#three asterisks

Illustration by Mitsuboshi Sui

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If I Remember Tomorrow

A Snarry story by ***(three asterisks). English translation by a nest of stars.

Harry Potter remembers only up to the age of ten. Every morning, he wakes to a world he no longer remembers. When St Mungo’s can no longer care for him, he is sent to live with a solitary potioneer known only as Professor.

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Illustration by Sara

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The Side Effect of a Gentle Lie やさしい嘘の弊害

This illustration by Sara was inspired by an after-story for If I Remember Tomorrow, shared by the original author in reply to a reader’s comment:

“Because of the gentle lie, Harry will now greet Hermione, Ron, and many others with an embrace. Snape will be jealous, but he will not ask him to stop—and Hermione and the others will understand the meaning behind it. It will become their salvation. And so, the two of them will go on living like that.”

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Have you read it yet? ʘʘ

Illustration by Tano

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White Elephant

A Snarry story by ***(three asterisks). English translation by a nest of stars.

Harry Potter knew what love was. He had learnt it long before anyone thought to teach him otherwise.

Years later, he writes about Severus Snape, and about the thing between them that he once mistook for love.

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Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/85192486

Illustration by Mitsuboshi Sui

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White Elephant

Mitsuboshi Sui created this illustration for White Elephant, a Snarry fanfiction by ***(three asterisks).

After watching Saw IV in 2016, the original author discovered X JAPAN through “I.V.,” the song featured in the film’s ending credits. Exploring the band’s history and background eventually led to the inspiration for White Elephant.

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The original author was particularly fond of the scene where Jigsaw rushes to his wife, as well as the moments when childhood friends YOSHIKI and Toshi begin to reconnect, sharing a quiet smile. ••┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈•• X Japan - Endless Rain (The Last Live version｜1997)

The story was also influenced by X JAPAN’s “Endless Rain” (The Last Live version), capturing one of the last moments before YOSHIKI and Toshi would spend years apart.

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X JAPAN - The Last Song.

Inspired by this connection, Sui created this illustration as an homage to the cover art of X JAPAN’s The Last Song.

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Have you read it yet? ʘʘ

Read on AO3: White Elephant https://archiveofourown.org/works/85192486/chapters/224957146

Illustration by Sara

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I believe that what you gave me was a white elephant. あなたが白い象を贈ってくれたと信じるよ

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How the Title “White Elephant” Was Born

The title White Elephant did not come from Harry Potter, nor from Severus Snape.

It began with a Japanese word: serifu (科白), meaning “spoken lines” or “dialogue.”

Why do words such as 告白 (kokuhaku, “confession”), 科白 (serifu, “dialogue” or “spoken lines”), and 白状 (hakujō, “confession” or “admission”) all contain the character 白, “white”?

From that simple question, the author began researching the meanings and symbolism carried by the color white.

Not only the origin and usage of 白 in Japanese, but also the meaning of white in cultures, religions, national flags, and the images people have associated with the color across the world.

In the author’s research notes, there are reflections on white as something sacred, pure, peaceful, truthful, and full of light.

Eventually, that search moved beyond Japanese and toward English words and expressions containing “white.”

That was where the author encountered the phrase White Elephant.

Literally, it means “a white elephant.”

But it also means “a useless burden,” “a troublesome possession,” something that cannot easily be thrown away.

Why did a sacred white elephant come to carry such a meaning?

The author kept searching.

The following is a reconstruction, based on the author’s research notes and blog entries, of the path of thought that led to the title White Elephant.

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Thinking About the Meaning of White

While reading a novel, I came across the word 科白.

If you read it as written, is it kahaku? I had never heard that word before. Wondering what it meant, I looked it up and learned that it is read serifu. Apparently, kahaku is also a possible reading.

Search for Meaning Through the Origin of the Character

When you think about the character 白, words such as 告白 (kokuhaku, “confession”), 自白 (jihaku, “confession”), and 白状 (hakujō, “admission”) also use it in situations where someone says something aloud.

Does 白 have the meaning of “to say”?

If you want to understand the meaning of a kanji, search for its origin! So I looked into the origin of 白.

