#thinking thinking always thinking

screaming crying throwing myself against a wall

Okay but this does put the relationship between Izu and Tomura into perspective, especially since Izuku is trying to save Tomura rn

Izuku clearly doesn’t seem to be one of Tomura’s biggest fans. He’s said before that he hates that Tomura has killed and destroyed so many things and he will not forgive him for that

But he knows Tomura looked like he needed help. He saw the crying child, and he saw his ambition, and he knew that he needed to help. Izuku has also said that while he’d rather not kill, he will do so if necessary

To me, Izuku seems to totally be operating on this with a Just As A Hero mentality. As in, he’s not against saving Tomura at all, but he’s not going to forgive him either. I’d say it angers him a lot that Tomura killed so many people because he could

And this interests me a lot because I feel, if anything, that Izuku’s arc with Tomura is to understand him as well as save him. Is Izuku going to be able to do that from this point of view he already has? Is Izuku going to be able to understand Tomura despite hating him/holding something over Tomura?

It’s interesting to think about Izuku viewing this as a sort of Just As A Hero thing

In my eyes, Tomura needs that person, that Hero, who will save because that’s their job. No biases, just “well this person is suffering so I’m going to help them”. That’s what Tomura needs at this moment. And that’s what Izuku is for him

AT THE SAME TIME, Tomura also needs people who can understand him and save him. That might be split between the two groups (1A/Izuku and the League), adding into the possible ending that they all save him in their own ways

But idk I just find it interesting that Izuku’s mentality with this seems to be duty driven rather than completely and totally emotional. Which makes sense, given everything Tomura’s done

More than anything, though, I’m excited to find out how this conflicts in their relationship. Sure, Izuku is out to save him and does hold something over the man at the same time, but you also have the flip side of that, where Tomura wants to be saved, SPECIFICALLY thinks of Izuku as a Hero who could try, and thinks of him in association with fate and destiny

It’s quite literally Izuku being like “I HATE what you did and I’m not fond of you at all but you’re in pain and I want to help you, as any Hero should have.” and Tomura seeming to be like “We are linked by fate and/or destiny, I am fond of you in that We Are Nemesis’ way, you might still be annoying to me but I do acknowledge, in some way shape or form, that I need you and I do need help. And you’re the only one volunteering too, just my luck.”

It just makes me excited for the next time they interact, or the next time they can talk without the threat of an immediate battle over their heads

(makes me wish for a convo in the Void where they could talk even a little)

It also makes me wonder if, somehow, Izuku will try to connect with Tomura at some point. Either during the saving or after the war. If Izuku would want to sit down and talk and try to understand Tomura, or just leave it at saving

This also brings up an interesting kind of contrast between the 3 Heroes who want to save

Ochako is questioning how she acted with Toga and does wonder if she should try to understand, if she wants to talk about it with Toga

Shouto already seems to understand and wholeheartedly wants to connect with Dabi

And the extent of Izuku’s understanding, so far, seems to be that he knows Tomura is hurting, he wants to save him from that hurt, and he doesn’t want to ignore the crying child

But afterwards? No idea. Perhaps Izuku hasn’t even thought that far

Shouto’s already looking to the future, Ocha is in the stage of maybe wanting to try and understand or at least connect with Toga in that way

Izuku’s sights seem to be present, only thinking about stopping the current hurt. And while Shouto can relate to Dabi’s pain and Ocha looks back on the way she treated Toga, again, we have Izuku focusing on the present and not on how Tomura has acted before all of this or how he acted with Tomura in the past

I’d be super interested to see if Izuku has thought about after the war. If, at some point, he thinks he wouldn’t mind trying to talk to Tomura, or getting dinner with him, or something like that. If he would at least like to try.

Like, he draws hand holding so beautifully, right? It's intimate, affectionate, really shows the connection between both people. And it's always shown as a way to reach out, to save

But what if Hori were to show hand holding but in a forced sense? In a way that shows the connection between two people but in a bad way?

