#threatening dads

“What in the name of all that is holy is going on?” Tova demanded to know as soon as she had taken in the scene in front of her.

“Do not worry about it,” Thorin said glumly but – of course – he should have known better than to tell her something as silly and deflecting as that.

“Explain!” Lo supported her friend, her patience worn out by the long minutes of waiting, “What is with that bucket and…is that blood?”

Thorin sighed heavily and Ori was actively avoiding my gaze as if not telling us what had happened would make the whole thing disappear, as if they could cancel nastiness by just not talking about it, which was – come to think of it – probably exactly what they usually did.

“Someone, and I can imagine what someone that has been – has put a small explosive into a dead animal and dropped it at our doorstep," Thorin admitted after a second reluctantly.

"An explosive? Into a dead animal? Someone made a carcass explode against our door?” Tova repeated in a very objective, serious tone.

“It’s a threat,” Ori murmured, “it means that they – whoever they are – know where we live.” His eyes flew to us and there was no doubt about where his preoccupations were laying.

“We can see that,” Tova nodded, grabbing the bucket, and emptying it into the kitchen sink before filling it up again.

As if animated by one single thought, Lo and me started putting together different supplies and threw open the flat door to check on the state of the hallway.

“What are you doing?” Fíli exclaimed – horrified – as he followed us out.

“We’re cleaning up the rest of the mess,” Lo declared haughtily, “we are not little princesses. You forget where I come from.”

“You’ve been born with a silver spoon in your mouth,” he mocked under his breath.

“If I’ve understood this correctly, it was our families that put yours out of their home and wealth,” Lo snapped back, “so do you really think that this is the first time I’ve been threatened? I am not afraid.”

“This is just so childish,” I agreed, “but how did he get in here?”

“It’s my fault,” the concierge admitted gloomily, “someone had damaged one of the garage cameras and I went to check on it; I guess he must have slipped past when I was away from the front desk.”

That made a lot of sense, I thought, and whoever had caused this ruckus would not have encountered any kind of problem to leave the building again as all the doors – with the exception of the main entry – were locked from the outside but not from the inside.

For all we knew, he could have walked out of the garage – brazen as hell – without being seen by anyone.

“I called the police,” the porter then went on, squaring his shoulders to show that he was ready to take responsibility for what had happened, “they should arrive in a moment.”

“Good, I’ve called Dwalin,” Thorin informed us, “and I want you to be prepared that there is a good chance that all the others will come over as well and try to baby us.”

A warm feeling of solace washed over me at the thought of the elderly gentlemen arriving in their pyjamas and slippers to make sure we were not overly frightened by the third stupid prank in a row.

“Do we tell our own parents?” Lo’s fingers threaded themselves into mine carefully, her eyes warm and steady.

“It makes me choke up to even think of them right now,” I confessed, but she was of course right, this kind of thing could and should not be kept from them.

It was late already, and my parents would be in bed, but it was my father’s flat that had been the object of an attack, so I pulled myself together and dialled his number.

As soon as he picked up, I laid out the facts in as neutral a tone as I could muster – trying hard not to burst at the seams as Thranduil’s words came back to me – and, for a long moment, there was silence on the other line.

“I told you that something like that would happen,” my father finally said, “are you ready to come home now? You cannot stay there.”

I had not thought that far. Nobody had. Or had they?

Turning around, I looked into the blank eyes of my friends.

Thorin mouthed: “He is right, you cannot stay here.”

My father’s name and his estate would protect me, I knew, but – somewhere deep inside – I also suspected that this was exactly what this Az-person had aimed at. He had sworn to hurt the men and what better way than to separate them from their girlfriends before smashing their faces to pieces?

“I am uninjured,” I replied slowly, “I am unafraid.”

“You cannot stay there,” my father repeated slowly, “they are dangerous. They’ll bring shame and destruction over you.”

“I am familiar with the feeling,” I quipped; it had slipped out, but now that the words were spoken, I could not help feeling how true they sounded.

“Tell him that I’ll stay right here,” Lo declared, sitting down demonstratively on the large couch we had bought, “I will not be chased out of my own home by a lunatic.”

“Baby,” Fíli interjected, thoroughly horrified by her stance, “it is not safe.”

“I will keep you safe,” she promised, a cold gleam in her eyes as she rolled her head side to side.

“That’s not…” Thorin gasped, rolling his eyes, and then stormed towards the door when the bell rang to let in Dwalin, followed by Balin and Nori.

“This is not your fight!” For once, our parents and the men’s guardians were agreed.

Tova, Lo, and I exchanged one meaningful look. If the men went home, they would draw Az’s anger as honey drew flies; they’d endanger their own family, darling Kíli, his single mother, upstanding Dori…

“No,” Tova said quietly but the word resounded like a shot in the silence of the room as everyone held their breath.

“No,” she repeated, “you cannot go home.”

“We’d pull him away from you,” Thorin tried to plead.

“Yes,” Tova nodded, “we know.”

“But where would you draw him to, Thorin?” Lo added, settling one slender hand on his shoulder, “We cannot be responsible for that.”

“A guard, a better lock, anything you can think of, father mine?” I purred into the phone that I still pressed – a bit too tightly – to my ear.

“You are not the target of this,” my father repeated, a beeping in the line letting me know that he was about to enter a conference call; to my utter surprise it was not work though but Lo’s father joining us.

So, I just put the call on speakerphone as well and let everyone participate.

“Is your girl as stubborn as mine? She just clicked away my call,” Lo’s dad spoke, seemingly not aware of my being on the line as well.

“She refuses to come home,” my father acquiesced, “even though this is not her problem.”

I saw Lo’s eye-roll and Tova’s pallor and my patience ran out.

“My God,” I screeched, “is it really that hard to understand? We are not dumb; we are aware that we are not in the cross-hairs directly, but we won’t abandon them to imminent and indisputable danger.”

“If you don’t want to come home, at least go to a hotel while I make sure that your complex is secured,” my father switched his strategy to soft pleading, something that was rare and – to a certain extent – precious.

“Please, love,” Ori’s hand wrapped around my shoulder tenderly, “go. Listen to your father!”

“I shall do that, if that is your desire,” I said amicably.

“Oh thank the Lord,” my father and Lo’s sighed unisono.

“If and only if you make sure everyone is safe and sound. We have strength in numbers, and I’d rather sleep in the street with them around me than alone in a hotel room,” I completed my sentence; silence fell with the weight of a hammer, resounding louder than a cry.

“Who is everyone?” my father asked deceivingly calm.

“You know perfectly well,” I purred.

“You want us to put of Durin’s folk? In the Ritz?” my father’s voice was now bleak and flat with shock.

“If you want me to be there, yes,” I winked at Tova who tried frantically to suppress the undignified and entirely inappropriate giggle fighting its way through the mask of good breeding.

“I think,” Lo’s father cut in, “it’s time we give up, old man. They’re…theirs now; our daughters have become proper gypsies; they travel in a pack.”

“You cannot,” Thorin started.

“Baby, be reasonable,” Fíli interjected.

All the while, Balin and Nori looked on with increasing alarm spreading over their faces as they understood just what we were demanding of our fathers.

“My love,” Ori’s hand tightened further around my shoulder, trying to shake me slightly, “don’t…”