This shape, like a droplet with a horizontal line drawn through it, is said to have been the original form of the character 白.

There are several theories about what it represented: the shape of a thumb, showing the eldest of siblings or the head of a clan; an acorn; or the shape of a skull.

One theory says that it originally represented the shape of a thumb. The thumb represented the father, and therefore the head of the family or clan. But because 白 (haku) became widely associated with the image of “the color white,” a new character, 伯, was created to separate the meanings.

But then why did a character meaning “head of the clan” come to mean “the color white”?

Here, the “skull” and “acorn” theories come in.

In ancient China, the skulls of great chiefs were believed to possess spiritual power and were treated as sacred. Skull = white = great chief. That connection makes sense.

Also, people in ancient times ate acorns as a staple food. Inside the brown shell, the nut is white. So there seems to be a theory that the image of “acorn → the inside is white → the color white” became attached to the character.

Writing was created to leave things behind for people far away or for later generations, but just looking at the old character above, I honestly cannot tell what it is supposed to represent. In the end, meanings are passed down by hearsay: “This means this.” Maybe that is why there are so many theories about the origin.

Come to think of it, 柏 (kashiwa) refers to an oak tree, doesn’t it? Maybe the character was made by attaching 白, “acorn,” to 木, “tree.” So maybe it really does represent an acorn after all?

Still, even after researching this far, all I had found was 白 as an image of color.

So where did the meaning of “to say” get added to 白?

Did 白 Come to Mean “To Speak” Because of 自?

Then I came across a new piece of information.

There is a theory that 白 is a variant form of 自.

A variant character is something like 高 and 髙, or 斉 and 斎: the same character and meaning, but with slightly different forms.

So then, how did 自 come into being?

I found an illustration like this.

Apparently, 自 originally represented a human nose.

Later, however, 自 came to be widely used with the meaning of “oneself.” As a result, people stopped using 自 to mean “nose,” and eventually the character 鼻 was created for that purpose.

What caught my attention was the meaning of “nose.”

The nose is where we breathe.

Breath is what carries our voice.

There is a theory that the meaning of “to speak” or “to express words” became attached to 自 because it was associated with breath. Later, in order to separate the meanings of “nose,” “self,” and “to speak,” the meaning related to speech was attached to 白, a variant form of 自.

Is There Any Connection Between 申 and Speech?

Then another thought occurred to me.

The character 申, meaning “to state” or “to report,” looks a little like 日—which itself resembles 白.

Could it be that 白 acquired the meaning “to speak” because it was somehow related to 申?

So I looked into that as well.

It turns out that 申 originally represented a flash of lightning.

Because lightning stretches across the sky in multiple directions, the character came to carry the meaning “to extend.”

In other words, it seems that 白 and 申 are unrelated in terms of their origins.

Still, that raised another question.

Why did a character representing lightning come to mean “to state” or “to speak”?

One explanation says that speech is something that extends outward from within oneself.

The words inside a person are extended outward into the world.

And from there, I wandered into pure speculation.

Lightning, Gods, and Words

This is entirely my own theory.

When I think of God in the Old Testament, I tend to associate Him with lightning.

Partly because passages like this left a strong impression on me:

On the morning of the third day there was thunder and lightning, with a thick cloud over the mountain, and a very loud trumpet blast. Everyone in the camp trembled. Mount Sinai was covered with smoke, because the Lord descended on it in fire.  As the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder, Moses spoke and the voice of God answered him.  (Exodus 19:16–19, NIV)

Even before this passage, thunder and lightning appear repeatedly throughout the Bible.

And this is not unique to Christianity.

In Greek mythology, Zeus rules the world with thunderbolts.

There are gods of thunder and lightning in Japanese, Chinese, Roman, Egyptian, and many other traditions as well.

Perhaps people in ancient times imagined that gods lived within storm clouds.

In that sense:

Lightning = God.

The Japanese character 神 (“god”) is also written with the radical 示 and the character 申, which originally represented lightning.

Maybe people naturally associated lightning with the presence of the divine.

Then there is another passage that came to mind:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.  In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it. (John 1:1–5, NIV)

In this passage, God says, “Let there be light,” and light comes into existence. Everything in creation comes into being through God’s word.

