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Let me give you the love you give me. I refuse to give more nor less. Let me be your reflection - cause I have been vulnerable before and it left a bitter taste in my mouth. Human nature tells me we take advantage of hearts wide open. It is not you, it is me preserving my pieces. This is me saying I cannot break more than I did.
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At the point in which you give them the option, you make yourself an option rather than a priority.
I know what I’m doing is wrong, I am aware. But, there will never be a moment where I will hide this shit from you, regardless of how minimal it is. I do things in your face or not at all. That has ALWAYS been your problem.
I don’t understand what is the point of hiding shit? Just come out and say it. How many chances does it that? 1,2,3,4,5,6,7? For you to finally comprehend. I’m done. I’m done trying. I’m done giving it my all for someone who isn’t. I’m doing getting hurt.
All my life, I’ve out people in front of me and honestly I’m done. I want what best for myself. The hardest part I will ever have to do it let go, but at some point in like when give them the option you become an option.
Some days I’ll wake up feeling fine. Feeling like I could give you this one chance and a million more...
But then something reminds me of what you did and everything comes crashing down. I gave it my all because life isn’t suppose to have second chances, or third chances, or fourth. I gave it my all because I love you, because you are the one... or were? I gave it my all. Walls down. Heart out. Vulnerability at 100%. You saw and knew every side of me.
Now, you expect me to TRUST that you’re different? That it won’t happen again?
You could give someone the world and it still won’t be enough. You could have their passcodes, their locations, their everything and STILL they’ll find a way.
I crave for a genuine smile. My heart melts whenever I get to see or receive some. Cliche, but it drives me crazy. For real. So dear, please do smile, always. It looks good on you! I crave for hugs, the tight-squeezing long hugs. The one that boosts my oxytocin and makes me feel loved. Would you like a hug? Just tell me, I'd love to share a hug! But please don't take advantage of it, if you know what I mean. I might give you a punch instead. I seriously mean it. I crave for moments that creates beautiful, unforgettable memories. Awkward, funny, corny, name it. Something that would make me automatically smile whenever it crosses my mind. I crave for a love so genuine. An old soul type of love. Something that pursues, reassures. Something that keeps me at peace and stays. Something quite impossible to find in people nowadays including me? I guess. 1 Corinthians 13 would best describe it. I'd love to be an example of that. Oh, Grace. Why not? I crave for the Lord, I crave for His presence. I crave for people who genuinely love him. I crave for moments of solitude with Him. To indulge in all the warmth and peace of having Him in my life. Oh, God! I am craving for genuineness. Sincerity. I really do. #Thoughts101 #randomthoughts #genuine #sincerity #cravings #justsharing (at Cloud 9 360 View Antipolo City) https://www.instagram.com/p/B5So4zepEot4_CIJxTGf2B0XFYZuAnCH5dSNHw0/?igshid=17txxi76l5bwy
I miss you. Despite the lack of words, I hope you know that as of this moment I do.
I hope I passed by your thoughts even once. I hope that despite the lack of words, you miss me too. I hope you are hoping that as of this moment I’ll know you do.
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And on a side note....
Danie’s SS au is making me feel things...specifically not to try crying and writing something sad. Like NO WAY STOP IT it isn’t healthy.
But hmm, I wonder how it’s gonna flow time, considering the plot is somewhat...full of twists along the way.
Never thought I’d see the day I’d actually characterize a soft, delicate angel into a deadly individual.
Then again, he looks like a cinnamon roll but can actually kill you.
He ain’t the Alpha for nothing.
The beauty of trying to write a fic is that I get to somewhat exorcise the demons in my head (aka all the plots).
The ugly part’s when I start to deeply regret that I wrote something mushy in the first place.
