#this moment...

Leave it to Jim to save a giant non-humanoid alien kid made of crystal and to successfully bond with them over their similar traumas

"Please if you do understand me... Give me a sign"

"That's understandable." His voice had gone very deep. He sat next to her. With gentle hands, he took down the hair she had knotted out of her way. She sat still under his touch, until she realized she was clenching her teeth. She drew a breath. She could get past this. With time. She reached up to gently catch his hands.

"I'm so tired. Can I just sleep beside you tonight?"

For a moment, he looked stricken. Then he pulled his hands from hers. "If that's what you want." He stood up suddenly. "Or if you prefer, you can have the bed to yourself."

His abrupt withdrawal and brusque tone hurt her. "No," she snapped. "That's not what I prefer. That's stupid." She heard herself and tried to mend things. "As stupid as starting a quarrel when we are both too tired to think." She moved over on the bed. "Brashen. Please. I'm so tired."

For a moment, he just stared at her wordlessly. Then his shoulders sagged in defeat. He came back to the bed and sat on the edge of it. Outside, the rain returned in a sudden downpour. It rattled against the wall and came through the broken window. They'd need to fix that tomorrow. Maybe everything could be fixed tomorrow. Bury a pirate. Bid a liveship farewell. Leave it all behind.

As Brashen kicked off his boots, he observed sullenly, "Maybe I've no pride left. If the most you'll offer me this last night is to sleep beside me, I'll take it." He began unbuttoning his shirt. He would not look at her.

"You're not making any sense," she complained. He had to be at least as weary as she was. "Let's just go to sleep. Too much has happened to us today for either of us to deal with it well. Tomorrow will be better, and tomorrow night better still." She hoped.

He gave her a look that was completely wounded. His dark eyes had never looked so vulnerable. His hands had frozen on his shirt. "Brashen. Please." She nudged his hands aside and undid the last three buttons herself. Then she moved over on the bed, taking the side by the wall although she hated being confined. She tugged at his shoulder, pulling him back to lie beside her. He tried to turn away from her, but she pushed him onto his back and pillowed her head on his shoulder to hold him down. "Now go to sleep," she growled at him.

He was silent. She could feel him staring at the darkened ceiling. She closed her eyes. He smelled good. Suddenly everything was safe and familiar, and it was good to be there. His strong body rested between her and all the rest of the world. She could relax. She sighed deeply and rested a hand on his chest.

Then he rolled toward her and put his arm around her. All her apprehensions stirred again. This was stupid. This was Brashen. She forced herself to kiss him, saying to herself, "This is mine, this is Brashen." He drew her closer and kissed her more deeply. But the weight of his arm upon her and the sound of his breathing was suddenly too much. He was bigger than she was, and stronger. If he wanted to, he could force her, he could hold her down. She'd be trapped again. She set her hand to his chest and pushed a little away from him.

"I'm so tired, my love."

He was very still. Then, "My love," he said quietly. Slowly he turned onto his back. She moved a little apart from him. He was still, and she stared into the darkness. She closed her eyes, but sleep would not come. She could feel the damage her secret was doing. With every passing moment, the misunderstanding loomed larger. One night, she told herself. One night is all I need. Tomorrow will be better. I'll watch Kennit slip over the side, and I'll know he's gone forever. One night, she excused it, was not too much to ask him.