We all know Thor’s depression came from trauma and watching his whole family die, but it’s not just that that traumatized Thor. His response to the trauma is the response that happens when the golden child in the family becomes a disappointment or no longer lives to family’s expectations.

We joke about how Odin favors Thor and treats Loki like garbage, but it’s true. Thor was the golden child. For those who aren’t familiar with the term, it’s often used in narcissistic parenting to describe the child in the family that is perfect and loved regardless any flaws they may have. To put it simply, they’re the perfect sibling. Every dysfunctional/abusive family has one. They get better treatment and kinder punishments.

Like Isabela, Odin’s form of control is holding the golden child up to a higher standard for the less favored child to look up to and both Thor and Isabela share the burden of being perfect for the patriarch (or in Isabela’s case, matriarch) of the family.Thor’s always been the main character. The one destined to be king and built to bear all responsibilities the Allfather has.

But what happens when the golden child fails?

Their entire character and accomplishments are an extension of their (and their abusive parent’s) identity. Once they step out of line, all of that comes crumbling down with them. It doesn’t matter how many lives they saved or awards they received, if they prove they’re not as infallible as everyone believes them to be, their strength fades. Which is what happens to Thor.

His entire identity is gone. His identity as a king, a brother, an Avenger. None of that matters after Infinity War because Thor believes he’s not worthy.

Worthiness for mjolnir isn’t what really matters. I think mjolnir is a metaphor for something bigger that Thor himself might be too afraid to admit. I think when Thor says “I’m still worthy!” He’s not just happy about being worthy to wield mjolnir, he’s happy to learn that his worthiness was never attached to his identity as a golden child. That he can rebuild himself as a person and become a new brand of perfect in his eyes. Not someone who is indestructible but  someone that is confident in themselves and feels genuine love from the ones around him. Someone allowed to mess up and try again (if they want to).  

Thor’s transformation in Endgame is somewhat similar to Isabela’s (but not as dramatic). There’s a blend of old Thor and new Thor. There are qualities of him that made him “perfect” mixed in with new things that wouldn’t necessarily be seen as perfect. His messy hair, his beard, storm breaker, but his old battle armor is still the same and he incorporated Asgardian braids into his style. 

Thor is a brother. A prince. King. Lover. Fighter. Avenger. His identity is wrapped so tightly around these fragments that if he lets go, he’ll fall to pieces. But he’s fragmented because he shattered. And he shattered because of what happened in Thor: God of Thunder. 

Thor’s arc in the first movie, I believe, centers around the idea of consequences. It’s not falling in love with Jane, it’s not Asgard, not someone slapping him over the head. It’s the fact that his choices suddenly have weight and meaning. 

Thor gets banished for slaughtering Jotun unprovoked. 

Thor’s relationship with Jane, Darcy, and Erik is poor because he’s treating them like crap. 

Thor fails to capture his hammer because he’s not worthy. (To whatever standard Odin has set.) 

Thor, as he’s told, is the catalyst of his father’s death. 

There’s this moment in this scene when you can watch his face go from earnest to oh. That was me. I did that. Me. Not you. ME.

Thor is the prince of Asgard, which is basically an empire of nine worlds. He is used to having diplomatic immunity. He could do no wrong. With that ripped out away from him, Thor doesn’t talk. He shuts down, and settles inside himself, thinking. 

Not reacting. Thinking. 

Thor isn’t an idiot. He’s impulsive, there’s a difference. His first reaction is violence, because he was raised in a society where slapping your enemies over the head brutally was just something that was done. As much as I love Frigga, when Thor was banished, in the deleted scene, she didn’t go to Odin so tell him oh my gosh, our son killed all these Jotuns, why didn’t we teach him better? She complains that Odin’s punishment was too harsh. 

Thor has never been told to stretch this much, and had it stick before. And Loki does it. He does it in a way that’s a little cruel, and cold, but he tells Thor to stop being such an idiot. 

And Thor, miracle of miracles, actually listens. 

This is not a story of Thor becoming worthy. This is the story of Thor realizing where his priorities need to be. It’s the story of him growing up. 

And this is where we get to my final point. I think that almost none of this--none of it--would have sunk deeply into Thor’s psyche if Loki didn’t fall of the Bifrost when they fought. 

Look at them. Loki is dangling. Thor is being held onto by his foot. 

And Thor doesn’t care. 

Because the only thing he’s focused on is his little brother. Hanging there. Dying. His best friend that just tried to kill all the Jotuns. His confidante that just disowned him. His biggest supporter that fought him. And Thor doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand. He doesn’t know what Loki uncovered at that point.

This is just his brother who is going to die if he doesn’t do anything. 

And then Loki addresses his last words to their father. Not him. Their father. And Odin rejects him. It always struck me that Thor sees Loki’s face close off and then immediately knows what Loki is going to do. He’s not surprised, he’s not shocked. He knows. Loki lets go, and Thor can’t catch him.

Thor can fly. Odin didn’t let him go until Loki was beyond any chance of recovery, and Thor blamed himself. He’s solemn after Loki’s death. He rejects his parents’ and friends’ comfort. He goes to Heimdall to start looking out for Jane, because he is not going to let someone else he cares about slip beyond his reach. 

Thor’s consequence for his actions in Thor 1 was his brother. And that nearly killed him. Thor 1 was never, never about becoming worthy. At least, not for Thor.

“How is he?”

“He mourns for his brother.” 

I was having a conversation with someone who said Loki was a forgettable villain in Thor 1 and that people only started liking him after the first Avengers once he was more powerful and I had an automatic vitriol reaction. 

But I got to thinking why do people like Loki so much? Why does he provoke such powerful feelings among fans? Why is this particular villain so easy to empathize with despite all he’s done? And I think it has to do with the nature of hero movies and how they’re structured, especially with the way Thor 1 is set up.

Oh that's a good comparison, too and I thought about that.

Thor's been responsible for Asgard's problems since the beginning. Why can't Odin send experts or other people to fix conflict in Asgard? It always goes on Thor to save everyone. Why? Because he can handle the weight.

Asgard's reputation as the golden realm is shaking? Thor, go to Midgard and return a worthy hero so you can be a perfect king!

Loki messes up? Thor, go to Midgard and bring him back!

Dark Elves are plotting to overthrow Asgard? Thor, go save your girlfriend and bring back the reality stone!

Muspelheim is causing trouble and Surtur is plotting to bring Ragnarok? Thor, go get the crown back!