#thwiamber

Dale: Ah, the great outdoors!

James: How did my guitar get here? I didn’t bring it.

Dale: Ooh, mysterious. Maybe Bigfoot did it. Now I guess we’ll all have to listen to your wailin’. Bummer.

James: (grumbles) I hate you....

Amber: Does that mean I get to hear you play again? Thanks, Bigfoot!

Amber: Dale’s not imagining things. He-- damn it! There’s not enough time for this. Do you trust me?

James: [hesitant] Yes... Amber, what’s going on?

Amber: After we find Cora, I swear to you that I will explain everything. For now, you get the summary. Magic is real. There’s an entire supernatural world that I assume you know nothing about. You know how you like to joke that I’m weird? That’s why. I’m part of it.

Amber: ...and I’m really sorry I’ve been hiding this from you, but it’s been for your own safety. Now that’s fucked and we need help. Cora’s in the faerie realm now and I have no idea how to get there.

James: Sunshine, what are you--

Amber: Lucius Al-Ibris! I call upon your bond to me! Ugh, why did it have to rhyme?

James: What the fuck is going on? Why was your hand sparkly?

Amber: I’m a mage. Cora was kidnapped by the fey and taken to their realm. I’m going to go get her back, but I have to get you and Dale back to safety first. I don’t think I’d be able to teleport all three of us. And I just summoned someone--honestly I’m not sure what he is--to help me get to the fey realm.

Amber: Aw, shit.

James: What?

Amber: I just realized why the summoning spell didn’t work. Ugh, that asshole. Here, hold Dale while I try again.

Amber: [deep sigh] Lucius, I want your glorious body!

James: [yelling from off-screen] What the fuck?!?

James: I'm not saying I'm the greatest lumberjack of all time, but I need to rethink this whole football thing because I might be the greatest lumberjack of all time.

Amber: Yes, you've nearly managed to singlehandedly decimate this entire forest. Not to change the subject, but don't you think Cora and Dale have been gone a really long time? She stopped answering my texts almost thirty minutes ago.

James: I'm sure they're fine. Probably just lost track of time talking about nerdy shit. I'll call Dale, though, just so we know, okay?

James: He's not answering. I left a voicemail, but he'll never check it. I'll try again.

Amber: She's not answering either. But... it's not going to voicemail. It just rings and rings.

Amber: I think we should go look for them, just in case. I doubt they would have strayed far from the path. I'll send Jack a text so she doesn't worry. Let's get going. And... bring your axe.

James: Sunshine, relax! Reception isn't all that great out here, you know? Dale goes camping and hiking all the time. He's not gonna let them get into any danger.

Amber: I know. But something's wrong. I can feel it. Walk faster!

James: What d'you mean, you can feel it? What are you talking about?

(TEXT MESSAGE)

Amber: Where are you?

Jonah: On the quad under the tree with the lantern thingies, why?

Amber: I have exciting news! I’ll be there in a few minutes.

(END TEXT MESSAGE)

Amber: There you are! How’s your day so far?

Jonah: It’s better now. What’s your exciting news?

Amber: I’m going on my first camping trip! I wanted to see if you’d come with us, and if you’d give me a ride to the store. I don’t have any camping supplies. At all.

Jonah: (laughs) Shocking. Yeah, we can go after dinner tonight, if you want. When’s the camping trip?

Amber: Oh, um, it’s this weekend, actually. It’s a bit last minute, I know. I literally just found out about it.

Jonah: Can’t do it, babe. I won’t be here.

Amber: Why not? It can’t be the full moon already... right?

Jonah: (hesitates) I have to fly out to SolArts this weekend. To interview. They’re considering letting me start in the spring.

Amber: That’s amazing! I know how badly you want to go there. But... isn’t Del Sol Valley all the way across the country?

Jonah: As a matter of fact, it is. And that sucks. But I’ve been dreaming about going there since middle school. Hell, if I’d turned my fucking application in on time back when I was in high school, I’d already be going there by now.

