#thesimplemedium

Over the last few months I have been asked by a few clients for advice about how they could manage their own sensitivities to spirit energy.  At first, I didn’t think that I had any business giving people advice.  After all, I still very much feel like a rookie.  But then I realized that I have been on this journey for over 20 years, and I remember how lonely it was and how stressful it was.  I had no one to talk to about this.  I had no one to ask for advice.  And so I struggled alone.  So I asked myself what advice I would have liked during my journey… and I realized I had many answers to those questions today. So, I made a short list of a few pointers that I would give to anyone who is in this crazy boat with me.  I hope it helps.  :)

1. Listen and trust your spirit guides. Those voices you hear in your head that you know are not yours, those crazy dreams that end up coming true, those are your spirit guides.  Talk to them.  Get to know them.  Ask them their name.  And trust their message.  Understand that their messages need to be heard and validated, and they chose you as a messenger.  When you quiet your mind, you will be able to tell the difference between your voice and theirs.  With practice, you’ll be able to deliver their messages without anxiety and stress. Trust me, it will get easier.

2.  Have the courage to deliver your messages.  Usually, your spirit guide will start off small and gradually increase your messages.  And your guides will often give you messages for people you already know.  They usually will not expect you to do cold reads like telling your butcher about his late grandmother.  Be brave, and know you have a special ability that needs to be shared... even though some stupid people might think you’re nuts.

3.  DO NOT OVERANALYZE YOUR MESSAGES!!!!  The minute you second-guess your messages from your guide or spirits visiting you, or let your consciousness analyze them, you WILL SCREW IT UP!!!  Don’t worry about being wrong!  Just deliver it, and let the recipient figure it out.  Even if they don’t understand it at that moment, they will.

4.  Use visualization to help control your ability.  I live a very normal life.  I work full time, I’m a mom, and a wife and a sister and friend.  I have things to do and people to see.  I cannot spend all day talking to the voices in my head.  The anxiety of having all these voices in my head drove me crazy.  So I learned how to turn it on and off with meditation and visualization.  Now don’t get me wrong... when people said the word “meditation” to me, I rolled my eyes too.  How can someone who has voices in their head 24-7 try to quiet their mind and meditate????  But that is when I learned that meditation did not completely mean silencing the brain.  I use meditation to visualize turning on my ability and turning it off.  Start with picturing an awesome quiet space while deep breathing and then visualize some type of on/off switch.  I also use rosary beads to say a mantra that opens up the part of my head that is ready to receive spirits.  Once that part of my brain is open, I welcome all spirits who want to say hello to come through.  But once that part of my brain is shut off, they cannot not bug me.  It is very important to understand that you are in control of receiving messages - not the other way around.  Now, this doesn’t always work, but it controls much of my anxiety and keeps the voices in my head quieter so I can try to live a normal life.

5.  Finally, I strongly recommend you read about your ability.  Study it.  Choose books by good psychic mediums who have great advice.  I love John Edward, Lisa Williams and John Holland.  Stay away from the quacks - I won’t mention names.  Let your guide help you pick out a book that is right for you. 

When we lose something or someone in life, we go through the grief process.  Whether it is a job, a marriage or a loved one, we all go through the seven stages of grief.  Shock, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and finally, acceptance.  These are all phases we experience when a loss has hit us hard.  Sometimes we find ourselves stuck on one of those stages for a long time.  We can feel lost, hopeless, with no direction. But we all have the strength inside us to dig deep and rise above it.  Finally, when we reach the “acceptance” stage, we realize that we may have to start all over.

Now what???

The thought of starting over to most of us can be completely terrifying.  You have a mortgage, kids to feed, responsibilities.  But whether you are 20 or 70, starting over can be a good thing.  A great thing!  And it is totally possible.  If you lost a job or a marriage, or you have just realized that this is not the life you planned and you are just not happy, it is the start of amazing things.  It is a time where you can create the life you have always wanted.  Now, I’m not saying that you can leap off the cliff and into the abyss of happiness.  Starting over takes time, it takes patience, it takes planning.  First, visualize where you’d like your life to be.  And this is not something you can just do once.  Every night before bed, or every morning before you get up, see your dream in your mind - know in your heart that you can accomplish it.  Then make a plan.  Your plan should have realistic baby steps that lead to your dream life.  (If you build it, it will come!) And, of course, it doesn’t hurt to have faith and ask for a little help.  While you are visualizing your dream, ask God for a little guidance and assistance.  He will show you the way.

