#tleed

Beautiful tropical fish Brenna tagged me.

1. Where would you take me on a night on the town in your town?  There is a statue in my town of a boy.  The boy is holding the turtle.  He is holding the turtle by the back legs, very close to his body.  Yes, he looks like he's giving it to the turtle.  THAT BOY IS FUCKING A TURTLE.  That's where I'd take you.  Let's have a picnic by the turtle fucker.  

2. Do you like babies more or kids more? YOU CAN’T SAY “NEITHER”!!!!!!  I love babies more!!  I don't love kids once they start talking back.  I love babies because they smell delicious and they look so pretty and they're so portable.  I like when you can see them seeing a thing for the first time and they're like THAT'S BEAUTIFUL AND I LOVE IT and you're like THAT'S YOUR TOES STUPID.  Babies are the shit. 

3. What’s a scene in a movie that always makes you cry? DESCRIBE IT BUT DON’T NAME THE MOVIE. uuuughhh when old robin williams and his wife are lying in bed and their government is like ROBIN WILLIAMS YOU'RE A PERSON AND YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS and robin williams and his wife are soooo happppy and then they die.  

4. I’ve never been on a date and plan to get plastic surgery to look like the old maid on the Old Maid card game. Will you describe one of your dates you’ve been on for me? Please? For your old auntie? I'M NOT A DATE CONNOISSEUR!  I'VE ONLY BEEN ON LAME ONES WITH DINNER AND A MOVIE!!! I'VE SEEN A LOT OF DUMB MOVIES FOR THE SAKE OF BOYS I DIDN'T LIKE!   THAT'S WHY I STOPPED DATING!!

5. What is unforgivable? Not loving grilled cheese samiches. 

6. What were your favorite TV shows as a child? (Sorry if you weren’t allowed to watch TV as a child.)   Arthur, Wishbone, Kablaam! Ahh! Real Monsters, The Wild Thornberry's, All That. 

7. Which Disney movies have you not seen? If you’ve seen all of them, which is your least favorite?  I'VE NEVER SEEN ROAD TO EL DORADO.  I FEEL LIKE TUMBLR IS ALWAYS UP ON THAT MOVIE'S DICK.

8. What is the most erotic yet non-sexual thing a person can do? (For example: when a man puts his arm around the passenger seat in his pickup truck regardless of whether or not there’s a passenger.)   Take a bottle of Snapple and turn it upside down, and then rhymically tap it against their palm while maintaining eye contact.  DON'T YOU JUDGE ME TUMBLR.  

9. What do you want to name your children and/or hamsters?   LIKE GEORGE COSTANZA I'M DEF NAMING MY DAUGHTER SODA.  

10. What is your favorite music video(s)?  TLC's Waterfall.  GURLS KNOW WHAT'S UP WITH MUSIC VIDEOS.  

11. DO YOU LIKE ONE DIRECTION?  baby, you know I do.  NIALL ME ON IT.  

Here are my questions!

1. Do you put up a Christmas tree?  If you do, when is the appropriate time to take it down again?

2. What's your favorite kind of dinosaur?

3.  If you could bang any deceased president, who would you choose.  (IN THIS QUESTION I DO NOT MEAN HE HAS BEEN TAXIDERMIED AND THEN YOU BANG HIM.  HE'S COME BACK TO LIFE BUT NOT IN A WEIRD JESUS WAY.  LOOK I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE THE EASY OUT OF BANGING OBAMA.  YOU'RE NOT SPECIAL, WE ALL WOULD.)

4. Mary Kate or Ashley?

5.  It's raining like crazy, it's Sunday afternoon and you have nothing to do.  What do you put on TV?

6. Do you like turtlenecks or do you feel like you're being choked by a weak person all day?

7.  Who is the strangest looking person you'd have sex with? 

8.  Who was your childhood celebrity crush?

9.  Do you think that there is a person alive between the ages of 18-35 who does not know all the words to Smash Mouth's Rock Star?

10. Tell me about your morning hygiene routine.