If anyone asked just how it was being in a relationship with two people, Pollux would be truthful and tell them it was difficult at times. However, wasn’t every relationship? Every healthy relationship had arguments. Every healthy relationship took communication (which there seemed to be a lack of, currently). But Pollux would follow that up with the fact that he would change literally nothing about his relationship. He loved both Minki and Alex with all of his heart. They were his two other halves, and he would do absolutely anything for the both of them. But that also meant it was quite difficult when the two argued, or more specifically, Minki kept secrets. Pollux wasn’t filled in completely, but all he knew was Alex was hurt. And being the more unstable of the two, Pollux knew Alex needed someone, even if Alex didn’t know that himself.
So, Pollux pushed all his own feelings aside. Of discovering that kid, the son of Satan who he use to wrestle with, run with, watch grow up. The kid that he had always loved so dearly, the one light in his life before he grew up and stopped visiting as much. And now, he was finding out that same kid, was the Howlers’ leader. The same fucker who hurt both his lovers, the same fucker who he had heard so much about, and learned of how he had destroyed businesses and killed friends of his lovers. It was a lot to take in, but he pushed those feelings aside. He would deal with them later. Tonight, Alex was going to be focused on. Spoiled and comforted. That was his plan. Then, tomorrow, he’d comfort Minki. Right now, he was a bit terrified that Alex might do something incredibly stupid.
So, he sat, on the couch, in Alex’s home. Of course he had a separate home. But he sat, waiting, patiently. A dog awaiting his master. The other had been gone for some time, hadn’t come back, and Pollux was a bundle of anxiety and sadness. He wanted them all to be okay. He wanted them both to be okay. He chewed at his fingernails lightly, only slightly, not wanting to ruin the black polish that adorned them. But goddammit, he was nervous. He had cooked, a vampire and demon special meal, had a bottle of wine, and he just wanted to hold one of his loves. He wanted to make things okay. So, when he heard the door open, he immediately looked away from the television playing something he wasn’t even watching, putting on a brave face for one of the people who needed him most right now.
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Interaction was not exactly something that came easy to Pollux. Words got jumbled, mixed up, and he couldn’t really pick up on social cues well. Joking was even tougher for him. He tried though, but he couldn’t help being hurt when he was scolded. He spent a lot of his time being punished for simple things in the past, and he was still very much getting use to that fact that simple mistakes that may frustrate someone, would not lead to him being physically harmed. Especially when it came to his boyfriends. That didn’t mean he loved disappointing them. He hated it. Especially when he disappointed Key. And even though it had blown over the night before, it was brought right back up in the morning, and Pollux was reminded of just how much of a failure he truly was and how much of a hassle he felt.
So, he sulked, hound form, tail between his legs and feeling utterly like shit. Comical to some, probably, but he didn’t know what else to do but sulk, hiding away from either one of his boyfriends as to not bother them. He hid in the back of the lavish closet, filled with all of their clothing, hiding under a bunch of jackets that hardly concealed his large hound form. But he tried. He would hide under their bed, if he wasn’t so fucking large. His three tails laid uselessly beside him, creeping out into the center of the closet floor as he stayed in the dark. But then a light was turned on. He quickly jerked them out of sight, and tried to stay as still as he could so whoever it was couldn’t see him. Unlikely, but he had to try.
Pollux stood, folding his shirts and packing them up. Never had he really thought he’d come to this day. But love apparently didn’t last forever, and Pollux was just now seeing that. So much for his first relationship. His eyes stayed down as he carried clothing from their closet, to the box that sat on the bed. He was nearly finished, and had simply opted to leave a few items. Though, he jumped, whenever he noticed he wasn’t alone, eyes falling to the figure with a frown. Alex. “Don’t worry. I’m almost done,” he muttered, stuffing the shirts within the already filled to the brim box.
Pollux truly didn't want to ever talk about his past. It was painful, the abuse that seemed to blur all together. Sometimes he forgot that he wasn't one of the damned. Well, in a way, being a demon, he was, but still. He wasn't *dead.* And he really wished he had been. No soul, meant no afterlife, but anything was better than being abused by Satan.
