Her face started looking like she was sucking on a lemon, “No! It’s not that. It’s just I want to see how this will go with Walter. Alone. I mean…And, it’ll give you time to just hang out with Cora and have some downtime,” she finished lamely.

“You sure? Neon can get pretty dicey. It might be good to have someone have your back besides Walter. I don’t know how good he is in a fight.”

Hwa’s face contorted into several different emotions at once. “I’ll be fine. I’m not worried about that,” she said in an oddly bitter tone. “I can take care of myself,” she ended defiantly.

Sam had become increasingly sensitive to Hwa and her attempts at avoidance and deflection. He was almost positive she was from Neon, and it was obvious that she was trying to hide something, but he didn’t know exactly what. And, her demeanor was baffling. However, he wasn’t going to push it if she didn’t want him along. “Ok, that’s fine. I can get caught up on the games I’ve missed while you’re away. Don’t you go and have too much fun without me.”

"Thanks again for the oran berries Carracosta," said Nuzleaf as the two pokemon crossed the bridge to their homes.

"No trouble at all, Nuzleaf," said Carracosta with a wave of his flipper. "After everything that's happened in the past few months, you could use a bit of good luck."

"Y....yeah," muttered Nuzleaf suddenly feeling a pit in his stomach He clutched at the bag that held the oran berries. Sure he could use some good luck, but that didn’t mean he deserved it. Not after everything.

“You alright there Nuzleaf?” asked Carracosta. “You look pale.”

"I'm fine," said Nuzleaf, then looked at Carracosta with a smile. "I reckon I'm just tired."

Carracosta nodded.

“Well, alright. I would get some rest then. The kids will be visiting tomorrow right? Don't want to worry Autumn do we?”

Nuzleaf let out a half-hearted chuckle. Carracosta gave him a concerned look. He placed his flipper on Nuzleaf’s shoulder. Nuzleaf flinched at his touch.

“You know, you can talk to me anytime right. I’ll listen.”

Nuzleaf could only nod, but Carracosta seemed satisfied for now.

“Alright then. See you later?”

“Right, see ya," said Nuzleaf as they went into their respective houses.

Nuzleaf let out a sigh, and began to store his berries away and was soon lost in his own thoughts.

He still had no idea how Carracosta was able to talk to him like nothing happened. It has been going on for four months now since the whole Dark Matter incident, yet Carracosta – and everyone in Serene Village for that matter – have yet to throw him aside as he expected. They were being...nice to him. Why? After everything he did, why were they acting like he simply spilt oran berry juice? He felt awkward and...wary around everyone. Especially around a certain little Fennekin. Not long ago, Nuzleaf was able to help Autumn get her partner back, but even now he's barely able to look her in the eye.

Autumn was definitely something special. While she can be a little sassy at times, and a bit of a daydreamer, she does have a considerate heart and was always willing to help if a friend had a problem. She doesn't do things by halves. When there was a job to do she puts her very soul into getting it done. Autumn has always been like that from the moment he met her. He had gotten to know the little fox pokemon and grew quite fond of her...almost like a…

Nuzleaf shook his head violently.

No! Don’t think about that! She’ll never see you that after what you gone and did.

He sighed.

Not that it matters, once what I did hits home they’ll...leave and forget about me. I’ll be alone like always.

"Hey, Nuzleaf!"  

Nuzleaf let out a yelp. His jolt sent the oran berries flying. A couple landing on his head. Hearing a stifled giggle behind him, Nuzleaf turned around to see the subject of his thoughts standing by the doorway looking a tad sheepish.

“Consarn it, child, you darn near gave me a heart attack!” he cried.

“Sorry.”

The fox pokemon came in and helped Nuzleaf pick up the oran berries.

"You're mighty early," Nuzleaf told Autumn. “I thought you and your little Chespin friend weren't comin' til tomorrow.”

Autumn sighed and looked up at Nuzleaf

“I came early because we need to talk.”

Nuzleaf barely suppressed a shudder. He had a feeling he knew what this talk was gonna be about. He knew it was coming but.....how do you prepare for something like this.

"O...oh," he muttered, unable to think of anything else to say.

"I know, I don't really want to either," said Autumn. “But....since.....that happened, things have been weird between us. It's to be expected yes, but I hate things being so awkward, and....everyone at the Expedition Society suggested that maybe talking it out might help. I think I agree.”

Nuzleaf kept quiet, and just stared at the oran berries he was still holding.

