That part where Kakashi meticulously peels the orange and then gets all of the extra pith and white stringy bits... He does all of that just to put the orange back together and basically eat it whole or in perhaps two bites depending on the size of the orange and who he's with. One second he's performing surgery on it and the next it's totally gone.
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What has your muse been trying to heal from — and how far have they come?
zabuza is healing from loving a country that only saw him as a tool. a demon, a mongrel, disposable. he's healing from letting that country he loves so much make him believe he was nothing better than a tool, while he fought tooth and nail to make it better.
he has a kind of love in his heart that he doesn't understand. he grew up during the bloody mist, where value was only seen in power. skill. how you could contribute to making kiri untouchable. all zabuza knows is blood, but he loves his village; he's not just loyal to it, he loves it enough to want to fix what he feels is broken. to do this, he has to redirect the power, except the only way he knows how to do that is through brute force. he is the unhealed product of his environment, attempting to make change with nothing but a love he doesn't know what to do with.
realizing that he is human, that he doesn't want any of this at the cost of haku's life, that he actually wants to see the future he dreams of for kiri is as daunting as it is invigorating. learning the truth of the bloody mist and the involvement of madara is even worse, because while that problem can be dealt with, kiri is still left with the aftermath of it. with people who believe that the bloody mist was the righteous way for the land and won't quit in trying to bring it back, and the outsiders that will only see violence instead of a rich, strong culture.
he's allowing himself to believe in his worth as a human being with feelings, and allowing himself to form genuine connections, while also still maintaining who he is at his very core. this, for him, is healing. his desires for revolution in kiri aren't any different, but his outlook on life— and why he's doing this— are no longer governed by obligation. he's allowing himself to be run by his emotions for once, using both his brain and heart to rid his home of its rot without destroying its roots.
✅ : what do they pretend to have together that they don't?
aratachi pretends that he's got everything under control when he and kokuō are hiding from iwa and the akatsuki. he has a bit of money with him that he'd managed to take, but it only lasts him so long. it's even harder to get things when he's doing his best not to be noticed with features that are entirely too recognizable. he's homeless and has no money for nearly three years but always acts as if it isn't directly affecting him, and he definitely doesn't think about anything he had to do to survive once he's in konoha.
🕰️ : what time do they naturally wake up when no one needs them?
on a day off, aratachi can sleep in pretty late depending on how late he was up the previous night. more often than not his internal battery is set to somewhere between 10-11am, which is around the time kokuō starts nudging him awake anyways. he typically won't sleep in past noon, but when no one needs him, he refuses to wake up before 9am.
📉 : what's their most common self-criticism?
when aratachi doesn't understand something immediately, he's pretty harsh with himself about it. he holds resentment towards himself for being known for his intelligence, yet failing to see what was going on right under his nose back home and being oblivious to the fact that he was nothing more than a pawn. not being able to comprehend a topic or idea brings him back to specifically how small and stupid he always felt when he got things wrong growing up, and often without meaning to he ends up echoing a lot of sentiments towards himself that come directly from his father.
yasu picks up a ton of really mundane, domestic hobbies once they're out of root. some of those include avid bird watching, sewing, knitting, crochet, collecting/making figurines, reading (anything that isn't a goddamn anatomy textbook), drawing (badly, they do art therapy with sai post war), and cooking.
they're an acts of service kind of person, so the people they consider friends are constantly getting gifts, or meals prepped for them, or having their clothes fixed up.
whilst i am working on making a decent carrd, i've compiled some tidbits of characterisation for sasha that are key to this blog. i've mostly salvaged and spurced up bits from my old blog. ✨
i'm exclusively book-based in terms of the darkling's backstory, motifs, mannerisms, etc. i might figure out a proper show-adjacent verse at some point, though of course, i am willing to interact with show-based muses. we can figure it out.