If you lost a loved one, especially a spouse, starting over may be different for you.  It doesn’t necessarily mean jumping back into the dating scene and getting remarried.  Starting over just means not giving in to the emptiness in your heart and refilling it with new experiences.  Know that your loved one watching over you does not want you to live a stagnate life, they want you to live the life you have always dreamed of.  Live FOR them.  Get out there and experience life.  It may mean meeting new people, or taking that new job out of state, or traveling to a place a parent or friend always wanted to but never got the chance.  They are with you, every step of the way.

Today, I can do it!!!

I woke up thinking this as I planned to put thesimplemedium up on Facebook.  I have been terrified of Facebook since the day it became public.  And that was just “normal” Ailish - forget about the “medium” Ailish.  I didn’t want people finding me - spying on me.  I didn’t need the anxiety it brought of comparing my life with others.  But today, I was ready.  This year has been all about being my genuine self, coming out of my comfort zone and not being afraid to tell people that I am a medium.  And it has been amazing. People love what I do and embrace it with open arms.  Being a medium has allowed me to really help people and I am so grateful for that.  So I’m branching out!  Facebook, here I come!

Who Am I?

Well, that is a really good question.  I still to this day have trouble saying out loud, “I’m a medium.”  As I sit here, trying to put my thoughts and ideas and feelings into words I wonder if this is what it feels like to be at your first AA meeting.  Nervous and anxious, but yet, relieved to finally confess your deepest, most precious secret.  “Hi, my name is Ailish and I am a medium.”  Although I think in my case instead of a jovial “Hi, Ailish!” that you would stereotypically get at an AA meeting, my audience’s reaction would be more filled with smirks, eye rolling and probably a “Who is this loon?”  I know that’s how I would react if someone said that to me.  But I guess that’s why I kept this a secret for almost 40 years.  I don’t want to be judged any more than anyone else.  And to be honest, I’ve worked really hard during this life to appear normal.  If you saw me at the supermarket you would think “Total Soccer Mom.”  But only a select few knew what was really going on in my head.

I’ve had voices in my head for as long as I can remember.  I knew as a young girl that I was talking to angels.  I just knew that’s who they were.  I thought everyone had voices in their heads.  So they never scared me.  I didn’t know any different.  They were just always there.  It wasn’t until I was in my 20s - when I started to know stuff before they happened - that I started to freak out about it.  I knew that definitely wasn’t normal.  I began to slowly realize that not everyone had these people talking to them in their heads, and it would probably be best if I just kept quiet about it.  So I did.

But over time, I got married (it’s pretty hard to hide visits from dead people when you live with someone) and developed strong friendships with people who I could trust.  And my secret eventually leaked out.  So, oh, about 20 years later, here I am.  Now don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t like one day I woke up and said, “Today, I am going to talk to your dead Aunt Bertha!”  It took me years of studying and practice - not to mention the need to muster up the courage to say out loud “I am a medium”.  I slowly perfected my techniques, practiced on some great friends, and now I am able to bridge the lives here with the lives there pretty easily. And it’s pretty fricken magical!

Today is a HUGE step for me! I am announcing my website and writing my first blog!!! I am completely stepping out of the shadows of fear and insecurity that I have hid behind for so long.  Today is the day that I start my new chapter.  It might even be a new book, who knows.  But I am confident enough to take this new journey as the person I am meant to be.  I am a medium.  I speak to people who no longer exist here as we know it.  I can hear them, see them, and feel them.  And I am really good at, too. I’ve been very blessed to have developed a great group of clients over the years, but I knew I was supposed to do more.  So, with the help of an amazing friend, I created my website and blog to reach out to those who need my help with contacting their loved ones who have crossed over.  It’s called  www.thesimplemedium.com.  I called it “The Simple Medium” because that’s pretty much who I am.  I like to keep things simple, and I think my clients do too.  I am so very proud of it!!!

Thank you to all of you who have held my hand and supported me over the last few years!!!  I love you all!!!

Till next time ~