“It's been four months Nuzleaf.” Autumn went on. “Honestly, we should've done this from the start. It's getting so frustrating you know. We only ever manage small talk and then it gets all silent and stuff. I don't want things to be awkward between us anymore, I want things to go back to how they used to be, but they can't. The stuff that's happened....it's too heavy.”

Nuzleaf's grip on the berries tightened causing the juice to squirt out on his hands. He paid no attention, however. He was too focused on what the fire type was saying.

“But, maybe it will help if we talk it out. Get it out into the open. It won't be pleasant for either of us, but maybe then we’ll be able to get rid of some of that awkwardness.”

Nuzleaf rubbed the back of his head.

“But I'm not sure I should be telling a child something like this.”

“Hey, I am mature for my age.” joked Kaiya. “How about this, I’ll go first. I’ll lay my feelings down and...then...you could say your piece. The least you could do is hear me out.”

Nuzleaf nodded.

“I reckon I do owe you that much.”

Nuzleaf put the remaining oran berries away then sat down on the steps near his bed, and motioned Autumn to sit next to him, which she did.

"You go ahead and vent child," he said, bracing himself for the worst.

Autumn shuffled slightly then began.

“Back then, on Revelation Mountain, when you...revealed your intentions. It......it hurt. Tremendously. “I mean, you were someone I thought I could trust with anything. I thought I could tell you any of my problems with confidence. I thought......I'd have a home to go back to if joining the expedition Society didn't work out. Nuzleaf....that letter you gave me before I left, everything it said, was.....was it all lies?” Autumn had tears in her eyes at those last words.

“No!....yes......ahhhh I don't rightly know anymore!” cried Nuzleaf covering his face with his hands. That was the worst thing about being controlled by Dark Matter he didn't know if anything he said was genuine, or if it was Dark Matter making him say those things. There was such a blurred line between the two.

"Well, I guess it doesn't matter much anymore," said Autumn sadly. “Anyway, Forrest was furious. He ranted on about how he would never forgive you for what happened. I....honestly wasn't sure. I mean.....I was upset with you, but.....I thought there had to be some rhyme or reason behind it. Espurr kinda confirmed it.”

Autumn paused for a moment then continued. “After learning that it was Dark Matter that was making you do those things...I...wasn't mad anymore. I....actually felt kinda sorry for you. I wished I could help in some way, but I didn't know how. I wish I said something back then in the Prehistoric Ruins, but I guess I was scared...and confused.”

Nuzleaf suddenly felt very ashamed of himself. He looked into Autumn's eyes hoping it was a look of complete honesty.

“I.....I'm sorry for everythin' I said to you back then.”

Autumn nodded.

"Dark Matter took control of you because you had darkness in you," she stated. "At least that's what Espurr said."

"I....didn't exactly have the best childhood," said Nuzleaf quietly. He had no idea why he told the young Fennekin that. This was going to bring up questions that he would've preferred not to answer. Sure enough, Autumn looked at him sadly and the question she asked pushed him past the point of no return.

“Wha......what happened?”

Nuzleaf took a deep breath he really didn’t want to do this, but Autumn already poured her feelings out. Wasn’t it only fair that he did the same? He did owe her some explanation of why he did what he did. Why Dark Matter so easily took control of him.

But, if I tell her she’ll leave for sure.

He shook the thought out of his head. He needed to do this. He needed to tell Autumn the truth Even if it meant losing her.

“Nuzleaf?”

Nuzleaf jumped when Autumn placed a paw on his shoulder. She was giving him a look that said Talk to me. Nuzleaf took another breath and spoke.

"I was born on the Air Continent. My parents settled down in a mighty nice forest. It had lots of flowers, fresh air and healthy, nourishin' trees. Everythin' a growin' Seedot needed. Life was good for a while, but....then when I was six, there was an accident. A fire type was passin' through the forest and one of the forest pokemon did not like that at all. They harassed the poor pokemon and he gone lost his temper. He let loose a Fire Blast, but hadn't looked where he was aimin' and went and set a tree on fire."

Nuzleaf sighed shakily.

“The fire spread mighty quick and all the other pokemon had to evacuate.”

- - - -

Seedot nuzzled himself closer to his mother as she and many other pokemon ran through the burning forest, trying to filter out the smell of smoke. He did not like this smell. It made him cough. He had no idea what was happening. It had started out like any other day. Then a Houndoom came through the forest and things just went rapidly downhill from there. Flames started spreading rapidly and quicker than a Raichu using Volt Tackle his mother picked him up with her leafy hands and started running out of the forest.

“Mama, where's Papa?” asked Seedot.

“He's helpin' the other pokemon. He'll be along. Keep your face covered, child. We can't have you inhalin' too much smoke.”