on that note, some show-verse adjustments: (a) he goes by the darkling moniker, having a more 'normal' name as he does in the show undermines the fear he wishes to instil, nor does he reveal his name to alina that early on. (b) he's nowhere near as outwardly emotional as portrayed, especially in s2; the darkling's cold facade is carved like a statue, he appears perpetually bored & unamused, and very rarely can someone get a rise from him.
the darkling is, obviously, a villain. that said, it doesn't sit right with me when everything he has fought tooth and nail to achieve (a sanctuary for grisha, limiting their prosecution on ravkan territory, his military achievements for the ravkan war effort) and his aspirations for grisha liberation are entirely overlooked. the darkling is a revolutionary for the grisha, actively fighting against a corrupt monarchy. his means are extreme and highly immoral, but he does not view it that way.
i portray the darkling as agender! he uses he / they pronouns; doesn't strictly identify with the gender binary, but presents as masculine for convenience's sake at court and within the military.
on the topic of court and military; the darkling is a prominent if rather mysterious & uncanny figure at the ravkan court, an omen of sorts that lingers behind the throne. most of the nobility is not endeared towards him, but he is highly revered among the armies, even if it's done so begrudgingly.
the main thematic arc explored here is moral degradation as visually portrayed through his physical deterioration. towards s&s and especially after, his eyes are fogged, his eyesight is impaired with shadows dancing in his peripheral; his blood is darkening, and his teeth are notably sharper, all the behest of merzost.
i play around with his shadow-summoning abilities a lot, because they're not as developed as i feel they could've been, narrative-wise. notably, his shadows thrum with a certain degree of living matter after his extensive use of merzost. they obey him like dogs.
he hates industrialization with a passion. keep your machines and fancy rifles away from him, thank you <3 at his core, he is a hater.
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thinking about sakura's Marvelous Nomadic Adventures™️ and the sorts of things she would see/learn/get into:
smaller villages/towns tend to be a lot more friendly than larger villages, but can also be a lot more distrustful. main villages are more technologically advanced and have much more protection, so their distrust (as she's learning) tends to be a lot more superficial. sakura's had people spit at her feet because they can simply smell the shinobi on her
sometimes people care less about her medical knowledge and want her to help in other ways such as: using her mokuton to build/fix things, teaching people self-defense, babysitting their children. she begins negotiating to help people in exchange for them letting her teach them about the body and medicine and chakra energies.
she's seen as a god every now and again. people think she's performing miracles or will see her sage form and put her up on a pedastal, which she then has to try and avoid bc yknow. it's the complete opposite of her goal here. people can be kind but also very obsessive.
children are either afraid of her slugs or try and eat them, which. hm. okay. not an issue sakura would think she'd have, but here she is.
wild animals keep stealing her damn sandwiches.
cryptids like nature energy, especially when you have it in abundance, and man, they are ruthless. being dragged by an ankle through the woods and then waking up in the desert is Not the definition of a chill saturday afternoon.
little old ladies keep blessing her and she doesn't know what it means but she's pretty sure they're adding years to her life. or possibly cursing her. who knows.
the sky is bright and clear, clouds flowing and changing shape slowly. the air is warm, the tiniest hint of a breeze, and when gai turns his head both left and right, there isn't a single building in sight. just soft grass and dandelions as far as the eye can see.
gai groans softly as he lifts a hand to his head, and despite the fact that he doesn’t feel any pain, it feels like there should be pain. he simply holds said hand to his forehead and pushes himself into a sitting position, and the next thing he registers is how wrong his body feels. like it's too small. when he looks down at his other hand, there are a lot less scars than he remembers having. blinking rapidly to get used to the sunlight, gai rolls himself over, scrambling to his feet and spotting a pond in the distance that he practically teleports to.
looking into the water, gai is met with a reflection far younger than it should be. it's jarring, seeing himself so young, and he touches his face to watch his reflection mirror the action. "this has to be a dream," he breathes, at the same time a soft sight of contentment echoes through the field.
