St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Missouri, April 25, 1909
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St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Missouri, April 25, 1909

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Today's watercolors: "Thought Waves" https://www.ebay.com/itm/145852441883
How Can I Believe?
How Can I Believe?
I closed my heart today, Business has been slow. Hope has given up.
When innocence was lost and now fear, confusion and Disillusion replace warm, aged Memories with vicious rumors of desperation.
What can I say? What can anyone say? I can't believe or trust anyone anymore. I've just learned recently everyone’s a hypocrite, even myself.
Why can't it be like old times? Once, when I used to trust, a single word had sincerity, Emotion and feeling and now, now words mean nothing.
If I was able, I would stand at the edge Of my heart screaming and shouting why my heart used to answer me, My heart used to comfort me, My heart used to stand by And protect me.
Where did you go to? Why did you leave me here Abandoned and alone? I guess if I leave you Lonely like this you start to become immune to isolation and of course, anyone in their right mind would leave to find companionship.
I can't handle when new people come into my life. Some of them aren't new, but to my "new" brain they are foreigners. They don't get it or understand why I'm not happy. They don't understand that I don't feel. The people I have known all of my life are complete strangers to me and I kind of like it that way.
Being untouched. At almost 18, I have never had anyone touch me. No kiss, no hug, no peck on the cheek, nothing. Everyone has something and I do not. It's an experience I am lacking. How am I supposed to teach about sex when I haven't even had my first kiss. Life is weird and people grow at different rates, but why am I the flower who constantly get stepped on and squandered. Why can't I be blossoming and glorious like every other person in this world.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The second you tell someone you like something you automatically are held to that. As a child I loved bright oranges and pastel pinks, but now the idea of wearing makes me feel ill. I don't want to be held to the things I once loved. I don't want to be remembered as the girl who used to be bright and sun shiny. As of right now I just want to exist and be without having to be thought of.
CD 023 Thought Waves Of The Mind
This is a very interesting CD on the wave vibrations of The Mind. Hard hitting in parts, this lecture also employs the listener to confront certain realities of pre-conceived wrong ideas ironed into the matrix of the mind as “right” when in Wu-Nuwaup reasoning, these notions are shown to be alarmingly wrong. A very small portion of 'The Mind' book has been used to bring home certain aspects of the mind, such as the wave, “Erroneous Overstanding”, a book Nuwsouls encourages you to get, for it is one of the best books ever written, that supplies much right knowledge in all fields of life to aid you.
Running Time: 52 minutes
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