#theotherone

MOAMETAL

Neal Cassady was born on this day in 1926, Salt Lake City, Utah. Would been 95. Happy Birthday Neal!

Introducing the Uncanny Valley with Sex and the City 2

First coined by Masahiro Mori, then a professor at the Tokyo Institute of Technology, the ‘Uncanny Valley’ refers to renderings of human faces which become more appealing in their accuracy- that is, until we hit a certain point, termed ‘the Uncanny Valley’.

Just like reaching the 2 minute marker in ‘2 Girls, 1 Cup’, the Uncanny Valley leads the viewer to suddenly experience a high level of disgust, anxiety, and constipation, as they perceive a passable, and yet discernibly false representation of the human body. Which brings me to Kim Cattrall.

Cattrell is one of the stars of Sex and the City 2 (Michael Patrick King) which has proved such a huge hit with film critics that UNESCO recently appointed it a World Heritage Site, with the description; “a large comedic goldmine which can be found in Hollywood’s more shameful hills.”

Released in 2010, the film received immediate praise for its poster design and ending credits music. Criminally, however, its revolutionary animation and outstanding visual effects went unnoticed - in what can only be described as a tribute to their skill and expertise. I can now exclusively reveal that almost 90% of the film was in fact CGI.

It is this knowledge that finally explains the feelings of discomfort and illness that plagued some viewers of the film at its premiere. As Carrie’s (Sarah Jessica Parker) heavily edited face smirks towards Mr Big, a man so dull he absorbs light, we can see that despite their best efforts, neither is truly, definitively human. Even with lighting, cinematography and some gentle angling; it soon becomes clear that no character in this film is 3D.

It's evident even in the film’s promotional posters. Here, the Uncanny Valley comes alive as four hand-drawn faces struggle to hold their unblemished limbs like living, water-drinking homosapiens. It even leaks into the plot. All of the main characters’ issues and conflicts appear to have forced them to experience emotions. However, this has actually been caused by a lavish and stifling wardrobe, worn until all four women are oxygen deprived and view pouring bleach onto every rose-tinted memory of their famed 80s TV show to be a good idea.

There are some more major slip-ups. Designers of Miranda (Cynthia Nixon) appear to have been designated the lowest budget, and her feminist moment of standing up to her misogynistic new manager is as unconvincing as R-Kelly’s Wikipedia page. Here, an attempt at a genuine human woman is swiftly quashed as she quits her huge and well paid New York job in favour of her son’s dumbass preschool presentation. Mirandabot’s wires become noticeable as she is instead edited into silly-lady-boss-who-learns-her-place-and-starts-breastfeeding-again.