Seedot obeyed and didn't dare look up again until he was sure he and his mother were out of the forest. That's when they noticed a group of pokemon.

"Apparently the fire got worse deeper in the forest," said Gloom.

“Yeah, a Shiftry tried to blow the fire away with his leafy hands. Sheesh, had the guy lost all his senses?!” cried Whimsicott.

Faster than Seedot could register, his mother shoved him right into the arms of a nearby Breloom.

“Watch him for me! I have to go help!”

"Wha....do I have...Oh fine," grumbled Breloom.

“Mama!” cried Seedot.

“Stay with Breloom,” said his mother. “I'll be back with your father as soon as I can!”

And with that, she darted back into the flaming forest.

Neither came back out.

- - - - -

Kaiya just sat t stunned.

Nuzleaf sighed.

“We never encountered a fire before, so I reckon blowin' the fire away made sense at the time.”

"I'm sorry," said Autumn sadly.

"It gets worse. The Breloom took me in and we found another forest to live in. It was alright for a while, but Breloom started payin' less and less attention to me. He would be gone for days, then when he'd return he would not so much as glance at me sometimes. Eventually, it was like I was completely invisible to him. Every darn time I tried to get his attention he would yell at me at best, or....at worst," Nuzleaf shuddered. “I'd get a Mach Punch to the face.”

- - - - -

Seedot ran as fast as his little feet could carry him. He ran until reached his hiding place. A huge hollow tree. He always hid here after one of Breloom’s blow-ups which were becoming increasingly common. Seedot hid inside and sat down. His face still hurt from the direct Mach Punch.

"I reckon, I don't like Breloom anymore," he said sadly.

Things just hadn't been the same since his parents perished in that forest fire three years ago. Breloom wasn't too bad at first, a bit grumpy sure, but nothing like this. He made him a bed and got him enrolled at the local school, (Although nobody liked him at school.)but now Breloom just wouldn't give him the time of day anymore. If Seedot so much as said one word to him he risked another bruise. Seedot sighed. He was hungry. He went back out and searched for a tree that could spare a little nourishment. His parents told him to always be careful not to absorb nourishment from the same tree too many days in a row as he could risk damaging it. Seedot soon found a tree he hadn't used recently and started climbing. Not an easy thing to do when you have no arms. He attached himself to a branch and was now happily absorbing.

"Ahhh, much better," he said.  

It was a good thing that the majority of the nutrients a Seedot needed came from most trees. Breloom didn't acknowledge the little pokemon long enough to even feed him nowadays.

Suddenly a berry came flying towards him, hitting him square in the face. Poor Seedot fell to the ground with a yelp. Seedot sat up his head throbbing.

“Haha, nice one Aipom!” laughed a voice.

“Told ya, Fling would come in handy didn't I?”

“Oh no.” whimpered Seedot. He knew exactly who these pokemon were. An Axew approached him. Followed by a Machop and an Aipom.

“Hey, No Arms! Had a nice flight?” mocked Machop.

“I can't be dealin' with y'all right now!” growled Seedot.

“What's wrong squirt? You scared?” asked Aipom.

“Of course he is!” laughed Axew. “He can't fight back without arms.”

"When I evolve I will have arms, then y'all will be sorry!" shouted Seedot.

Suddenly Machop picked up Seedot by the shell on his head and held him upside down.

“Isn't that cute, guys. No Arms thinks he's gonna evolve.”

"Haha, yeah right. Nobody as weak as you could ever hope to evolve!” cackled Aipom.

Seedot kicked his feet trying to shake himself free from Machop's grasp.

“Hahaha, look at him struggle!” laughed Axew.

“Put me down!” cried Seedot. “Put me down, or I'll....”

“You'll what? Call your mummy?” sneered Machop.

Seedot immediately stopped struggling. He normally didn't let anything Machop said get to him, but that one stung.

Then Machop threw the poor Acorn Pokemon right into a tree. Seedot fell to the ground and let out a whimper.

“Awwwww, is No Arms gonna cry?” mocked Aipom.

Seedot struggled to his feet then he glared at the trio. Right then and there something inside him snapped.

“Ya, know what? I've about had it with the lot of you!” he yelled. “I'm done with y'all, I'm done with Breloom and I'm done with this place!!!”

Seedot then ran off leaving the laughing pokemon behind. Clearly, they didn't take what he said seriously, but he has had enough. If no one was gonna take notice of him here (aside from those three) then he might as well leave. Knowing Breloom, it would take him several days to notice the small pokemon's absence, so Seedot was confident he would get a head start. He didn't stop running until he was far from the forest.  Seedot let out a sigh.