But he had to talk about it. This was something Alex and Minki *had* to know. They had to know. And he needed help. He hated seeing them upset, yet part of him could hardly do a thing about it, he was always so sad lately. Not getting out of bed wasn't normal, he had to remind himself. He had gotten so use to feeling this way, so use to being sad, so use to feeling as if everything was falling apart and he couldn't stop it. So use to feeling scared, feeling useless.
He sat quietly, chewing at his lip, as they ate. He wanted really just to push this away, not say a word. But he couldn't. That was unhealthy for him, his lovers, and his relationship. So, he took a deep breath, pushing his food forward. "So, as you know, I was technically owned by Satan, he abused me, a lot," he started softly, biting his lip.
"And you know I was Cerberus. I'm technically Greek. I came here knowing hardly any English and mainly Latin. No Korean," he stated, fingers fiddling together. "And just like the myths, Hades and Persephone did 'own' Cerberus. More like, we liked him, they fed us, spoiled up, pampered us. Persephone was really sweet. You guys kind of remind me of them, a little. Persephone was there by choice by the end, and they did love each other a lot, and she was who you had to watch out for," he chuckled fondly, a sad look passing over his face. "So they spoiled my brothers and I. Because I only mentioned briefly, I had brothers. Than and Eugenious. Birth and death. But yeah, so, yeah. I never explained what happened to them, or Hades and Persephone, or how Satan got ahold of me," he continued, looking up briefly then down to his hands again.
"Hades and Persephone was killed in the turn of Christianity. And people stopped believing in them too, stopped worshipping, they grew weak. Hades allowed my brothers and I to separate with what little power and like, for a century or so, I was me, spoiled, and I liked the name Agapetos because he and her loved me, and then-- I-I never got a chance to mourn their deaths. Hound form I can't cry. I never got to cry about their deaths," he whimpered, feeling the tears already welling up. “I watched them be killed in front of me. I-I couldn’t do anything, because I was Agapetos and not Cerberus and how the fuck do you even kill someone as powerful as Satan?” he whimpered, fists clenching as he pushed himself to continue.
“And to top it off, Satan killed my brother Eugenious. Than— I don’t know where he is. I always assumed he was dead, but I don’t know. I really don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised, so I didn’t— I didn’t get to mourn his death either because you can’t fucking cry in hound form,” he whimpered, feeling the tears falling down his cheeks. He couldn’t control them. He brushed them away with his sleeves. “And then— I don’t know how long it has been. I just know over 2,000 years. Over. Way over. It could be more towards 5,000 or more years. But all that time, all the fucking time, it was pain, and something I did wrong, and I couldn’t be human. Sometimes I’d go so long I’d forget I was human. When he was angry, which is *all the time* I’d be his own little punching bag. Kicking bag. Agapetos, he used that mockingly. He’d remind me they were all dead. Everyone I knew and love was dead. Fucking dead. That’s why I was so, so scared of you guys interfering with any of that stuff, because he killed people I love before, and I can’t—“ he choked up, squeezing his eyes shut as he brought his sweater up to not lose it anymore. “Imagine centuries, millenniums…. abuse from the punisher of souls. He— did things. It was normal. When you found me, I hadn’t eaten in nine months. I escaped before. Nine months prior, of course, and— he drug me back himself, claws digging into the ground and all. And he chained me up with this special collar he made for me. It had spikes that went just far enough in my neck to not cut my head off. He left me in the middle of no where with the souls of the damned talking, no food, no water. He released me and I ran, again. And you guys found me, and loved me and lately I’ve been so scared, is all. So scared and sad. I don’t want to lose you guys, and I’m scared that I will, because I’ve never had anything. This— These have been the best time in my entire life, the best.”
He bit his lip. “When I went back to hell, the only thing that kept me sane and fighting instead of giving up like he wanted, was you guys. He almost killed me. Asmodeus made a deal and stepped in before he could kill me. But he almost slit my throat. He had that damn collar again,” he sniffled, “I’m trying to keep everything together and contained and I don’t want to bother you guys, but I can’t get out of bed some days because I think of that and those damn souls of the damned whispering, and I think of losing you guys and I just can’t get out of bed because you guys have plenty of people in your life, and— sleep with, and I’m like, why do you just want a mutt?” It wasn’t everything, but it was a summary, a start.