In other words, ancient people seem to have understood words and God as being deeply connected.

Words do not merely describe reality.

Words create reality.

True Names

As an aside, this reminded me of the concept of the True Name in Ursula K. Le Guin’s Earthsea.

The true name. The thing that grants power over all things in Earthsea. Every grain of sand, every drop of water, every living thing possesses a true name, and anyone who knows that name can control it.

When I first encountered that idea, I remember wondering whether it had been influenced by traditions like this.

If God’s words can bring things into existence, then perhaps a true name is more than just a label.

Perhaps speaking the true name of something allows it to be summoned, moved, or changed.

White, Speech, and the Sacred

Ancient people saw gods and words as deeply connected.

They also associated gods with lightning.

Perhaps that is why I found myself imagining a chain of associations:

Lightning = God = Word.

Maybe that is why a character originally associated with lightning eventually acquired the meaning “to state” or “to speak.”

Then there is 白.

White is widely regarded as a symbol of holiness.

Across cultures, it is associated with peace, purity, and sacred things.

According to one theory, 白 inherited a meaning related to speech from 自.

And according to another tradition, words themselves were considered divine.

A character associated with holiness.

A character associated with speech.

A world in which words and gods were inseparable.

It may all be coincidence.

But I cannot help feeling that there is something beautiful about those connections.

Returning to 科白

So, after all of that, let us return to the word 科白.

It seems that, through various twists and turns, the character 白 eventually acquired the meaning “to speak.”

As for how 科白 itself came to mean “dialogue,” the explanation appears to lie in Japan’s traditional performing arts, such as Noh and Kyōgen.

In old scripts, stage directions and instructions for movement were written down, but the actual words spoken by the actors were written in the spaces between the lines or in the margins—the blank, white spaces on the page.

Because of this:

科 referred to actions or movements.

白 referred to words or spoken lines.

Together, 科白 came to mean the actor’s actions and dialogue.

Incidentally, the word serifu itself does not appear to have originated in China.

One theory suggests that it comes from the world of Kabuki. Actors would exchange lines as if competing with one another, and the word evolved from serigoto (“competing words”). The characters 科白 were then assigned later.

In other words, the Japanese word itself seems to have come first, and the kanji were applied afterward.

Still, after all this research, one question remained.

Why is white treated as a symbol of holiness, purity, and peace almost everywhere in the world?

To explore that question, I turned my attention to national flags and the meanings attached to the color white in different countries.

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White in National Flags

Japan

In Japan, red and white have long been regarded as auspicious colors used in celebrations and ceremonies.

White is also commonly associated with purity and the sacred.

France

In France, white is said to represent equality.

It is also associated with the white fleur-de-lis, a symbol of the Bourbon monarchy.

Indonesia

In Indonesia, white represents truth and a pure heart.

Canada

In Canada, white is said to represent snow, one of the country’s most recognizable features.

Other examples were equally interesting.

In Finland, white is associated with snow.

In Israel, it represents purity of heart.

In Nigeria, it symbolizes peace.

In Peru, it stands for peace and honor.

Even from this brief survey, one thing stood out to me.

White is used positively almost everywhere.

Perhaps that is only natural—national flags are meant to represent a country in a favorable light.

Still, I found it fascinating that so many different cultures had independently associated white with ideas such as peace, purity, and holiness.

Why Does White Have Such Positive Associations?

White is said to be the brightest color because it reflects light.

Black, by contrast, absorbs it.

In the ancient world, nights were far darker than they are today.

Darkness was dangerous.

Predators could approach unseen.

Visibility was poor.

Simply moving around became more difficult.

In some cases, it could be a matter of life and death.

Perhaps that is why red, the color of fire, came to be associated with protection and the warding off of evil.

Of course, there are other explanations.

One theory traces the protective symbolism of red to the blood painted on doorways during the Exodus:

Then they are to take some of the blood and put it on the sides and tops of the doorframes of the houses where they eat the lambs. (Exodus 12:7, NIV)

Personally, I find that interpretation fascinating as well.

Many national flags that use red associate it with blood, sacrifice, or struggle.

