#time squared

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Not now, Doctor. Please. I already foresee talking about “The Naked Now” quite a lot over the next couple of weeks because everyone’s character ends up exaggerated by the polywater syndrome. And Picard is no exception. We do admit that it is good of him to fight his intoxication and also Bev’s advances, and it also gives us that little horny chuckle and skip that are just so endearing.

Prove to the court that I am sentient Picard becomes known throughout the series for his excellent ethical and philosophical speeches, and the first really big one comes in “The Measure of a Man” and it’s a doozy. It’s no small feat determining sentience (really, sapience) of a being, and Picard standing up to Bruce Maddox to fight for Data’s rights is something to take pride in and aspire to.

The time cops would be proud Picard’s relationship with Guinan is intriguing throughout all of TNG, and his trust in her abilities is enough for him to believe that it is best to send the Enterprise-C back to their rightful place in history in “Yesterday’s Enterprise.” As his alternate-timeline ship is crashing down around him and his crew is dying all over the bridge, he heroically gives the C their best shot.

Sarek <3 Spock In our Top 5 TNG Episodes list, “Sarek” ended up being the only episode that made all four of your hosts’ lists. And for good reason! Picard compassionately helps Sarek through a bout of Bendii syndrome by mindmelding with him so he can get back to his ambassadorial work, and we end up with some of the best Patrick Stewart acting in the whole show for it!

Bedtime for Borgo Picard has a rough time throughout all of “The Best of Both Worlds,” spending most of the two-parter as Locutus, as you’ll see in just a moment. But at the end of Part II, he’s able to fight through the Borg programming just enough to give Data the one-word cue “Sleep,” which turns out to be the undoing of the Borg in that Battle of Wolf-359.

Mev yap! I’m always a big fan of watching Picard speaking Klingon in their ceremonies. It shows how seriously he takes their customs. And in “Reunion,” when he breaks out the ja’chuq while arbitrating the Rite of Succession and also looking into K’mpec’s murder, it’s so ballsy that you’ve got to respect the guy. Or, at least anyone who isn’t as dishonorable as Duras has got to respect the guy.

With the first link, the chain is forged Yet another in a long line of great Picard speeches comes in “The Drumhead.” Admiral Satie gets more and more power hungry to convict people throughout her Red Scare hearings, even through unscrupulous means. Picard rightly puts her in her place by throwing the just words of her own father in her face. No wonder she’s on Jake’s Evil Admirals listicle.

Sokath, his eyes uncovered! Picard befriending Captain Dathon in “Darmok” is so Picardy that I’m swapping it in for that great line from “Peak Performance” I mentioned on the podcast (which is still great, but the screengrab was more boring). And I’m just so impressed with Picard’s patience in learning the seemingly nonsensical Tamarian language and his willingness to trust another being who just wants to communicate with him.

Resistance is not futile While it could be debated that this moment be prime fodder for Picard’s Worst Moments list for not getting rid of the Borg when he had the chance in “I, Borg,” we’ve got to admit it’s such a good moment for Picard to connect with Hugh and save his life. After having been forced into the role of Locutus, Picard has got to feel some small triumph that he didn’t commit genocide this day.

There! Are! Four! Lights!  More absolutely stellar Patrick Stewart acting comes in “Chain of Command, Part II.” Say what you will about Part I (Picard had no reason to be on this mission, there, I said it), watching Picard retain his humanity and resolution while being tortured by Gul Madred is riveting stuff. And no matter how many times I see it, I get goosebumps at his “four lights” defiance every time.

Yippee-ki-yay Here’s another kinda late addition to this list but how can one not include all the sabotaging of the ship he does in “Starship Mine”? It’s clear that Picard knows his ship like the back of his hand (the one that wasn’t briefly a Borg hand, more likely) when you watch him outsmart a bunch of terrorists as he John McClanes all over the Enterprise-D.

How many people does it take, Admiral, before it becomes wrong? Insurrection may not be anyone’s favorite of the Star Trek movies (here’s ours, for reference!), but Picard’s ethical debate feels so immensely right. Between standing up to Dougherty (another evil admiral!), to fighting for the rights of the Ba’ku, to his great line to Gallatin, “I’m not pleading for my life; I’m pleading for yours,” this is the most Picard has ever Picarded. Period.