“Now what?”

- - - - -

“I just left. I didn't tell anyone. I ran away and never looked back.” said Nuzleaf.

“What did you do then?” asked Autumn.

“Not much. Just travelled around the continent for a few years tryin' to avoid unwanted attention. I trained up a bit and eventually evolved into Nuzleaf. Soon after I came across a Shiftry lookin' for recruits for a rescue team he was planning to build. I had no other place to go, so I joined. Shiftry was mighty picky about the jobs we took, let me tall ya. We wouldn't take a job unless we were rewarded big time. One day, a pokemon convinced Shiftry to take a little job to save a wee Jumpluff. The job went well until Zapdos appeared. He whooped us big time!"

“Whoa, Zapdos?! You met Zapdos?!” cried Autumn.

"We sure did, young'un. He abducted Shiftry and took him to his abode. It was only thanks, to a fledglin' team that he got outta there."

"Whoa," whispered Autumn.

Nuzleaf shifted a bit before he continued.

“A few months after that, Shiftry decided to disband the team.”

“Really?!” cried Autumn. “Why?”

"I reckon the Zapdos incident, shook him up a bit," said Nuzleaf with a shrug. "It seemed like there was summat else, but he wouldn't tell us. I couldn't help but feel a little betrayed."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Autumn. “ It sounded cool being on a rescue team.”

Nuzleaf gave Autumn a little smile.

“Well, it ain't much different to what you're all doing now. We mainly just focused on rescue missions.”

"I see," said Autumn. “So you left?”

"Yup," said Nuzleaf. "I decided to get out of the Air Continent altogether. Too many memories there, ya know. I got me a travel pass and rode Lapras to where ever she took me. For several years I just travelled on my own. Then......”

Nuzleaf stopped and shuddered as his breath quickened and he began hugging himself. He hadn't recalled this memory in so long. It still hurt. Even after all these years thinking about this still hurt. Kaiya gave him a concerned look.

"We....we can stop there if you want," she suggested.

Nuzleaf shook his head.

“N...no, if I don't get this out now, I reckon I never will. I....met another Nuzleaf. She...saved me.”

- - - -

Nuzleaf clutched art the small bag he carried as he went through a dense forest. He growled slightly under his breath. This forest reminded him too much of his past. Of how he lost both his parents. How he ran away from his next home to escape the torment of Breloom and the bullies. It bought back feelings he didn't want to have.

Nothing seemed to go well for him since then. He thought he finally had a firm footing on his life when he joined that rescue team. Sure their standards were a bit…iffy, but it got him through the day, it kept him distracted. Then that thing with Zapdos happened. Then the fugitive incident. (He had no idea what that was about. Shiftry never told him the details.) Then there whole Groudon debacle. Not to mention the mess with the meteor and Rayquaza.

Shiftry must’ve finally had enough because soon after, he announced that the team was no more. So Nuzleaf had little choice but to move on. He didn’t say goodbye to his teammates. He….just couldn't look at them...he could somewhat understand why Shiftry disbanded the team but he still couldn't help feeling some...resentment for him about his decision.

He was so lost in his thoughts he wasn’t looking where he was going.

“Oof”

Nuzleaf found himself on his backside and he looked up to see a very angry looking Toxicroak.

“Watch where your going runt!”

"Sorry, lost in thought," Nuzleaf muttered as he picked himself up.  

Toxicroak only glared harder.

“What kind of half-arsed apology was that?!”

Nuzleaf gave the Toxic Mouth pokemon a glare of his own.

“I don’t much care for your tone or language bud.” Nuzleaf started to walk past the offending pokemon. “I’m in a hurry so-” He was cut off when the Toxicroak grabbed his wrist.

“Oh think you’re real funny don’t ya?” He snarled. “Well let’s see how funny you are when I swipe this!”

Toxicroak grabbed Nuzleaf’s bag and with a yank, snapped it off of his neck, sending the poor pokemon back onto the ground.

“Seriously?! This is all you have?!” Nuzleaf heard the poison type pokemon remark, as he got onto his hands and knees. Flashbacks of his torment at the hands of his bullies and guardian played in his head. His whole body shook as he glared up at the pokemon looming above him.

“Give that back…”

“Heh, why? It’s not like you’re gonna miss it all you had was a measly 300 P! That’s not going to get you far you know.”

It was true, but he didn't want to accept the much more generous amount of money that Shiftry, was offering him and his teammate upon disbandment. Whether it was from pride or hatred he didn't know. Still, he got to his feet and lunged for the bag.