But no matter how brightly a fire burns, it cannot compete with sunlight.

When the sun rises, hidden things become visible.

The world becomes easier to navigate.

The danger of nocturnal predators diminishes.

Perhaps that is why human beings first developed a negative image of darkness.

And perhaps the brightest thing of all—light itself—came to be associated with safety, goodness, and purity.

If so, it would make sense that white, the color closest to light, inherited those positive meanings.

At least, that is my theory.

Does White Have Any Negative Meanings?

At this point, I started wondering about something else.

If white is associated with holiness, purity, and peace in so many places around the world, are there any cultures that view it negatively?

So I looked into that as well.

In Japanese, there is the expression shirajirashii (白々しい), which is not usually used in a positive way.

It can be used to describe someone who is being obviously insincere.

But the meaning of 白 here is actually closer to “plainly visible.”

The feeling is less “white is bad” and more:

“You think you’re hiding it? Everyone can see right through you.”

In other words, the negative meaning does not come from white itself.

The same thing happened with other examples I found.

There are certainly words containing 白 that appear in negative contexts, but the negativity rarely comes from the character itself.

Even when used critically, 白 often retains its sense of clarity, openness, or revelation.

No matter where I looked, I struggled to find a genuinely negative symbolic meaning attached to white itself.

And then I came across a phrase that caught my attention.

White Elephant

While researching words and expressions containing “white” in other languages, I encountered the phrase White Elephant.

Its meaning was:

“A burdensome possession.”

“Something troublesome.”

“Something more trouble than it is worth.”

I was surprised immediately.

First, because it literally means “white elephant.”

And second, because it carried such a negative meaning.

How could something associated with the color white—a color that seemed to symbolize holiness, peace, and purity almost everywhere—come to mean a burden?

I wanted to know more.

What Is a White Elephant?

The first thing I learned was that white elephants are regarded as sacred animals, especially in Southeast Asia.

A white elephant does not necessarily have to be an albino.

Animals with several pale patches and certain recognized characteristics may also be classified as white elephants.

The first thing I did was search for photographs.

I had never actually seen a white elephant before.

“Oh.”

“They are white…”

Well, sort of.

The two elephants in the photographs on the left had been painted white for ceremonial purposes.

The actual white elephant was the one on the right.

To be honest, it was not the pure white animal I had imagined from stories and legends.

Its color was certainly lighter than that of an ordinary elephant, but it was not truly white.

Then I came across another interesting detail.

Apparently, “white elephant” may itself be the result of a translation problem.

According to one explanation, the original term is closer to “taro-colored elephant.”

Taro.

Looking at photographs of white elephants, I had to admit that the comparison was not entirely unreasonable.

The color does resemble the pale flesh of a taro root.

That reminded me of another famous example.

The white rhinoceros is not called “white” because of its color. One explanation says that the name originated when the Dutch word wijd (“wide”), referring to the animal’s broad mouth, was misheard as white.

Something similar may have happened in Thailand.

Perhaps the sacred elephant gradually became associated with the sacred color white through translation and interpretation.

Or perhaps people simply began to connect a rare pale elephant with ideas of holiness and purity.

Either way, the image of the White Elephant was born.

An albino elephant calf and an elephant that turned white after a mud bath.

Sacred Animals and Kings

White was considered a sacred color in Thailand as well.

Elephants themselves were already associated with the divine. Ganesha, the elephant-headed god, is probably the most famous example.

In a culture where elephants were revered, a pale elephant would naturally be seen as extraordinary.

Even being slightly lighter in color would have been enough to make such an animal exceptionally rare.

And rarity often becomes a sign of the sacred.

White elephants belonged to the king.

If one was discovered, it was expected to be presented to the royal court.

Owning three white elephants was considered an impressive achievement.

King Bhumibol Adulyadej was said to have owned seven, which was regarded as an extraordinary accomplishment.

The relationship between kings and elephants in Thailand was far closer than I had imagined.

Why Did White Elephant Come to Mean “A Burden”?

And that brings us back to the original question.

If white elephants were sacred, royal, and precious, why did the phrase White Elephant come to mean something troublesome?

The answer lies in an old story.

