#thy talks

Work has been busy and tiring, but I'm still doing okay!! I had to do two closing shifts without being trained for them bc someone dropped them I guesss? I don't have any funny work stories yet, there have been nice customers, rude ones, inbetween ones. The place I work is part bakery, and one time a man seemed Genuinely Upset that we couldn't put cream cheese on his bagle. We can't cause safety issues, but we give you a little tub instead. It has literally always been this way????? Idk it seemed very silly to me in the moment. I did meet a cute little boy with a lobster toy, I don't remember the lobsters name but I'm sure it was important cause the kid wanted to show off his lobster and how could I say no? Before he and his family left the dad came back around and told me "god bless your soul that was the nicest thing you did." I was very stunned and awed and it pretty much made my day. So I guess if I have a bad one I have to remember the boy with the lobster and how cure he was.

Sorry for long time no talk guys. I started to go on a mini vaca to my Aunt's house, and while I was there I filled out online forms for a job and now I have one??? Like I got this job within 24 hours like holy shit. So I've been busy past couple of days. That's also part of why I haven't posted a new chapter or talked or anything. It's not that I don't want to, it's been me going about being an adult and being busy and tired. I am very excited about this job and I'm happy uo be doing it, to be doing something but ... fuck I know it's almost useless to vent here, I know I should march downstairs and talk to dad about my feelings cause he's putting a major damper on them, probably without realizing it. I'm up in my room on my phone, and chances are he won't see this cause he doesn't check my tumblr I don't think but ... God it's like every time I find a new passion, a new person to love (platonic or romantic), think about starting a new career he always has multiple negative comments about it ... it's not fucking fair it's like every singe time I get happy about something he does this. And maybe he's trying to prevent me from getting hurt by being a pessimist. But it just feels like I can't enjoy these sorts of thiga, or anything. I'm supposed to be resting now, that's why I'm in bed for a bit but I can't help but think and wonder and be sad ... why won't he let me have this? Why won't he let me show my concern for his health? I don't understand. I want to understand but he won't talk. Lots of people say don't listen to those who bring you down but he's my father and I love him. I want him to be happy, be healthy. So why is he not letting me be?

my stomach is Very Upset with me for having two coffees today ( I don’t normally drink coffee, ever bc health reasons).  i had one this morning bc i didn’t sleep well and i wanted to be awake for my job meeting thing.  and we met at a coffee place so it was kind only polie to get some coffee (which i spilled on myself twice lmao, once on the white shawl and one on my green skirt) so now im going to go lay down and hope my tummy stops hating me