#timbrr rambles

Unless instead of a feature that tumblr had and killed that was a feature that came from an extension. But I'm pretty sure it was the former.

Honestly it's just another point of annoyance in an increasingly visual (and specifically video-centric) social internet, when half the time what I really want to see are posts by people digging deep into their thoughts on things. It's like, the reason I like video essays is for the essays, not the video. Though the video can make the essay more digestible (to me specifically but also to people in general, sure). But honestly, especially with my Kobo that can pull articles down from Pocket Instapaper, I've lowkey been wanting to source more written essays rather than video essays, but still on similar topics. Might be a bit of a fool's errand there because some of the video essays I tend to enjoy work well in that medium in part /because/ they are videos. Like the ones that analyze movies or video games, and use footage therein as they do so.

And as much as I rail against it, I can't deny that the whole reason visually interesting media is taking over is /because/ it's eyecatching, /because/ it grabs and holds attention. It takes focus to read words on a page. You might just zone out to a video if you're not that interested, but bright and colorful and motion still keep you engaged. And now that internet speeds and bandwidth can (generally speaking) support it, it's off to the races. And then tiktok hit and it all really went to hell with algorithms and endlessly scrolling the skinner boxes.

That's not entirely true. I did make time to /finally/ watch Sinners (good movie, worth the watch) the other night. And there's still time tonight so I'll probably also watch something else. Practical Magic maybe? Maybe even a third thing.

Games are probably out though. I miiight try to speed through Costume Quest 2, since that was always gonna be one I tried to play close to Halloween proper, but honestly I'll probably just save it for next year, along with maybe a couple of movies. BUT, probably some of my plans I can just kind of shunt over to November (since that's kind of a spillover month where it mixes Halloween vibes with Christmas vibes for me anyway).

I think part (a lot?) of the issue is also just cognitive load that's been hanging over my head because of a thing I need to do that I sure haven't gotten done over the last several weeks. Bluh.

Also doesn't help that I keep distracting myself with completely unrelated stuff, like looking up mods for a planned Forever World type dealie in Minecraft that I want to start to work on (I'll probably make a separate post about that) and I've been digging through rom hacks and stuff to play on my PSP that don't have retroachievements (or are the type of game that playing them on one device wouldn't detract from playing them on another device, so I could play them later with retroachievements available if I wanted).

Honestly the only reason I'm even really thinking about it is because when I was a kid one of the FIRST Superman media that I remember interacting with (maybe period, outside of The Animated Series) was a novelization of the Death of Superman storyline. /Why/ I was aware of that storyline, and /why/ I found it at my library not as a comic or collection or omnibus but as a novelization I may never know. I don't even think I was aware that it /was/ a comic. I think I thought it was an original Superman story as a book. So I read it as a book! And I have vivid memories of reading it, as a book. I'm pretty sure I eventually reread the saga in its comic form, /years/ later.

But I am curious about getting more things like that in novelization form tbh. Especially if I can get said novelization in a format that actually plays well with my Kobo. And it's not a bad way to get through the media. Because all adaptations have their pros and cons. And comics to books lose a lot of visuals but give you a lot more space for details (in some ways). And vice versa. Same with movies or tv shows, except that you also add in sound as an entire dimension to consider.

And it's almost funny because just a day or two ago I was considering if it would be worth it to rock a tablet in the daily driver role instead of a laptop (which could be a desktop computer instead but the way my room is laid out really isn't conducive to that, which is why my Steam Deck hooked up to the tv isn't the permanent solution, though it is an excellent stopgap). But I've used a Chromebook before and in some ways a tablet would be even more limited than /that/, and even a Chromebook I'd have to think long and hard before going back to.

Like I even still have my old Chromebook (though it too is showing its age) that I could flip Linux onto and probably replace the battery on and maybe even upgrade the storage (maybe? I'd have to look into if that's at all feasible) but there's a reason I haven't actually sat down to do that despite threatening it for years (namely, [extremely Scott Pilgrim voice] it's haaaaaaaard. Or maybe it's less that it's hard and more that I'm just very inexperienced and worried I'm gonna h*ck something up.)

I've been pondering getting an older M1 or M2 Macbook Air for the solid battery life and build quality (this time I would promise to be very careful and not pour an almost full mug of hot chocolate on it) but even one that's older like that is still 'spensive. And a Mac Mini of that ilk /would/ be a solid option but then we run into the same situation where a desktop is not the play for my current situation.

I don't expect that I'd take that route in the future either (though who can say what tomorrow holds for sure anyway?). I do still hold the faith (in a loose grip, but a grip nonetheless) but I've definitely picked up some issues with the Religion over the years. And it's not like I'm a pure soul over here either.

Anyway, kind of a tangent off of the post that got me thinking about having some kind of aura.

It /would/ be neat to be able to pull up an aura of heat and pressure from anger. Or calm and soothing from compassion. But for better or worse it seems like what I have is something that lets people open up to me. And as much as I constantly wish I had powers of both human and superhuman kinds, I should really be aware of the powers I do have, and figure out how to best use them.

Which stings even more when I see super successful novels/series that started as fanfic, and any deviation was actually a benefit rather than a problem.

Like. I could've had that. I could've had a ton more practice writing, I could've been bonding with friends over it, I could've been much further along in my writing journey by now.

But that's true of many areas of my life. So perhaps instead of whining about what I didn't do at points in my life up to and including, y'know, today, I should actually start doing those things.

In hindsight, a lot of it was self-hypnosis (or regular hypnosis) techniques alongside a lot of confirmation bias and either a healthy dose of imagination or hallucination. Not that I'm a complete skeptic re: psychic phenomenon but certainly when it comes to some things.

Anyway, all that to say that one of the things that I /do/ remember working was that I did one of the exercises to set an internal alarm clock so that you can wake up without needing to necessarily set an alarm. When I did it, I woke up within like 5-10 minutes of my goal wakeup time. I think I tried it again and was less successful. And then I kind of adhd'd my way away from that book and the stuff in it, and didn't really think about it. The reason I bring this up is because something like 4 of the last 5 times I've set an alarm within the last week or so (and I think it's happened other times I've set an alarm in recent memory, I just use alarms so sporadically I wasn't keeping track or noticing) I woke up before my alarm anyway.