#tiring

Because people usually say it after you have survived something difficult, but very rarely do they ask what surviving it actually cost you.

What it cost your energy. Your sense of safety. Your ability to relax completely. The softer parts of you that got worn down from carrying too much for too long.

I think there are people who have been resilient for so many years that they no longer know how to stop bracing themselves. People who became dependable because they had to. People who kept going, not because they were fearless, but because life did not really give them another option.

And after a while, resilience stops feeling empowering. It just becomes tiring.

You get tired of being the one who “handles it.” Tired of adapting. Tired of recovering. Tired of surviving difficult things and then immediately being expected to continue functioning like nothing happened.

Sometimes you don’t want to be strong. Sometimes you want to be held gently by life for once.

You want rest that actually feels restful. You want softness without guilt. You want to stop feeling like every difficult experience is just another lesson you are supposed to grow from.

And honestly, I think that feeling deserves more understanding than it gets.

Because there is a quiet grief in realizing how much of your life has been spent enduring instead of simply living.

So if you are tired of being resilient, I hope you know that does not make you weak or ungrateful or incapable.

It makes you human.

Human beings were never meant to carry endless amounts of pain without eventually becoming exhausted by it.

You deserve support too. You deserve gentleness too. You deserve spaces where you do not have to be the strong one all the time.

And I hope one day you experience a kind of peace that does not require survival first.

Not relief after crisis. Not temporary comfort between difficult periods.

its the way they've just progressively been getting worse and worse like lol okay never listen and learn i guess