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Worst moments

Shut up, Wesley While we were tempted to also include this moment in our Best Moments list, it’s true that no matter how obnoxious Wesley is being (and he so often is; just wait until our Wesley spotlight), it’s never right to tell him to shut up. Even less so when he is literally the only member of the crew who is actually giving you pertinent information to save the day, as he was in “Datalore.”

Breaking the cycle Since we first watched it, we’ve been simply perplexed by “Time Squared.” There’s a reason it made so many of our Worst Time Travel Episode lists. Picard, at an entire loss for ideas, decides to kill the other him who’s been bonking around to see if that stops the time loops, and then leaves the corpse there for Pulaski to find without telling anyone which him it is! WTF?

I don't know if I want to be Eve I’ve also got to give Picard some guff for making the Bringloidi breeding stock for the Mariposans in “Up the Long Ladder.” Brenna even chastises Picard in the final scene for deciding this with only the male leaders of each society without consulting the women, who will have to basically become baby incubators, and even more annoyingly, she ends up being into it!

Resistance IS futile! While we can’t exactly blame Picard himself for being turned into Locutus in “The Best of Both Worlds,” resulting in huge losses for the Federation, we do have to admit it’s one of his lowest points as a human being. There’s a reason why Picard actually needs to take a mental health vacation in “Family,” something we tended to never see in Star Trek of that era.

Another orphan for the Rozhenkos You could tell by the look on Picard’s face after he accidentally killed Junior’s mother in “Galaxy’s Child” that he knows he screwed up. Couldn’t they have just left her alone in space instead of provoking her to attack them and then finding it necessary to shoot her dead? And now poor Junior has to be raised by his asshole aunts and uncles, thank you very much.

Now now now now! I mean, we were bound to dislike “Rascals” regardless because of its terrible child actors and obnoxious plot, but when you think about it, Picard was also entirely out of character. And it’s not just because he was supposed to be prepubescent: it was because he suddenly couldn’t lead his crew, and being smaller and whinier is no excuse for ignoring all his past experiences!

Mystery solved: Picard did it! If we picked on Kirk back in one of our earlier character spotlights for never checking in on Khan when he marooned him on Ceti Alpha V, then you’re damn right we’re going to pick on Picard for not checking in on Moriarty between “Elementary, Dear Data” and “Ship in a Bottle.” In that time, the holographic mastermind got rightly impatient and took matters into his own hands.

Play dom-jot, human “Tapestry” portrays how brash and short-sighted and tail-chasing Picard was in his years at Starfleet Academy, and how his willingness to get into scrapes got him into a fight with Nausicaans that really should have killed him if it weren’t for future technology. Thank the Continuum for JL’s artificial heart that allowed him to become the man we saw him become.

So it was gik'tal after all While we get that Sito Jaxa had a lot to atone for after the incident in “The First Duty,” we are still uncomfortable with how much Jean-Luc guilted her into going on the very dangerous mission that got her killed in “Lower Decks.” Picard definitely abused his power over her in this instance because he knew how badly she wanted to save face and he exploited it.

Kill the Dorvan V native, save the man Indeed, one of the worst decisions we see Picard make is when he just acts on Necheyev’s orders (hey, another of Jake’s Evil Admirals!) like a little sheep and coordinates moving the inhabitants of Dorvan V in “Journey’s End.” It’s shameful to watch Picard go the route of the Trail of Tears, and then only come around when he’s shown who his ancestor was. 

I think it’s time to try some unsafe velocities We talk a lot about how the Prime Directive isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, but that’s still no excuse for all the dunebuggying antics Picard performed in Nemesis. Especially in front of all the natives of the planet (or what we assumed were natives). What a pathetic scene in a pathetic movie. It’s so clear they just wanted to race around in an ATV for a little excitement, but it was absolutely stupid and out of character.

The triumph of the echo over the voice Fittingly, we have even more Nemesis moments to lament since it was such a detestable movie. All movie long, I don’t understand why Picard is so conflicted about the clone situation, as if Shinzon is literally Picard himself and it would reflect poorly on him somehow. That’s not how clones work, dude! There’s no saving this asshole. And unrelatedly, but here we are: stop ordering Worf to go naked to the wedding on Betazed; that’s just gross!!!

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