“I said give it-ack!”

Nuzleaf eyes widened as a sharp pain shot through his abdomen. He could barely breathe and even started to feel pretty sick. Toxicroak glared at him, his now purple claw against his stomach.

“Just couldn’t walk away could you?” he sneered. “It’s your own fault you got hurt.”

Nuzleaf couldn't speak. He only glared up at Toxicroak as a wave of dizziness washed over him. Yep, he was definitely poisoned. He lifted a shaky hand, trying to reach out for his bag only to be met with purple goop being flung into his face, causing the pain he was already in to worsen, He was then thrown to the side hitting a rock.

“Maybe you’ll think before mouthing off to someone superior to you next time.”

Nuzleaf could barely lift his head up, he could only watch through his blurred vision as Toxicroak walked away. He thought he saw another figure nearby but couldn’t make them out. The last thing he saw before darkness consumed him was the Toxicroak doubling over in pain.

-

-

-

"...ey….hey…..you hear me?... Come on wake up!"

Nuzleaf let out a gasp as his senses slowly returned. He was sure he’d never been in so much pain before. It felt like his insides were being eaten alive. It only worsened when he tried to sit up causing him to yelp.

“Easy, there, don’t try to move just yet. You’re pretty badly poisoned.”

Nuzleaf partially opened his eyes wanting to find out where the feminine voice was coming from. He saw a brownish blur in front of him which held out what he was able to recognise as a Pecha berry even through his feverish stupor.

“Here, eat this. You’ll feel much better.”

Nuzleaf let her place the berry in his mouth, and he chewed it, the sweet taste washing over him. Once he swallowed it only took a moment for the berry to work its magic. Even outside of Mystery Dungeons, those things work fast.

“Ahh, consarn it…” he groaned as he -successfully this time- sat up holding his head.

“Ah, good, looks like you’ll be fine. You had me worried for a minute.”

Nuzleaf turned to see...another Nuzleaf though clearly a female on if the shorter leaf and voice were any indication. She also had a blue flower tied to her leaf.

“Still,” she continued. “You should take it easy for now. You were in a real bad way when I reached you.”

Nuzleaf just looked down at his feet, fists clenched.

“He….took my bag.”

“You mean this bag?”

Nuzleaf looked at the other wily pokemon in shock when she held up said bag with a smirk.

“How in tarnation…”

“Turns out poison types don’t like Extrasensory very much.” laughed the female. “The fact he was also part fighting type didn’t help either.”

She handed Nuzleaf his bag with a smile. “Here it’s yours right.”

Nuzleaf cautiously took the bag and after checking that the money was still there he placed it beside him.

“Whaaat? Don't you trust me?" asked the other Nuzleaf, albeit in a teasing tone. "Guess I can't blame you considering what happened. Oh, I'm Flower by the way. At least that's what my family and friend's call me. You?"

"Er...just Nuzleaf, never bothered with nicknames," said Nuzleaf as he stretched his limbs to get the kinks out. “Thanks for the help.”

Nuzleaf looked around, finding he wasn’t on the same dirt road he was on before blacking out, but deeper in the forest.

“What are we doing here?”

Flower shrugged.

“Figured I should move you before the bozo woke up. Would cause us less agro in the long run.”

Nuzleaf just nodded.

“How long was I out?”

Flower thought for a moment.

“About ten minutes, fifteen at most. I wasn’t really keeping count.”

Nuzleaf gazed at Flower and smiled for what the first time in what felt like forever.

“Well...you gosh darn saved me back there, so...thanks a lot.”

“You already thanked me silly.” laughed Flower. “But...you’re welcome.”

Nuzleaf soon realised that he was staring so he turned away feeling his cheeks heat up.

“So where were you going before….that happened," asked Flower.

"Just…wherever," muttered Nuzleaf.

"Funny, me too," said Flower. "Could I maybe...tag along...it's pretty lonely just travelling on your own, and two's company, right?"

Nuzleaf stared at Flower in shock. He couldn't help wondering if this was some sort of trick...no one was ever this nice to him before. Not since his Mama. However, looking into Flower's eyes all he saw was an earnest desire to banish her loneliness. He couldn't very well deny her something like that.

“Alright.”

                                - - - - - -

Nuzleaf looked at the ground smiling sadly. “We got real close. She was a strong one. Didn't take nothing from no one.”

“Did you like her.” Autumn couldn't help but tease.

Nuzleaf blushed wildly but nodded.

“Yup.”

“Did.....she like you back?” asked Autumn, more out of curiosity this time.

