#thetruecaptain

You know it REALLY troubles me that we transition from happy Mei to Naked Nolden Makeouts and that’s what inspired this little ditty. ENJOY.

22. “How to kill the mood 101.″

There’s only another week before they arrive at Tycho. Another week with their passengers. Another week with Naomi.

And then the Roci will be emptier than before, with his heart. But Holden tries not to think about that.

What he does think about is how much time Naomi seems to want to spend in their bed before she goes. How much time he wants to spend there too. Especially when she’s got him pinned to the wall, lips on his neck and hans scrambling to push his jumpsuit off his shoulders. She nips at his skin, drawing a laugh out of him.

“Is there a reason why you’re in such a hurry, XO,” he breathes, shrugging off the offending top half of his jumpsuit.  “Dinner isn’t for a few hours, we have nowhere to be.”

Naomi makes some sort of a growling, laughing sound in the crook of his neck. “I want you, is that a good enough reason, Captain?”

No better answer really exists, except to agree. “You raise a good point.” He grabs her wrists, turns them and pins her hands to the bulkhead above her head. “And I second it.”

Holden repeats her earlier actions, kissing down her jaw to her neck. Naomi’s breathing is harsh in his ears, and combined with his pulse in his ears, loud enough to drown out everything around him. Including the sound of the door opening. Not loud enough to drown out the surprised, high pitched squeal.

“Ew! Mr. Amos! They’re kissing in here!”

Jerking his face away from Naomi’s neck, Holden looks at the doorway to see a small face of one of the little girls they’d rescued—Zarina—peeking from around the edge. She eeps when their eyes meet, running away down the corridor with ecstatic giggling. Amos appears shortly after, slightly out of breath himself, looking not at all surprised at the position they’re in.

“Sorry, Cap,” is all he manages, sounding not at all sorry, before shutting the door and following her. Holden stares at the door for a long few moments, until Naomi starts shaking under his grip. He turns back to her, eyebrow raised. To find her laughing. He tries to fight his responding smile, but it’s a fool’s errand, and soon he’s laughing too.

“Jim… we’re kissing in here,” Naomi forces out before dissolving into more laughter.

“How to Kill the Mood 101: Interrupting Children,” he jokes, chuckling as he releases her hands and rests his forehead against hers. She drapes her arms over his shoulders, teases her short nails up and down the back of his neck. They stay that way for a while, breathing each other in until she tips her chin up to catch his lips in a kiss.

“I’m sure we’ll revive it somehow.”

Holden hums, brushes his nose against hers and kisses her again. For now, this is fine. He wants to stay in this moment forever. It could be one of their last. It’s perfect, interrupting child or no.

Okay, first a disclaimer that I have no idea how exercise works so I likely got this wrong, but I was also operating under the assumption that neither Alex or Bobbie knew about the particular subject that much either so… I hope it’s believable and you like it!

Out of all the things you could have said, and you went with that. || Dialogue Prompts

Alex flopped down, panting hard. His chest heaved with every breath he took, temples and shirt soaked with sweat. “Five minutes,” he gasped, hand raised and fingers spread above his head. “Just five minutes, that’s all I ask.”

“You know, five minutes of rest between sets is at least four minutes too much.” Bobbie dropped down next to him — or at least on the small patch of bench spared from Alex’s limbs sprawling all over it — and gulped down some water.

“What?” He craned his neck back, peering upside-down at Bobbie through narrowed eyes. “Who the hell came up with that rule?”

Maaaaan, I’m still largely processing my feelings, so it’s hard to fully articulate everything that’s floating inside my head. The number of posts I’ve started, only to delete because all the words keep getting stuck in my fingers tips is staggering, honestly.

This episode was hard. Not in a ‘wow, it sucks she’s going through this’ way, but like cringe inducing, difficult to swallow hard.  I can understand being angry at her, I can understand everyone needing time to process whether they think they know her, or whether they want to be with her, but the crew is being incredibly harsh. 

I’m not trying to downplay the magnitude of her actions here, or the fact that we are dealing with the protomolecule. I understand the levels of anger and betrayal are going to be astronomically high, but speaking over her, telling her that her decisions are suddenly invalid before hearing her out (and agreeing with her) is all very difficult to swallow.  

And it’s all the more frustrating because they’re still actively ignoring her perspective. Alex tells her that they decided to get rid of the protomolecule as a group, but that’s straight up bullshit. Alex, Amos, and Holden decided to get rid of it, and as the three men at the table who were in positions of power, they never gave Naomi the chance to speak, and didn’t even notice that Naomi was sidelined. And that’s all continuing now, even as she’s defending her decision (which, good on you, Naomi), they’re still focusing more on themselves - their anger, fear, and position. 

