a short trilogy of mitch marner squeaking over being noticed by stephen curry senpai
first, the nhl twitter posts screenshots of mitch wearing stephen curry’s davidson jersey in his “Besties in Arizona” fancam
Then, lo and behold! Stephen Curry responds!
i am willing to bet auston’s hairline and all my fake jerseys that stephen curry 10000% had to google who this Generic White Twink was (imagine, if you will, Stephen googling “who is marner93″ and immediately being accosted by mitch’s 😁😁😁 headshots from over the years) before typing this response.
MITCHELL MARNER IS BAMBOOZLED AND FLABBERGASTED AND BAFFLED. ASTONISHED AND DUMBFOUNDED EVEN. HE IS HOOTIN AND HOLLERIN. he runs at LEAST five laps around the tennis courts screeching until auston comes out and yells “MITCH, SIT. MITCH? STAY” in a calm voice honed from training Felix (who is a good boy. Mitch, not so much).
mitch immediately takes a screenshot and opens up instagram with shaking clammy fingers to post it. but then! WHAT ABOUT THE CAPTION?
mitch must project an effortless cool but with his trademark joie de vivre that lets stephen KNOW that mitch like...really REALLY really LOVES HIM but in a COOL way and like...if mitch posts a heart emoji will stephen still think he’s hot????🥺
a lengthy council with Auston, Bunts, and Justin (facetimed in for this emergency) follows where they debate the merits of several caption candidates
drake lyrics (justin, flatly: mitchy, no.)
omg STEPH did u know u and my fiancee have the same name? 👉👈 (bunts, cackling: YES, yes do it. do it. auston silently snatches away mitch’s phone and threatens to flush it down the toilet)
dSJKLDJSLSKDJKAAasa STEPHEN SEE U AT A RAPTORS GAME BRO 🥰🥰🥰 (justin, pragmatically: he probably won’t remember you? mitch is mortally wounded by this but pretends he’s fine. he won’t let justin ruin this special day for him)
Upon further debate, they unanimously decide to add a fistbump emoji because that makes mitch cool.
(mitch: but what if he thinks im punching him?
auston: but you send me the fistbump emoji all the time
mitch: i AM punching you when i send those to you)
another furious 30 minute argument over whether to put the HEART first or the FISTBUMP first ensues. Justin hangs up on facetime because he has better things to do but nobody notices.
FINALLY, it is DECIDED. “Night night 👊❤️” has won the caption contest
Mitch hurriedly adds the caption and tags Stephen Curry’s instagram handle.
he promises himself to not take it personally if Steph doesn’t see his instagram story
AND THEN MITCH DECIDES JUST INSTAGRAM IS NOT ENOUGH ACTUALLY? BECAUSE WHAT IF STEPH IS LIKE REALLY BUSY? AND HE DOESNT SEE INSTAGRAM? I MEAN PEOPLE MUST BE TAGGING HIM IN STUFF ALL THE TIME??? DOES HE KNOW HOW SPECIAL HE IS TO MITCH? DOES HE KNOW MITCH EXISTS?? DOES HE KNOW MITCH LOVES HIM? AND THAT HE HOPES STEPH HAS A GOOD NIGHT!??!?!?!???!?!?!??!?!
thusly, even without the counsel of auston and bunts (and justin), mitch decides - yes. yes. the best thing will be to reply to steph on twitter with the same exact caption and emojis 👊❤️.
NOW. NOW Steph will remember him. (Stephen Curry will definitely not remember him)