"She did. She was the one to come out and say it first," said Nuzleaf with a laugh. Hoo, boy, those were good times. We would always hang out, gathering berries, watching the sunset. We didn't need anyone else. Soon enough she started going on about buying a house and starting a family. I was sure excited about that prospect. We were walking along a mountain talking about all the things we'll need......wouldn't you know it........" Nuzleaf's form began to shake violently. "It......was just too darn good to last."

- - - - -

It all happened so fast. Faster than Nuzleaf could react. One minute he was walking beside Flower as she excitedly gushed about their future the next he was pushed aside as thundering sound of falling rocks his non-existent ears. Now Nuzleaf was climbing down the rockslide as fast as he could to the bottom of the ravine. His heart hammering against his chest as fear and dread hung over him.

“Flower! Flower!”

He reached the bottom and searched the area desperately for his companion. His future wife.  

“Flower, where are ya?! FLOWER!!”

His breathing quickened as he searched. This can’t be happening. It can’t. Not now! Not just when everything was finally looking up. He turned to the pile of rocks and saw something that made his heart stop.

Among the rocks was a torn beaten up blue flower.

Nuzleaf’s breathing hitched as he walked towards the flower and picked it up in his shaky hands. It was like a bucket of ice water was poured over him. His vision blurred as he stared at the crumpled plant that once belonged to the love of his life. He barely felt the tears roll down his cheeks as he fell to his knees and let out an anguished scream.

- - - - - -

“I didn't want to believe it," said Nuzleaf, his voice cracking. "I saw it, but I refused to believe it! She…..save me….for the second time she saved me….and...I couldn’t return the favour. I........I...could...do.....n....nothing." Tears began to spill down Nuzleaf's face. "I couldn't save her!!"

Nuzleaf felt a paw being placed on his arm.

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Why…? She….already…saved me…it...was….me that owed her...now…..now I’ll never….it...it’s not fair!”

Nuzleaf felt Autumn pull him in what he figured was her attempt at a hug and he sank into it letting out heaving sobs.

“Consarn it, it’s not fair!”

“I know…” said Autumn sadly. “I know, how much it hurts.”

Nuzleaf clutched onto the fox pokemon. She was right, in a way. She did lose Forrest after all. The big difference, however, was that she got Forrest back. Flower...she was never coming back.

"I...I...just snapped after that," he said. "I...I was cruel to everyone. I conned folk. I….I had pokemon build me a house then called it trash and tore it down for the sheer heck of it. I...knew it was wrong, but…I just didn't care anymore. I felt if the world was going to continue to take and take from me, then I'd respond in kind. I...started hearing voices in my head…tellin' me to...do more bad stuff, I'd rather not mention. I...guess that's when Dark Matter started to take over."

Autumn broke the hug and looked into Nuzleaf’s eyes.

“That’s...when you went after me right.”

Nuzleaf nodded.

“Yeah...Yveltal told me to...get rid of you. Then when Beeheeyem hit you with that psychic move. I got that idea to play hero.”

Nuzleaf’s whole body started shaking.

“A...Autumn I….at first I had every intention to take you up to Revelation Mountain and get you to open up the spring but…”

He sucked in a breath.

“I...I really started enjoyin’ havin’ you around. You would greet me every mornin’ at breakfast then go to school and come home for dinner by nightfall. It was like…it was like…”

Nuzleaf shook his head, unable to finish the thought.

I thought maybe…..we…...could be like this forever…that after...everythin' I could finally be happy, but then you said you wanted to leave...it all...it all came crashin' down again.”

- - - - -

Nuzleaf was curled up into a ball on his bed. Once again, he was alone. Autumn was gone. She left. Sure he wrote that letter, but...he still couldn’t help the feeling of betrayal.

WhAt diD I tEll yOu?

Nuzleaf flinched. This voice in his head was becoming a real thorn in his side lately. For a while, he did what this voice told him, but ever since he boarded Autumn he had grown close to her and really didn't want to go through with this plan.

“It….it means nothin’”

WakE uP! ShE lefT yoU! LiKe aLL tHe rEst ShE lEfT. YoU cAn’T tRusT anYoNe iN tHiS wOrLd. Is’Nt it tImE tO desTroy it bEfOrE iT hUrtS yOu aGain?

Nuzleaf curled himself up tighter. They did. Mama, Papa, Breloom,...Flower. They all left him behind. Left him alone. Dropped him like a rotten piece of fruit.