Then we get into Naomi’s head. Who is trying to explain her position, attempting to protect a crew that refuses to listen (for better or worse), all the while thinking that they’d be more than happy to walk away. Because in that moment, she fully believes Amos and the crew would likely let her leave her behind. 

It’s so much worse when you consider that she spent the last two seasons learning how to lower her guard, allowing herself to be vulnerable after she promised to protect herself by closing herself off. But something slipped in her defenses, she found Holden, she found a makeshift family, and it was all slowly coming together in a way she never thought she would experience again. And now it’s suddenly ripped from her. All because she wanted to protect her people.All because the three men she calls her family refuse to listen and put themselves in her position. 

Really my only thought is that we’ve gotten meaningful conversations between Alex and Naomi and Jim and Naomi where they’ve all at least come to an understanding of where they’re coming from.  All we’ve gotten between Amos and Naomi is him shutting her down, cutting her off, and telling her some things can’t be fixed.

The fact that the last ep seemed to resolve that issue with their group decision gives me little hope that we’ll get anything between them at this point which would be a disservice imo.  Whatever feelings people have about Namos, it’s a fact that Amos considers her a part of his “pack” and he’s very protective of his people so I think we need something more between them than making a group decision together.  I don’t want things to just suddenly be okay between them when the last convo they had was him telling her some things can’t be fixed.

Y’know, instead of talking about what I want, why don’t I write it instead?

Naomi stood in the airlock.  It had cycled open and a dock to Tycho station awaited her.  She’d already said her goodbyes to Jim and Alex.  They’d come to see her off.  Prax said Amos was still in the machine shop.  Her heart ached but she wasn’t surprised after he’d told her some things couldn’t be fixed.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to give Jim, it was probably Jim, another hug goodbye but she was surprised to find herself pressed to Amos’ chest as he hugged her tightly.  Over his shoulder, she saw Alex and Jim smiling watery smiles and tears came to her own eyes and she returned the hug, squeezing him tightly and burying her face in his shoulder.

“I was wrong,” he muttered in her ear.  She pulled back to look at him.  “This can be fixed.”  Naomi smiled and nodded.  “You sure you wanna do this alone?  I can come with you, just like old times,” he half smiled.

Naomi patted his cheek shaking her head.  “You keep our boys safe and you keep that ship flying so I’ve got a home to come back to.  Think you can do that for me?”

I… Might have started something along these lines. >.> NO PROMISES but I’m a few hundred words in and don’t hate it, so that’s a good sign!! 8)

OMG

my all-time ultimate fave character: Jim Holden

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Amos Burton 

a character I used to like but now don’t: None so far unless you count Muss because she just isn’t there anymore. 

a character I’m indifferent about: I don’t think I lack investment in any of the main characters; I just have an over-investment in the Roci crew.

a character who deserved better: Julie Mao, obviously.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: Ummm... I have heard a lot of people mention Alex/Bobbie and other than them having Mars in common I have a hard time imagining it? But that doesn’t mean I’m opposed to it at all! I just haven’t felt/seen it yet, but I’m a multishipper to my bones; look at my current URL.

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: I will never be over polyshipping the Roci crew ever. It can come in many forms and proportions, but it is what I am all about.

a cute, low-key ship: I mean I feel like it’s not so much low-key, but I am also into purely-canon Naomi/Holden without the poly. I just really, really want them to be poly married forever.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: Maybe my poly thing still??? Oh, and I guess I kind of shipped Miller and Muss even though it was doomed. I’m talking about the show, btw. I know books are different, but I haven’t gotten there yet.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: Um, idk? It’s weird because if you just showed me Miller-->Julie or Miller/Julie on paper without me feeling the characters’ performance and emotional presence, I feel like I wouldn’t like it, but as it is I don’t mind it?

my favourite storyline/moment: Everything in the Rocinante ever. More specifically, I actaully feel like I love the couple of episodes dealing with trying to destroy Eros to the point that I might show them to someone in isolation if I couldn’t show them the whole series.

a storyline that never should have been written: So far I am frightened that there will be one I feel that way about but haven’t run into any. (Book Ade not being as nice as Holden deserves???)

my first thoughts on the show: “This is sort of dark and gray and spooky, and it feels a little bit dark, gritty, edgy-for-no-reason. I don’t hate it, but eh???” 

I agree. I’m sure they felt rushed, not knowing the state of the show, not wanting to end on a cliffhanger. I’m trying to look forward to the coming seasons and knowing they’ll have plenty of room to breathe, now. It’s still hard not to feel disappointed at some of the lost potential in s3, though!

ONE DAY people will gain some self-awaress and realize that their negativity is neither necessary nor desired.

the-roci replied to your post: “one day people won’t tag their anti-character stuff in the character’s...”:

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