-I was in the army with a bloke who tried to top himself once. -How'd he do it? -Well, after a great deal of thought he settled on hanging. -Hanging. -Mm. He found a tree with a branch that stretched right out above the sea. -Spectacular. -And to save himself pain he took an overdose of pills. -He wasn't leaving anything to chance, was he? -Just to make trebly sure, he decided to shoot himself. -Well, what happened? -Well, he slipped the noose around his neck, cocked the pistol, swallowed the pills and stepped down over the cliff. -And? -Well, the jerk of the rope ruined his aim. The bullet missed his head, cut the rope in half, he dropped like a stone into the sea, swallowed so much saltwater that he vomited up the pills and swam back to shore, a better and a wiser man. Last I heard, he was growing chrysanths in Yarmouth.
