#thundershit ross

They’re all college age here, I’ll presume 

Stephen Strange: Once an arrogant prick who sneered at “teeny-boppers” and “hipsters,” he has now inherited the largest and hippest mystical coffee shop in New York, since the Ancient One left it to him in her will.

Tony Stark: Once an arrogant rich brat, he now comes to the coffee shop to focus on his work and be away from his asshole father and army of nannies always up his ass. He tends to bring his AIs, who often order and pick up his coffee and donuts for him, so he doesn’t have to leave his laptop. Is definitely NOT in love with the wizard owning this place. 

James Rhodes: Tony’s friend who is here to try new coffee treats and pick up dates like a normal person, and wishes he could convince Tony to do the same 

Helen Cho: Coffee mixer always inventing brilliant new flavors and combos. 

Guardians of the Galaxy: A local rock band that plays at the cafe. 

T’Challa: Wakandan king who surprises everyone by going to a coffee shop. Tony Stark is irritated or relieved to have a bigger celeb than himself showing up, depending on his mood. 

Bruce Banner: Med student who comes to the coffee shop to get some peace and quiet. 

Thor: Jock with a heart of gold, who was never much into coffee shops before, but now follows his new nerd friend Bruce to them all the time 

Loki: Thor’s emo brother, a coffee shop regular, who is usually either trolling people, hitting on them, or in a corner plotting more antics. 

Valkyrie: Barista who spends her off time drinking coffee sullenly and snarking. 

Bucky Barnes & Wanda Maximioff: Punk couple that come to the coffee shop to escape their abusive foster parents on Hydra Ave. 

Ava Starr: Shy younger foster-sister of Wanda and Bucky, who often hangs out in the coffee shop trying not to be noticed. 

Peter Parker & Shuri: High school nerd couple who come to work on their various projects here. Regulars at the coffee shop. 

Steve Rogers: Passionate, inspirational poet, who is in all the poetry slams. What he lacks in vocabulary and consistency, he makes up for in delivery. No one has the heart to tell him that half of his “inspirational” speeches are gibberish, because he’s such a nice sheltered guy, he thinks “BDSM” means “Bible Devotion Study Meetings”

Sam Wilson: Cool guy who often wears red-tinted shades and goes by “Falcon.” Is here for the “Star Wars” marathon nights. 

Carol Danvers: Passionate karaoke singer, who often brings her girlfriend Maria R. 

Natasha Romanoff & Clint Barton: Less stereotypical coffeeshop customers, who frequent for the coffee milkshakes and sandwiches. 

Darcy Lewis: Barista who gives everybody hell

Jane Foster: Barista who has to play the responsible one, and apologize for Darcy’s antics 

Dr. Erik Selvig: Cool college professor who frequents the coffee shop

Thaddeus Ross: Homophobic, transphobic, sexist, classist asshole mayor trying to shut down the coffee  shop

Grandmaster: Annoying “artist” who fancies himself much deeper than he really is, constantly trying to talk Strange into selling him the shop, and Bruce into working for him. 

Them: “Why the hell would you ship poor Fluffy-Bucky with Tonky Stank/Wingding Maxipad? Are you insane?” 

Moi: “Um, so they can bond over shared trauma, swap guilt complexes, and help each other’s redemption arcs? Like they should’ve on-screen (just with some romance tossed in)?” 

Them: “Walnut Nazimoff made a fully-informed adult decision to join Hydra to get mind control powers, and regrets none of it!”/”Tinky Stinky made a calculated, premeditated attempt to murder Bucky that went on for like hours, when he knew all the details of Bucky’s mind control and torture!”