#thingswecarry

I carry the whispers of desperation from my family, drowned out by the shout of my own strength.

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I am starting a 30 day writing challenge and I'm pretty excited about it. I love being able to explore and pick my brain and force myself to think deeper than what's just on the surface of everyday life. There will be 30 different topics, I'm definitely not promising to do one 30 days in a row, I'll probably miss a few days here and there but I definitely want to get to every topic atleast. The title of today's writing challenge is "Things we carry." This could be interrupted in many different forms and everyone can take it how they please but the first words that come to mind for me is goals, expectations and pressure. I think about not what I carry around physically but what I carry around mentally on a day to day basis. As mostly everyone who reading this knows, I am a newly wed, 20 year old girl from a small town with some really big dreams. I make it my mission everyday of the year to set goals and crush them. Whether it be a huge long term goal, or small everyday goals, it is important to keep those goals in mind and carry them around with me everywhere I go. At this point in my life I feel like things are kind of at a stand still for me as I'm waiting to move to Okinawa and get settled in so I'm constantly thinking about what I can do to better myself, better my marriage and get me closer to my goals. I think that it is important to wake up in the mornings with the mindset of doing something everyday that your future self will thank you for. The second thing that comes to mind is pressure and expectations. These two kind of go hand in hand for me. I am constantly on edge and aware of the decisions I make daily because I want to make myself, my husband and my family proud of me in everything I do. I hold myself at a higher standard than anyone else in my life. I carry around the pressure of my high expectations. I know that I have the ability to make sure my life is filled with everything that makes me happy. I have the ability to guarantee myself a stable job, the ability to be comfortable, and the ability to travel the world with the love of my life and I refuse to stop until I get there. I carry around these thoughts day in and day out. There's nothing more I want than to see the world and be successful with my husband by my side and I am so close that I can taste it. Not always is it obvious the things people carry around with them on a day to day basis. For some it is stress, worry, fear. For others it may be anxiety, happiness, anger.. You never know what someone may be facing or carrying around with them. I believe it is important to go deeper with people than what you see on the surface. If someone is important enough in your life to get your time, then it is important for us to open up our minds and ears enough to hear how their brains tick and why they feel a certain way and actually care about it. There is definitely more than what meets the eye and people are carrying around a whole lot more than what we can wrap our brains around. Thanks for reading, I'm hoping you all are looking forward to reading the topics to come as I am to share my thoughts on them. Coming to you live from Palestine, Texas at my In Laws. ❤️