WhY, dId yoU sToP tuRninG pokEmOn tO StOnE? Did yOu reAllY thInK tHaT FenNeKin wOuLd bE aNy diFfErEnt?! ThAt sHe woUld sEe yOu as fAmiLy thAt YoU cOuld cAlL heR yoUr daUghtEr?!

“Shut up…”

YoU hOneStLy thiNK sHe wOuLd sEe yOu aS a dAd aftEr leaRniNg wHat yOu dId. BecAusE sHe WilL fInD oUt. ShE WilL hAtE yOu. ShE wOn’t eVeN waNt to lOok at yoU!

“SHUT UP!!!”

Nuzleaf shuddered as tears flow down his face.

“Don’t ya think I know that already?!”

ThEn wHy pUt it oFf? WhY lEt thIs woRld wOund yOu aGaIn and agAin? IsN’T it tImE to pUt an eNd to it? To gIvE thOsE thAt wrOngEd yoU a tAstE of tHe pAiN yoU sUFfeRed at thEiR hAnDs a huNdRed tImEs fOLD?

Nuzleaf sat up staring at the wall of his house. Why was he putting it off? What did anyone care anyway? Everyone he ever cared for were gone. Left him behind. It was their fault this was happening. Their fault...he spoke his voice filled with resignation.

“Where next then?”

- - - - -

Nuzleaf wrapped his arms around himself and clenched his eyes shut. His voice cracked beyond recognition.

“Every time…. every time….I think it's….all….gonna be okay….They leave me….Mama, Breloom, Shiftry...Flower….N…..now you!”

Nuzleaf let out a massive sob.

“I couldn't take it! I couldn't take bein’ left behind anymore! So….so I went back to the original plan and took you to Revelation Mountain and….and I…”

Nuzleaf couldn't continue his body now racked with uncontrollable sobs. He felt beyond embarrassed for falling apart this badly in front of the young Fennekin, he just couldn't hold it in anymore. He once more felt himself be pulled into a hug.

"I..I'm so sorry." he heard her whisper he felt tears that weren't his fall against his chest. "I...I had no idea…I didn't stop to think about how my leaving would affect you. If I had even the faintest inkling...but Nuzleaf...you could’ve come to visit, or I could’ve visited you. You didn’t have to let all that pain consume you. You could’ve talked to me. To anyone. You didn’t have to suffer alone.”

“I know!” sobbed Nuzleaf. “I’m sorry!….So sorry!”

He felt Autumn nuzzle him as he cried, finally releasing all of his pent up emotions and pain. Slowly but surely he started to feel lighter than he had in years. His heavy sobs now reduced to sniffles.

“I forgive you.”

Nuzleaf’s eyes widened. Did he hear that right? Surely not. Not after everything he did. He disengaged the hug and stared at the fox pokemon.

“Wh...what?”

Autumn gave him a warm smile.

“I said I forgive you.”

“But….but….” Nuzleaf stammered as fresh tears prickled his eyes. “I...I turned you to stone! I sent you and Forrest to the badlands I-”

“Nuzleaf!”

Nuzleaf stopped cold at Autumn’s firm voice.

“I.forgive.you!” she smiled. “Just accept it, okay.”

Nuzleaf let out a sigh and smiled. “Okay.”

“And no more bottling your feelings up. It's not good for you," said Autumn wagging her paw at him. "I'm always willing to talk if you need to. Carracosta is too."

"How do I know you won't...leave me behind?"  

Autumn gave Nuzleaf a sad look.

“Listen to me Nuzleaf, I will never never leave you. I’ll never intentionally hurt you, and if I do I’m sorry.”

Nuzleaf felt more tears run down his cheeks.

“They all left me.”

“Not on purpose,” reminded Autumn. “Okay, that Breloom sounded like a piece of work and Shiftry’s reasons are debatable, but your parents, Flower...they died. It was a tragic accident in both cases. They didn’t mean to leave. Besides they’re not really gone. They’re still with you in spirit.”

“Young’n...”

“This is why we need to talk about these things. So we know where we stand with each other. So we know if our actions hurt one or both of us. You’ve been holding it all inside and not letting anyone in. It’s understandable after everything you went through, but it didn’t help in the long run did it?

“No...” Nuzleaf had to agree with that one. He was quite surprised. Autumn was really quite wise beyond her years.

Autumn nuzzled him lovingly.

“Even if I'm in Lively Town. You can come to visit me, and I'll visit you here. Whenever you want. Ampharos isn’t stingy about time off. I’ll….I’ll always be there for you, Papa.”

Nuzleaf let out a gasp. Surely he heard wrong this time. He stared down at the young Fennekin with wide eyes.

“You...you called me…”

Autumn smiled.

