#thingsweneed

"True Modesty Is the Source of All Virtues" -Muhammad (PBUH)

"Modesty in Woman is a Virtue Most Deserving, Since We Do All We Can To Cure Her Of It"-Jospeh Addison

I've come to realize modesty may be the single most attractive quality about a woman to me. I'm a sucker for a modest girl. It sucks that in this day and age, our society places no importance on modesty. Be it for a man or woman, the time for modesty appears long gone. Advertising, the entertainment industry, and mass marketing have all placed such an emphasis on the exact opposite in fact. Its sad but true, sex sells and we're all buying it. 

However, when you come across someone who has that rare trait, you realize that this person is special. I've come across few women with true modesty and even fewer men. Some may seem modest at first but you realize that the gilded image they try and put up is nothing but a front and is false modesty at its finest. On the flip side I have come across certain folks, mostly women, who actually are incredibly modest underneath it all yet ironically cover it up with the same shallowness that you find in so many people these days. And damn that HURTS to see. It hurts when you know that society has taken someone who still has some fight in them but needs to succumb to external pressure, someone who needs to DUMB THEMSELVES DOWN and be, for all intents and purposes, immodest in order to be taken seriously by the powers that be. And in no way do I hold myself above this. I'm probably one of these people too. Far too often I know I do things which can be labeled immodest for a variety of reasons just for my nafs' (base desires) sake. InshAllah we should all strive to be more modest in our day to day lives. 

Seems like theres been a lot of weddings I've had to attend this summer and they're not stopping anytime soon. Two more in the next three weeks I believe. 

Anyways tonight was my boy Zar Baqai's wedding. It was fun seeing everyone and chowing down as usual. And of course there was a talk about the joys of wedded bliss and the marital responsibilities of the newlyweds to each other. 

The speech was honestly pretty standard and almost boring for me until Amir Abdul-Malik said this little part about expectations and needs between a man and woman. I instantly perked up and took heed of what the man was saying. 

"WOMEN WANT ONE THING MORE THAN THE REST, AND THAT IS TO FEEL LOVED. AND MEN WANT ONE THING MORE THAN THE REST, AND THAT IS TO FEEL RESPECTED." 

Ameen, so simple and true. On some level I suppose I have always known this. But I guess it took an urban black community leader to say it at a friends wedding for me to fully understand it. Now this is not to say that men don't want to be loved and women don't want to be respected. Its all about priorities though and what matters more. I suppose women (for the most part) are just more emotional than men and need that feeling of being wanted and men want that feeling of being needed.

Or maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

I know I want to be respected and loved ;)

But the respect thing definitely resonates. 

OK time to sleep. 2AM is not kind to my thought process.