#thyrza

thyrza

See thyrza’s existing works here.

Preferred contact methods: Twitter - @thyrza_writes

Preferred organizations:

Anything from the list of approved organizations

Will create works that contain:

Canon-divergent AUs, fluffy tropes, smut

Will not create works that contain:

Graphic violence, non-con/dub-con, torture porn

-- Fic or other writing --

Auction ID: 314

Will create works for the following relationships:

1. Steve Rogers/Tony Stark (MCU, Noir, Ultimates, 3490, Avengers Assemble, or AUs) 2. Clint Barton/Phil Coulson (Avengers Assemble/Ultimate Spider-Man, or AUs) 3. Teddy Altman/Billy Kaplan (616, or AUs) 4. Avengers Assemble gen - ships negotiable

Work Description:

One story of at least 5,000 words according to the winning bidder's preferences (trope, prompt, remix as available, etc).

Ratings: G, Teen, Mature, Explicit

CLICK HERE TO BID ON THIS WORK

I saw this pop up on my FB feed and was like, "NOOOOOOO~"

[2 miserable people meeting at a wedding]

The Chicken Dance came on, and Tony thought, there is not enough alcohol in the WORLD for this.

"There is not enough alcohol in the world for this," Natasha said, rolling her eyes. "Get me another one." 

Tony scowled at her. "Excuse me, is your leg broken? Get your own." 

Natasha scowled right back. "Don't make me show you the giant blister from these horrible dye-to-matches. Just bring me another vodka gimlet. and no one gets hurt." 

Grumbling, Tony headed for the bar, cursing Pepper eight ways from Sunday for her stupid "leadership seminar" that left her best friend and her girlfriend as each other's plus-ones for Maria's wedding. He and Hill didn't even LIKE each other, so why was he here drinking lousy well drinks in a tacky ballroom in Queens listening to the goddamn Chicken Dance?  Waiting in the throng and cursing the tall rowdy cheerful crowd of cops and ex-Marines that were blocking his way to sweet oblivion,  he heard a low, sharp, intense voice from the corner,  "I can't get drunk." And of course he had to look, because who in hell came to a wedding reception intending to stay sober? It was unnatural. 

"Steve," a soft English voice replied and he homed in on an almost supernaturally attractive couple wedged into a corner with a table, a bottle of champagne sitting on it and oh shit, that was the best man, and god did he look like it, even with that someone-shot-his-dog look on his face. "Steve, it wasn't your fault." 

"Of course it was. I wasn't paying attention or I'd have realized he was screwing around with me. I thought he was DEAD, not in Trenton!" 

"Look, stop blaming yourself and try to have a good time, please? There are any number of eligible men here--" 

"Oh god, please do not fix me up. That is the last thing I need." 

"Plenty of ineligible then, that would still be a bloody good shag and that's fine too, nobody's asking you to catch the bouquet. Just please stop mourning before Sam notices and deserts his bride to patch you up, it'll be better for both of you."  She kissed him on the cheek and headed in the direction of the head table, presumably to run interference. 

Looking at that profile, perfect even pouting, the big hands restlessly toying with the flute in front of him, Tony stopped even pretending to resist. It was a goddamn public service, really, the best man should be MUCH drunker before he started crying. He snagged his drinks, headed back to the table, and set Natasha's down in front of him. "Hi. Is the Chicken Dance driving you to suicide too?" 

A reluctant smile surfaced at that. "I--sorry, I was just thinking about something else." 

"You were thinking about the relentless lack of Tony Stark in your life. I can help. It's curable."  He indicated the glass. "Drink up, and we can go bribe the DJ to play something humans can dance to." 

"I...I don't really know how to dance."  He was going charmingly red, in that interested-and-easily-flustered way. 

I can keep my car clean in winter, but in summer, cut grass gets tracked into it way too easily. :/

Yep. Cut grass and dog hair are my worst two offenders. I think I got it all, only to be proven wrong later that very same day.

the-jeneral replied to your post “Why is it that whenever I clean out my car, within minutes it looks...”

Yep. Mine fills up with the junk mail I toss in the back seat at an alarming rate.

You mean there's another place to put that stuff? 

humantrampoline85 replied to your post “Why is it that whenever I clean out my car, within minutes it looks...”

I suffer from the same problem. It's a mystery.