#tiny thoughts

Do you ever wonder what happens after the movie-version of American dorm life ends? After the closing credits roll with everyone singing around a bonfire, and you kind of wish you got to experience that too? Well, I took the gig — and coming back felt like a strange punishment. Life suddenly slowed to 0.5x speed, and everything at home was exactly the same as I left it. I left as a boring, tightly-wound introvert and came back with more love to give and more stories than I knew what to do with. Except no one to tell them to, because everyone here treat me like the person I was at the pause I had left my book open at. And most days I don't know how to explain what changed.

I didn’t become a butterfly, like the cliché says. I was more like a flying ant — someone who lived underground for years and suddenly got to see the sky. I got to fly and oh so close to the light for a brief, golden era of my life. I found friends so full of life that time stopped having any meaning around them.

And now that chapter is over. My wings have fallen off, we’ve all gone our separate ways, and I miss them so deeply. Here, in the other corner of the world, I sit and replay everything. I know I didn’t show how much I appreciated them when I had the chance. It’s apparently easier to say these things to strangers online (eyeroll). I left a piece of my heart with all of them, and I know I have adopted pieces of them. Those pieces are helping me grow into someone better, and I’ll eventually treat them as parts of myself.

Maybe in a few months it won’t sting as much, and life won’t feel this slow and colorless. Even without wings, I know what the light feels like now — and I’m grateful I even got to see it.

I don’t know why I’m writing this, tbh. I just feel like people don’t always realize how special their friendships are while they’re still in them. A lot of us don’t realize we’re living our golden era until it’s already a memory. I’m just glad I knew it as it was happening and savored every second of it. And I want people to know that just because someone doesn’t express gratitude to your face doesn’t mean they aren’t insanely thankful for you, praying for you, and hoping life deals you the best cards.

Entry 5: Personalities: Part 3

I've been traveling for quite a while now. I've come across several types of people who treat tinies like myself very differently. Some I liked, some I didn't, and some I feared for my life. Here's my take on those personalities, oh non-existent reader. I'll preface my observations by saying these are general things I've noticed. These are not the whole point of view or views on mixed personalities.

Toy Owner & Sellers/Renters:

This one feels different to explain as all the details I've gotten are second hand.

The best way I can describe it is that they collect tinies for status.

Some may even collect tinies to sell or rent to other giant(esses).

They may keep them in a large tank or cage and have them trained to do certain tasks.

Will often refer to tinies as numbers or toys.

If they are lucky, the tinies will get some form of clothing.

Most of time this isn’t the case.

Most sellers and renters make use of their stock in slow times to keep up their tinies training.

Accounts from others say being a product feels worse than being found in the wild.

Rumors have been spread around that some sellers tie tinies to string and sell them as undergarments, but that is yet unconfirmed.

Entry 5: Finding The Shrinking Source.

So I've been a tiny for quite a while now, and I'd like to think I've gotten a good handle on it. I knew what giants to talk to and who to avoid. I can scavenge for food in the wild and in buildings while almost remaining undetected. I've even made a few friends across the size spectrum. One subject of topic all my fellow tinies choose to ignore was how they became tinies. Apparently it's a sensitive subject for a majority of tinies.

I was feeling determined to find out if I could return to normal size so I decided to look into it. When I told my fellow tiny friends, they said it'd be in vain. That countless tinies wanted to learn the truth never returned. So I asked them how do they know they just grew in size and returned to a normal life? They didn't have an answer for that either. After none of them couls convince me to stop, they let me go out on my search journey.

Once I was on my own again, I realized I would need some help. I definitely wasn't going to get help from other tinies and I didn't know who to trust among the giants and giantesses. Then a thought clicked in the back of my head. Ann said I would be welcomed back any time. Surely the giantess who helped me from before would be open to helping me now. Plus, some of my gear has been getting a bit worn. If the map I've been making is of any help, I should be back at her house in no time.