I'll use Tomura and AFO as an example

Say we get imagery in the void of both of them holding hands. But it looks almost entirely like AFO is gripping his hand. You can see the tenseness, the force with which he is holding his vessel, trying to keep Tomura beside him

(And I think that would be really interesting considering that we're always shown AFO's hands as calm, as gentle and offering, almost. They're always framed as "giving" or "offering" to someone, never tense. Just this calm horrible super villain who looks like he knows what he's doing. But here, in this moment of him holding Tomura's hand, he's not calm. He's desperate. He's holding on, forcing Tomura to stay and making him stay)

And Tomura, his hand looks slack. Tense, maybe in panic, but submissive under the pressure he's faced. Tired. Or maybe he's tense and looks as if he might pull away at any second. Trying to, at least. Maybe there's visible straining, showing that he can't move but he doesn't want to be there, holding his sensei's hand

And make no mistake, they are holding hands. But it's forced. It's desperate. There's a connection but there's no bond and you can see that

And I just think if Hori did something like that (not necessarily with AFO and Tomura but just in general with any two characters) I think that would be really good. I'd be interested to see how well he could show it

I'm not saying this will happen or anything, but I'm just. putting my thoughts down idk lol

I think it's super interesting how well Hori can show emotion through hands and I just wonder how far that range goes

I really think Dabi planned those 30 murders

Like, I bet, through those 12 years of separation from his family, he kept thinking about revenge and getting his dad back for everything he did

And it makes me wonder about how Dabi is still Touya. He’s still that kid wanting to be loved and to be seen, still so self aware of his actions

So it makes me think about how maybe he thought about getting revenge and thinking “Well... if I kill people, make myself known in the Villain world, then expose myself as his son, I can get back at him because, by association, that will mean Endeavor is bad too! And that will ruin him!”

It makes me think about how maybe Dabi chose who to kill. Maybe counting each body to make sure he doesn’t run over the body count limit he set for himself

It makes me think about how Dabi, early Dabi (as in only just thinking of his revenge plot), maybe didn’t even want to kill people. But he prioritized his want for attention and need for revenge over his morals, so started to kill in order to get that body count to just enough that it would cause upset in society. Just enough to get him noticed

It makes me think about how Dabi, maybe, possibly, only picked people who had no families. He went after thugs. And why? Because they would have likely hit rock bottom themselves, and had no families looking for them. No families to return to. And maybe he took advantage of that, to reach his body count limit

And, because he’s so self aware, I wonder if throughout those killings and the rising body count, he was at war with himself in his own mind

Sort of like “Another body? You really are a bad person, aren’t you? A true villain. Maybe thats why dad wouldn’t look at you. Because you’re bad, and he could see how bad you were, he knew what you could become. You’ve hit rock bottom and can’t even find it in yourself to care.”

Y’know, the dark thoughts and stuff.

And on the other end of that, his brain would spit back against those dark thoughts with “But this is revenge. This will all be worth it in the end! All these bodies, I’ll avenge them with society thinking more critically about Heroes! With them throwing away dad! See, this is all for a good cause. This isn’t bad, I’m just doing this to help society.”

His dark thoughts scoff “You mean yourself.”

His brain can’t refute that part. Because he knows it’s right.

(And I guess I can see that as that kind of being the start of Dabi repressing his feelings maybe)

It makes me think about how Dabi could have meticulously planned this, for him to kill exactly 30 people, just for his revenge. 30 is such an odd number to end at, isn’t it? It really sounds like he purposefully stopped at 30 because he knew that would be just enough to get attention

But then, maybe because the killing let out his anger and was likely the only way he could release emotions, he liked it. He wasn’t going to kill anymore after that body count, but should anybody else come along the way to oppose him, he wasn’t going to think badly of himself if he killed them. Maybe make an excuse like “The more bodies, the better! It’ll cause dad more damage to his career!”

But deep inside, he’d still judge himself for who he became. Or have a negative mindset about who he is. Maybe regard himself as “The worst of the worst” or something along those lines