According to an old story, a king in Thailand would sometimes give a white elephant to a courtier he disliked.

The recipient could hardly refuse.

A white elephant was rare.

It was sacred.

And it had come directly from the king.

There was no way such a gift could simply be thrown away.

The elephant could not be released into the forest.

It could not be sold.

It certainly could not be killed.

And yet it was still an elephant.

It ate enormous amounts of food.

It required constant care.

It destroyed property simply by existing.

The unfortunate recipient was forced to keep it, no matter how difficult or expensive that became.

That, supposedly, is how white elephant came to mean a troublesome possession or a burdensome gift.

I love this story.

The first thing that fascinates me is the king.

He gives a sacred animal—something precious to the royal family, something that must be presented to the king if discovered—to someone he dislikes.

Some versions of the story say that the king would choose a white elephant of particularly poor quality.

Even so, it had still been recognized as a white elephant.

It was still rare enough to be treasured.

Still sacred enough to belong to the king.

Owning three white elephants was considered an achievement worthy of admiration.

And yet the king gives one away.

To someone he dislikes.

He gives away one of his own treasures.

That is what fascinates me.

In order to ruin another person, the king presents them with something that is precious to him.

He dislikes them, yet he gives them something valuable.

He gives away one of his finest possessions, yet hidden within that gift is a desire to destroy the recipient.

The contradiction is extraordinary.

And yet it feels profoundly human.

I cannot help wondering what kind of story existed between those two people.

What Did the Courtier Feel?

And what about the courtier?

What did he feel when he looked at the elephant standing before him?

At what moment did he realize the king’s malice?

The white elephant was the greatest gift the king could have given him.

And yet it was also the thing that would gradually destroy him.

How did he watch that happen?

Did he come to hate the king?

Or did he continue believing in the king’s goodwill and blame only himself for being unable to care properly for such a magnificent gift?

Even if he hated the king, the elephant itself did not change.

It was still the white elephant the king had given him.

Still sacred.

Still precious.

Still the king’s gift.

I cannot help feeling that there must have been emotions there that cannot be easily explained.

And What About the King?

And what about the king?

As he watched one of his own treasures bring ruin to another person, what did he feel?

Did he think,

“Serves him right.”

Or was it something else?

I often find myself wondering.

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An Aside

English contains several other expressions involving elephants.

Elephant in the Room

Literally, this means “an elephant in the room.”

It refers to something obvious that everyone can see but chooses to ignore.

A huge elephant is standing right there in the room, yet nobody mentions it.

Well, once you acknowledge it, you have to deal with it.

I can understand the temptation.

See the Elephant

Literally, “to see the elephant.”

This is an old slang expression meaning to experience all kinds of things in life, usually through hardship.

In the past, seeing an elephant was not something ordinary people could easily do.

You could not simply search for one online.

You could not assume there would be a zoo nearby.

To see an elephant often meant traveling far away or having an unusual experience.

The expression seems to have survived from those days.

Pink Elephant

Literally, “a pink elephant.”

It refers to hallucinations, especially those caused by alcohol or drugs.

It can also refer to embarrassing memories from the past.

Come to think of it, wasn’t there a pink elephant sequence in Disney’s Winnie the Pooh ride?

Or am I remembering that incorrectly?

There are pink elephants in Dumbo, too.

Apparently the expression has existed in English for a very long time.

Elephant Juice

Literally, “elephant juice.”

This one completely baffled me.

Apparently, if you silently mouth the words elephant juice, your lips move in a way that resembles I love you.

So if a novel says someone mouthed “elephant juice,” it can mean they silently said “I love you.”

As someone who does not speak English natively, I never would have guessed that on my own.

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White Elephant

And so, after all of this, I return once more to the white elephant.

Do you think what Snape gave Harry was a white elephant?

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Adapted, edited, and translated by Luca from the author’s original research notes and blog entries.

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Read on AO3: White Elephant https://archiveofourown.org/works/85192486/chapters/224957146

Welcome to a nest of stars.

Snarry translations of stories by ***(three asterisks), with accompanying illustrations.

AO3 archive: https://archiveofourown.org/users/three_asterisks/works

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