@godshonest @thestaticghost
I’ve thought about this for a while now. While I respect your wishes and your request, I do feel I should make my own thoughts on the matter clear.
Dwayne: I realize that I’m overprotective. You know a large part of my childhood, so you should realize why I’m overprotective, and when I see something bothering you, I want to step in and deal with it myself. I made the wrong call. I accept that, and all I can do is apologize for stepping over my bounds.
I’m not certain how you came to be so suspicious and afraid that I would turn your girls against your husband, though. I’m hurt by the accusation. I don’t like your husband and likely never will, but how could you believe I would do such a thing? What have I ever done to deserve that much distrust?
I will speak plainly: You broke my heart when you banned me from being there for both you and the baby during the birth.
I guess it doesn’t matter, though. Because I see now that I made you feel as if your back was up against a wall, and you took the side of your husband and your family over mine. Which means, in some strange way I don’t quite understand, that you don’t consider me family. Not the same kind of family, anyway.
I respect that you made your choice. I’m sorry for making you feel as if you had to make one at all.
But... until you can either learn to trust me again, or you’re capable of talking things out and apologizing (because I do expect an apology for your baseless fear that I would turn the girls against D), then I’ve no wish to see you. Until both you and D have grown up and are capable of handling things like adults, do not seek me out. You’ve made your feelings plain, so shall I make mine. Our relationship has become toxic for both of us and for everyone in your family, therefore, I will take myself out of the equation.
If you need me--truly, desperately need me--then I’ll find you. Until then, I wish to be left alone by you and yours. If you cannot trust me around your children--my grandchildren--then I want none of it. I don’t want “supervised” visits. How can I be certain that you won’t find some fault in me during one of them and ban me altogether?
You have your family. I have mine. And it is better for all of us this way.
I do love you, Dwayne. I always will, as if you’re my own flesh and blood. But I will not accept love without trust, when all we seem to do is hurt each other anymore. So, goodbye--for now, if you so choose.














