Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop? >> Not even when I literally lived a half-hour’s walk away. It’s the worst kind of event I can imagine.

Is January anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) >> Nope.

FEBRUARY 2020

Were you single? >> No.

Who was your Valentine? >> I mean, I have a spouse...

When you were little did you buy Valentine’s for the whole class? >> I did not. Other kids did, I remember it being a thing, but I did not.

Do you care if the groundhog sees its shadow or not? >> No.

What did you receive for Valentine’s day? >> We went out to a cocktails and chocolates event. It was a lot of fun, and also the last thing we got to do before the lockdowns started happening.

What did you give for Valentine’s Day? >> ---

Is February anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) >> No.

MARCH 2020

Are you Irish? >> No.

Do you like corned beef and cabbage? >> I’ve never had that exact meal, but I do love cabbage in general.

What did you do for St Patrick’s Day? >> Nothing.

Are you happy when winter is pretty much over? >> I am always very happy when winter is over. Unfortunately, that’s a little later in the year around these parts (try late April, at best).

Is March anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) >> No.

APRIL 2020

Do you like the rain? >> Sometimes.

Did you play an April fool’s joke on anyone this year? >> No.

Do you get tons of candy for Easter? >> No.

Do you celebrate 4/20? >> No.

Do you love the month of April? >> I don’t have any feelings about it, but I do like that you can really feel spring on the horizon by April.

Is April anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) >> No.

MAY 2020

What is your favorite flower? >> Sunflower.

Finish the phrase “April showers…”: >> I’m sure I don’t have to.

Do you celebrate May 16th: National Piercing Day? >> Nope.

Is May anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) >> Yeah, my birthday.

JUNE 2020

What year did/will you graduate from high school? >> I graduated in 2004.

Did you do anything fun during this Month? >> Nope.

Have a favorite baseball team? >> Nope.

Is June anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) >> Nope.

JULY 2020

What did you do on the 4th of July? >> I don’t do anything on the Fourth of July, it might as well be any other day to me.

Did you go to the fireworks? >> Of course not. I hunkered down in my room and prayed for it all to end.

Did you blast the A/C all day? >> We usually don’t blast the A/C, except when Sparrow sleeps in the living room on hot nights (the A/C is in the living room). I don’t fare well under A/C long-term.

Is July anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) >> No.

AUGUST 2020

Did you have a sunburn? >> Certainly not.

Did you go to the pool a lot? >> No.

Did you go out of town? >> Funny kind of question to put in a 2020 survey. Unfortunately, the answer is yes, because we did go to a different town to go to this one restaurant because Sparrow’s niece was visiting... idfk. I just know it sucked and I thought it was a stupid idea the whole time.

Is August anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.) >> No.

SEPTEMBER 2020

Are you attending college/school? >> No.

Do you like fall better than summer? >> By the time fall hits, I do. But I love summer too, it just gets old after a few months.

What happened this month? >> Nothing that I can recall.

Is September anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.): >> No.

OCTOBER 2020

Whats your favorite candy? >> I like this mango hard candy that has chili and sea salt on the inside.

What was your favorite thing(s)about this month? >> In 2020, nothing, really.

What are you planning to be for Halloween? >> The fact that this is future tense makes me reconsider my assumption that this survey was about 2020 and not just... about months in general and “2020″ is just there for some reason...

Are you going to be trick or treating? >> I don’t trick-or-treat.

Is October anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.): >> Wedding anniversary, Sparrow’s birthday.

NOVEMBER 2020

Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving? >> On normal years, Sparrow’s parents’.

What are you going thankful for this year?: >> Meh.

Do you love stuffing? >> I do, but only if it’s got some texture and isn’t just mush. I hate it when people actually stuff the turkey with it, it’s gross.

Anything exciting happen this month? >> Nope. Oh, there was an election or something.

Is November anything special to you? (Birthdays, Anniversaries, Vacations, etc.): >> No.

DECEMBER 2020

Do you celebrate Christmas? >> I... guess.

Have you ever been kissed under the mistletoe? >> I don’t think so.

Get anything special last year? >> Yeah, I got three books!

What do you love most about December? >> The winter holiday season, usually, but... idk.

6. Do you know how to dab? >> This is the second time I’ve seen this question on a survey with no clarification as to what kind of dabbing we’re talking about.