turning slowly, gai spots a body in the distance. it's too far to make out, but there doesn't seem to be anyone beside the two of them, so gai walks towards it, noting how the pseudo-pounding in his head stops the closer he gets. this field doesn't look familiar, doesn't feel familiar, but that thought becomes unimportant when the figure becomes visible.
gai's steps falter as he looks upon the sleeping face of his father.
dai is bathing in the sunlight like he used to when gai was younger. taking in the earth's energy, he used to say, enjoying the air i get to breathe. gai hadn't particularly understood what was so great about it, but he liked laying in the grass beside his father, sprawling out like a starfish and falling asleep only to wake up in his bed with the smell of dinner beckoning him forward.
his stomach goes hollow, and he raises his hand with a choked call of papa, but gai's fingers collide with what feels like a force field. he pushes against it, first with his hands and then his shoulder when it doesn’t give, and gai can feel the desperation clawing his throat. he trembles, frantic, calling out again and again for a man that can't hear him, can't see him, can't—
a gentle hand falls upon his shoulder, and when gai whips around, his body feels right again. one glance down tells him that he's in the correct form, can feel the breeze against the nape of his neck where his hair has shortened. swallowing thickly, gai focuses his gaze on the person standing before him, and his lips part with a dizzying breath.
"mother...?"
she's beautiful, hair pulled into a neat bun, a wickedness in her bright eyes, and gai's never remembered much about his mother beyond the soothing sound of her voice, but he knows this woman. knows this is her.
"my, how you've grown," she says, stepping closer, reaching a hand up to cup gai's cheek, smile impossibly wide across her mouth, "my little beast."
gai feels the tears welling in his eyes, and just like that, it all comes rushing back to him. the war, uchiha madara, fighting alongside the fourth hokage and his eternal rival and his darling pupil and.
opening gate after gate until the fire of the red beast licked at his skin. his hand trembles when he lifts it up to grip his mother's wrist, and his head turns slightly, seeking out his father among the grass.
"i — i can't, it won't — i can't get closer to him. he can't hear me," gai chokes, pressing her hand almost harshly against his face, and she strokes away the tears that fall from his eyes with her thumb regardless of his grip.
"shh," she soothes, "save your tears, sweetheart. it isn't your time."
gai's breath pauses, throat clicking with the way he swallows, and she gives him enough room to turn and look at dai once more. he hasn't moved, still soaking in the sun's rays, and the smile on his face is... pure. happy. carefree. "what do you mean?"
his mother gives a soft laugh, standing beside gai and resting her head against his shoulder. "he can't hear you because it isn't your time, yet." she says it like it makes perfect sense, like she doesn't know that gai opened the eighth gate, and his brow furrows as he tries to once again reach out for his father. the resistance is the same.
"i don't understand..." he begins, wiping his face and attempting to calm his breathing. "i... i'm dead, right? i did what papa did and this is — this is where we reunite, isn’t it?"
she hums softly, and it fills gai with the same warmth it does whenever he thinks about the songs his mother used to sing to him. "in time, little beast. we've waited a long time. we can wait a little longer for you."
gai can't help the way his lips tug down, the way he wants to cry all over again, and he shakes his head slightly. "i don't want you to wait. i'm here, now. i want to be here with you, with him—"
"—and you will be, one day. just not today. your family needs you," she says, reaching for his hand to hold close to her chest.
"you are my family," he tries, but the argument is weak even to himself, because gai knows exactly what she means.
"and we always will be, but your living family needs you. you and your big, brave, selfless heart. just like his," she says, gesturing with her chin towards dai, whose hands move gently over the grass beneath him. "when the time is truly right, come talk to me again. i've missed you."
with that, she steps away from gai, not letting go of his hand until the last second, and as much as he wants to, gai doesn't allow himself to cling. doesn't let himself pull her back or demand to go with her as she slips easily past whatever wall separates him from them. gai watches her settle down beside her husband, watches her lean over him and press a kiss to his nose. he watches dai give a sleepy, sluggish smile and he watches his lips form around an i love you.
when gai blinks his eyes open again, he's in a hospital with his students sleeping on his chest.