Jun 24
sometimes i forget to mention that there are TWO different ‘sam’s that use this account. Hi im sam #1 and the guy that made our intro is sam #2 so im just gonna call him thing2
Loading...
seen from China
seen from India
seen from United States
seen from Brazil
seen from Australia
seen from Philippines
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
seen from Netherlands
seen from France
seen from Russia
seen from Australia
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Bangladesh
seen from United States
seen from United States
sometimes i forget to mention that there are TWO different ‘sam’s that use this account. Hi im sam #1 and the guy that made our intro is sam #2 so im just gonna call him thing2
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
A Conversation with Thing1:
Me: ::trying to rationalize something stupid::
Thing1: Mom, no. It's just stupid. You're too optimistic.
Me: I'm a writer, I have to try to make it a happy ending!
Thing1: You do not!
Me: I mean I don't have to but I always write happy endings!
Thing1: The fuck you do.
Me: I do!!! I've written maybe like 3 ambiguous endings? But almost everything I've written has a happy ending!
Thing1: ::extremely dubious look::
Me: I mean, the middle is sometimes angsty as fuck--
Thing1: THERE it is.
Wait omg YOU'RE a mom? All 3 things I've said to you so far (ao3 comments) have somehow included the word mom. I'm starting to notice a pattern here
I am in fact a mom! I refer to them on social media as Thing1 and Thing2, and they are my favorite people in the universe!
Both of them are nonbinary (they/them and he/they respectively) and asexual. If you go back far enough in my blog, there's a post where, when Thing1 was about... 10 or 11 I think, I speculated whether they might be ace, in fact. By the end of this year they will both be legally (if not fully functionally) adults, and they both have their own tumblr accounts, though neither of them post much.
I am enormously proud of them both ❤️❤️
You guys, look what Thing1 made me for Mother's Day!
They literally hand-cut all that foil! I'm just--
😭🥰
Thing1 (2013) is a striking apartment building popularly called the "Lego house" in Örnsköldsvik, Sweden. It has won several awards as Sweden's ugliest building.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Mother's Day Breakfast
It is our tradition that on Mother's Day, I take the kids out for breakfast to a pancake house (a breakfast restaurant, basically, if that's not a thing you've encountered before) that is not far from us. We haven't gone for a couple of years because COVID, but I thought we could resume the tradition this year.
Naturally, this resulted in things I need to post on the "my kids" tag.
Me, yesterday, to Thing1 (the late sleeper): How early can we wake you up for this? Thing1, after consideration: Not earlier than 8 Me: Honey, I'm not going to get up before 8
Me, this morning, knocking on Thing2's door: Hey, ready to go get breakfast? Thing2: Yeah! Let me just get dressed! ...Do you want me, like, clothes dressed, or pajamas dressed? Me: …Let's go all out and try for clothes dressed. 😂
This particular restaurant's decoration theme is divided evenly between "cast iron cookware hung on the walls" and "chicken statues/art on every flat surface." Thing2 counted at least 22 chickens and 28 iron pans. I took pictures of some of my favorite chickens (and also the Things!)
Waiter: Y’all ready to order? Thing1: Almost… Me: I’m down to 2 things Thing2: Chocolate chip pancakes! Waiter: (laughing at Thing2) No thoughts, head empty! Me & Thing1: ::dying::
Thing1: Okay, I know men are gross but our waiter is cute Me: He kinda is Thing2, dreamily: Yeah… Me: ::blinks at Thing2:: You never say someone is cute Thing2: I know but he’s REALLY cute! Thing1: I’m so glad we’re all queer
Thing2: ::staring in horror at the table behind me:: Me: What??? Thing2: There is a bottle of Tabasco hot sauce on that table! Who the fuck needs hot sauce at a pancake restaurant??? Me: Lots of people put hot sauce on eggs Thing1: Or potatoes Thing2: ::even more horrified::
Happy Mother's Day
It is Mother's Day in the US, and my darling Things gave me cards this morning that made me laugh for like half an hour because of how extremely on-brand they were.
Thing1's card: Beautiful drawing of flowers on the envelope, elegant script, wax seal. Gorgeous notecard with metallic gold foil design. Inside, slightly messy but VERY TINY handwriting filling one whole side of the card, explaining that they love me and there's nothing I could've done to keep them from being fucked up mentally or physically and that Gen-Z nihilism means that nothing matters but that means we should just have fun!
Thing2's card: A sheet of notebook paper folded in half saying they forgot about Mother's Day until the last minute and that's why they didn't get me a gift. 🤣
Thing1: Okay, so-- Me: This is not going to end well. Thing1: The next time we use the sugar, there might be some… extra protein. Me: …what did you spill in the sugar? Thing1: I didn't put anything in there! We were just running low so I poured some more in from the bag in the pantry and I guess some ants had gotten into that. Me: ::facepalms:: Thing1: I picked out as many as I could! I just don't know if I got them all. Me: They were all dead? Thing1: Yeah. Me: …please just put sugar on the grocery list.