“Papa, yeah...I mean...you did kind of adopt me after all. Despite your reasons, it makes you my Papa.”

Autumn then looked really shy and loosened her awkward quadrupedal hug.

“Erm….if you don’t like it though I won’t-”

“No!” cried Nuzleaf. “I mean yes, I mean…I want it I want this!”

Autumn’s eyes light up.

“Really?! You don’t mind?”

Before Nuzleaf could answer he was bowled over by the fox pokemon giving him yet another hug.

“That’s so great thank you! I love you, Papa!”

Nuzleaf was surprised he still had tears to spare after such an emotionally trying day. Yet here was sniffling like a baby once again.

“Don’t go makin’ cry again young’un.” He muttered. “I….I love you too.”

He didn’t know how long with the little Fennekin – his daughter – in his arms, but by the time they parted the sun had set, and Autumn was fast asleep. If this was a dream, Nuzleaf never wanted to wake up. Not only did Autumn forgive him for everything, she even sees him as a dad. As family Something Nuzleaf never thought he could have again. Dark Matter was wrong. Wrong about everything. He never wanted this moment to end. Nuzleaf carefully carried Autumn to what used to be her room and placed her on her bed. She stirred a bit but didn't awaken. Nuzleaf stroked her ears lovingly, embracing his newfound paternal feelings.

"I love you, child," he whispered giving he a small kiss on the forehead.  

His scars ran deep, but maybe now after all these years, they will finally start to fade.

Harry’s parents are dead, and that’s very sad. But Neville’s parents are alive, but not there. He goes and visits them regularly–we know he goes to see them every year at Christmas. This is not a happy life for a small child. His mum gives him little bits of rubbish, because she knows she loves him even if she doesn’t recognize him.

And Neville knows what happens to his parents. His grandmother is proud of her son, as well she should be, but she takes Neville’s unwillingness to talk about them for being ashamed of them, rather than, like, everything about them being intensely painful. Moving on.

Neville is eight before he shows any signs of magic. With his great-uncle trying increasingly desperate things to either get magic out of him or kill him. Like, his uncle threw him out of a high-story window. This is deeply not cool, you guys. In CoS, Neville says something to the effect of, “Everyone knows I’m almost a squib, anyway.” This is pretty much his internal monologue. I’m pretty sure “You’re worth twelve of Malfoy” is just about the first value-affirming thing that anyone’s ever said to my boy.

And here’s the thing: it’s true. Neville is just not very good at magic. His grades scrape by, but think about the actual fights we see him in. At the Department of Mysteries, he gets his nose broken, can’t say any spells, and pokes a Death Eater in the eye. During the Battle of Hogwarts, he’s running around with a stonking great sword. Heroic? Yeah! But not so much wizardly. He’s brilliant at Herbology, right? Herbology is one of those magic-adjacent disciplines (though I do think some plants require, like, magical tending). So he never has anything to contradict “almost a squib anyway.” That statement isn’t really false; it’s just that it shouldn’t impact his sense of self-worth the way it does.

It doesn’t help that he’s short, chubby, and kind of awkward.

What does he do during seventh year? He spends a year making a**holes pick on someone their own size, or at least, someone his size. Listen, wizards have lots of ways of hurting someone that aren’t going to leave a stonking great gash across the middle of your face; if you’re sharpening knives on someone’s face, you’re making a point. (If you walk around for the rest of your life with a great big scar across the middle of your face, you’re making a point right back, but I digress.)

So here’s the thing about my boy Neville that keeps me from shipping him with stable pair-bonding.

One, he has an incredibly low sense of self-worth. Worse than Harry’s. After the War, he actually had a certain amount of prestige, that might have helped… except that almost everything nice anyone had to say about him included the word finally. “You’re finally living up to your father’s legacy” feels so much different than “you’re living up to your father’s legacy.”

Two, Neville has zero confidence that the world isn’t going to fall apart any day now. But the first war has never not been touching his life–he gets reminded of it every time he sees his parents–and he was right in the thick of the second war. Neville is not complacent in peace. Unlike Harry, he can’t get a sense of security out of seizing the reigns of power, because he doesn’t have the same outsize sense of personal responsibility.

Third… listen, Neville knows exactly what happens to his parents. His grandmother is f***ing proud of them–she has every right to be, but there are things that my baby doesn’t need to know. By the time he’s a teenager, Neville has read the court transcripts, all right? Bellatrix Lestrange had them for days. In Neville’s mind, at least… one of them could have gotten away, if either of them could ever have left the other to that. One of them could have made it. He could have had one of them.