Y: A character you want to protect.

HARRY. i think if u look at my fic, i’m way harsher to niall than harry. niall gets a kid dropped on him, niall gets suckered into fake dating harry, niall gets divorced, niall loses harry and lost zayn. harry feels much more vulnerable and breakable to me, so most of his angst comes from all the things he doesn’t have. 

Z: Major character death--do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can't tolerate?

♡: my favorite part: i bitched and moaned the WHOLE WAY through writing that fic bc i kept wanting it to be over and it kept going on...and on...and on. i think i wrote the last 20k of that fic in one day, i was so ready to have finished it. but it was also MASSIVELY fun to write. i rmr getting to the part where they’re on the motorcycle trip up the PCH and they stop for food, and it’s been raining, and 

Niall leans back in his seat, his posture slumped. It takes Harry a moment to recognize it. Relaxed. It’s like some essential tension has gone out of him since he realized Harry wasn’t desperate to go solo. 

“Asking for tea in an American restaurant, that’s the most English thing I’ve seen you do in ages.” 

“It’s not like I’ve forgotten,” Harry rolls his eyes. “‘S not like I’m not still me.” 

“No, I know,” Niall agrees. “You’re the most you I’ve ever seen you.”