Amber: I’m really happy for you, Jonah, but why am I just now finding out about this? It’s a pretty big deal.

Jonah: I wasn’t hiding it from you. They called and set up the interview time with me over fall break--you know, while you weren’t speaking to me--and then we had so much else going on, I just kind of forgot about it.

Amber: So what do we do now?

Jonah: First, we buy camping supplies for your trip. After that? I guess we have to wait and see what happens. We’ll figure it out as we go. We can pass the time with sex. Lots of sex.

Amber: (laughs) You drive a hard bargain.

Jonah: That’s what she said.

James: Dale told me about Jonah. About him moving, I mean. How are you?

Amber: I’m okay. Actually, I feel like I’m a bit too okay, but maybe it hasn’t quite sunk in.

James: It’s not like you guys are all that serious or anything, though, right? 

Amber: I suppose we’re not, no. But we could have been, you know? Something just keeps getting in the way.

James: ...What?

Amber: I don’t know. Just--everything. Sometimes I wonder if--ooh, look, a shooting star!

James: Did you make a wish?

Amber: I’ve never done that before. My mother told me it was all nonsense. I think she may be right, but I’ll make a wish, just in case.

James: I’m gonna wish for more beer.

Amber: James! Don’t you dare!

James: Fine, fine. What d’you think I should wish for?

Amber: Whatever you want the most, I guess. What do you want?

James: Who did this? Fucking show yourself!

Amber: He’s still alive! Do you see Cora anywhere?

Dale: took... her...

Amber: What? Who took her?

Dale: I--I don’t know. I know it sounds crazy, but they had pointy ears. They were dressed like they were role playin’ or something. 

Amber: P-pointy ears?

Dale: I’m sorry. I tried to stop ‘em. They weren’t even interested in me. They just wanted her and disappeared into thin air.

Amber: This is not your fault, Dale. I mean it. It looks like you did everything you could. More than you should have--you could have gotten killed. I’m so glad you’re okay.

James: What the hell is he talking about? Pointy ears? Do you think he has a concussion or something?

Dale: gotta... find her...

Dale: Well, don’t y’all look cozy?

James: Dale! You’re here!

Dale: I’m guessin’ you’re Amber? I hear you’re the one making sure he actually turns in his homework in my absence. Thank you.

Amber: That’s been all James. I just proofread a paper every now and then.

James: See? I told you I’ve been trying.

Dale: Either way, I like knowin’ he’s got somebody else keepin’ an eye on him.  Hey, you’re coming camping with us this weekend, right?

Amber: Camping? Oh, I... I’ve never even been camping before. I don’t want to intrude on your time together.

Dale: Nah, you wouldn’t be. Besides, I’m sure James wants more than one friend around to celebrate his birthday.

Amber: Birthday?! It’s his birthday!

Amber: Lucius, where are your clothes?

James: Who the fuck is this guy?

Lucius: Sorry, but you summoned me. I was innocently minding my own business, getting ready to take a dip in my pool, when you started shouting about wanting to see my body.

James: Amber, do you know this asshole?

Amber: We’ve met a few times, but we’re certainly not friends. He’s been charged with watching me while I’m in the human world. So far, we’ve yet to have a pleasant conversation.

Lucius: I can go, if you lot can’t keep it civil.

Amber: No! Please, we need your help. Just... put some pants on or something.

Lucius: There. Is this better? You’re such a prude.

Amber: I am not!

Lucius: Either you’re a prude, or you wanted me to get dressed because you were distracted by my--what did you call it? Ah, yes, my glorious body.

Amber: Enough! My roommate has been kidnapped by the fey and taken to their realm. Can you help me get there so I can rescue her?

Lucius: What do you care? She’s just a human. They all have such short lives, haven’t they?

Amber: There’s no such thing as just a human. They’re as worthy as anybody else. In fact, the majority of them have been kinder to me than anybody in the magic realm. And Cora is completely innocent. She’s a good person, and she’s been a good friend to me.