#three am

Eugh

Three am, and it’s no surprise that I am awake but it is when you text. I tease you, asking you aren’t you too old to stay up this late? and you in a very you fashion respond. I feel warm as we banter and the scent of vanilla from my shower gel from an hour earlier becomes evident now. My hunger, probably a result of my boredom, subsides. You have seen more moons than me, is that why you seem so calm, so composed? Both parts of that sentence aren’t true. Age doesn’t bring with it wisdom and you are not as calm as I perceive you to be. I am aware. But I only see you with a halo. And that’s not specific to you. That’s specific to me. That’s how I view people. I see the best parts in them, I see them without judgement. And most times it hurts me and it isn’t the best for self-preservation. But I refuse to walk through this life being sus of everyone and constantly waiting to pick apart others for their flaws and follies. But do I want to learn to be kind to others without being an absolute dick to myself? Yes. How do we get there? I don’t know. Maybe I can ask you about it. Maybe you will tell me something worthwhile.