okay so, siege on burial mounds, wwx hiding a-yuan in a tree: 3, 17, 28, 26, or 38
3, goodbye; 17, to distract; 26, as an apology; 28, as a lie; 38, because theyâre running out of time.
Grabbing A-Yuan had been instinctual once the fighting had broken out- though fighting was a rather generous term. Wei Wuxian knew the Wen remnants, his new family, his people, wouldnât stand a chance without him there, but the truth of the matter was he had the sinking feeling they wouldnât stand a chance regardless.
They were outnumbered, ten thousand to one it felt like, and the onslaught would not stop until he was dead. Although he would fight tooth and nail to defend what heâd sworn to protect, what heâd worked so hard to build, he couldnât allow a small child to be caught up in the battle.
If he could guarantee the survival of at least one life, he would do whatever it took.
A-Yuan fussed and struggled in his grip at first, confused as to why they were running away from home when their family was screaming and strange men were storming the mountain. Wei Wuxian merely held him tighter to his chest, covering his ears however he could, drowning out the sounds of battle with his own heartbeat.Â
The air burned his lungs as he breathed, an all too familiar feeling heâd tried so hard to forget. To think Jiang Cheng had been beside him the last time his home had been set on fire, only to be the one burning it now.Â
But there was no time for reminiscence or regret. He could deal with all that once he faced Jiang Cheng again. Right now, he had to find a place to hide...
Salvation came in the form of a hollowed-out tree trunk, the bark scorched and flaking off. The space was just big enough to hold a small child, and Wei Wuxian knew it was this or nothing. He could only pray the tree did not re-ignite with A-Yuan still inside.
Crouching down, he placed A-Yuan inside the tree, but found him clutching desperately to his robes once he tried to move away. Their eyes met then, A-Yuanâs sweet little round face brimming with concern.
Wei Wuxian felt himself falter, if only briefly, as he cupped the childâs face in his hands. A-Yuan brought one hand away from his robes in favor of holding his hand to his cheek.
âXian-gege?â He asked, his tiny voice weak and quivering.Â
Wei Wuxianâs heart broke then. This child knew nothing of what was happening, he understood nothing of what was to come, but he knew it was bad and he knew Wei Wuxian was trying to leave him behind.Â
âListen to me closely,â he whispered, knowing he only had minutes, perhaps seconds, âeveryone is in danger, and I need to go back and help. You have to stay here where itâs safe- donât come out until you canât hear anything anymore. Okay? Not until everything is completely quiet.â
âI can help too!â A-Yuan quickly insisted, his hand once again flying out to clutch Wei Wuxianâs robes. âI can!â
The sound of blades clashing seemed to get closer. Wei Wuxian could not risk dragging this out, even though this was by far the most painful thing heâd ever done. Forcing a smile, he stroked A-Yuanâs cheeks and nodded.
âYou can, you can help me by staying right here.â He brushed some hair away from A-Yuanâs face, making sure he was snug within the tree trunk with his eyes solely on him. âThatâll be the source of my power. With you in this tree, I canât lose.â
A-Yuan didnât seem convinced, and who could blame him? But Wei Wuxian was out of options. Out of options and out of time.Â
âYouâll come back?â A-Yuanâs eyes filled with tears as he tried to process being left behind, left alone.
âOf course,â Wei Wuxian lied, and in that moment it was the easiest lie heâd ever told. A-Yuan stopped crying, his eyes now gleaming with a hopeful spark. âIâll come right back to bury you with the radishes.â
A-Yuan gave a little giggle and slowly let go of Wei Wuxianâs robes, but he immediately reached for him again when he began to pull back.
âBut you have to promise,â Wei Wuxian gently pried A-Yuanâs hands away, âthat youâll stay here until all the fighting stops and you canât hear a thing. No matter how long it takes.â
It wasnât fair. They hadnât had enough time together; if heâd known, he wouldâve spent less time teasing the little boy and more time spoiling him rotten. He wouldâve told him bedtime stories every night, he wouldâve carried him on his shoulders every day, he wouldâve even made him his own little Chenqing to chew on.
It was absurd to be thinking such things when A-Yuan wasnât even his own son. He couldnât explain it, not even to himself, but the love he felt for the boy was so strong, so unconditional, that mentally calling himself his father almost felt natural- but it only made this moment hurt all the more.
Though A-Yuan was clearly scared and unsure, he wanted to help Wei Wuxian, and he believed him when he said heâd return for him. That lie was what made him agree. âI promise.â
I shouldâve watched you grow up. The thought pierced Wei Wuxianâs heart as he instantly gathered A-Yuan in his arms and kissed his forehead.Â
I shouldâve raised you. He forced himself to place A-Yuan back inside the trunk and kissed his little hands, his cheeks, his nose.Â
He never wanted to forget this child, nor did he ever want to be forgotten by him. He never wanted to forget the love A-Yuan had caused to bloom within him, amidst the rage and hatred. I shouldâve done better.Â
The heat was unbearable now, as were the screams ringing through the air. Wei Wuxian could only hope A-Yuan stayed true to his word as he closed his robes up tighter.
âIâll be back,â he lied again, though he hoped against hope that it wouldnât need to be a lie, âand we can go find you some new toys, okay?â
âIâll wait,â A-Yuan nodded sleepily, the commotion having exhausted him. âUntil everything is quiet...â
Wei Wuxian leaned forward to give A-Yuanâs forehead one last kiss. He pulled back after feeling a tiny hand to his cheek; if he stayed any longer, heâd never leave, and all would have been for nothing.Â
He walked away from the ashen tree, with his broken heart buried deep in his stomach, and never returned.Â