7. Do you have any clothing that looks drab? >> Maybe to someone who prefers to wear brighter colours.

8. Do you use abbreviations in place of longer words? Do you ever refer to something as “fab”? >> Yeah, I use abbreviations, lmao. No, that’s not one I’ve used.

9. Does you body have any excess flab? Where? >> I don’t know. Next.

10. Who do you know that likes to gab a lot? What do they go on and on about? >> I don’t know, man. I’m not scrutinising other people’s talking, like there’s a certain amount of talking that’s “acceptable” and anything beyond that is excessive. That seems ridiculous to me.

11. When’s the last time someone jabbed you with a needle? >> I guess when I got a flu shot last year.

12. Did you have a science lab class during school? >> ---

13. Have you ever nabbed something from a store before? What was it? >> Have I ever shoplifted? Yes, many times.

14. Do you know anyone who’s been to rehab? What were they in for? >> As far as I’m aware, no.

15. How many backstabbers have you cut from your life? >> I don’t know any backstabbers.

16. Do you pick at your scabs? >> No, I’m pretty good about just leaving wounds alone. Which is strange, considering I do have a picking problem elsewhere.

17. What’s the last slab of meat you’ve eaten? >> The last time I ate meat was in May.

18. Is anything in your house looking shabby? >> Probably? We’ve lived here a while, most everything looks some level of worn/used.

19. When’s the last time you felt crabby? Why? >> I don’t know.

20.  Who’s the last person you wanted to stab? What did they do in order to make you feel that way? >> My homicidal impulses are usually directed at my neighbours.

21. How many tabs are open on your internet browser right now? >> Five.

22. Has anyone ever tried to get grabby with you when you didn’t want them to? >> Certainly.

23. What would you put on a Krabby Patty? >> I don’t... what.

24. Do you know anyone named Abby? >> No.

25. Do you have one of those grabber claws that helps you grasp things that are out of reach? >> I don’t, but sometimes I think about getting one for the convenience.

26. Do you like to play Scrabble? Are you any good at it. >> I haven’t played Scrabble in over a decade, I have no idea if I’d enjoy it at this point or not.

27. Is it cute when babies babble? What do you think they’re trying to say? >> I mean, it’s just... what they do, I guess. I don’t have any particular emotional response to it. I don’t think they’re trying to say anything specific, I think they’re just aping the rest of us.

28. What’s the last thing you dabbled in/with? >> I don’t know.

29. Do you have any dividers or folders with any tabs on them? >> Nope.

30. Did your parents keep close tabs on you when you were a teenager? >> Well, yes.

31. How high has your bar tab been? >> Eh, not too high, I guess. Maybe 50 bucks, tops.

6. Baa Baa Black Sheep: Do you own any clothing made out of wool? >> I don’t think so.

7. Ring Around the Rosie: Did you know that this childhood song/nursery rhyme is actually about The Black Death? >> I’ve heard that.

8. Five Little Ducks: Have you ever gotten lost before? >> Yeah.

9. I’m a Little Teapot: What is your favorite flavor/type of tea to drink? >> I like herbal teas, particularly ginger and mint. I also like vanilla chai and the occasional fruit variety.

10. Hokey Pokey: How were you taught to understand the difference between your left and right sides? >> I don’t remember how I was taught this.

11. Old MacDonald Had a Farm: What is your favorite farm animal? >> Sheep and goats are adorable. But so are cows, especially those fluffy ones... Regardless of their cuteness, though, I couldn’t be around any farm animal for long because the smell would slowly kill me.

12. Make up your own lyric for “Down By The Bay”. >> Ha, I used to sing this song to myself repeatedly for like hours when I was a kid. I’d rather not make up my own lyric for it now, though.

13. Little Miss Muffet: Would you be terrified if a spider sat down beside you? >> Nah. I am also a spider. I like visiting with my kin.

14. Rockabye Baby: Do you feel that this is a more calming or terrifying lullaby for children? >> I just think it’s funny, because like... yeah. Why the fuck is the baby in the tree, lmao. Nursery rhymes are wild.

15. Hickory Dickory Dock: What are you usually doing when the clock strikes 1? >> AM or PM? If PM, I’m probably gaming or something. If AM, I’m asleep.

16. Pat-a-Cake: What’s your favorite thing to bake/baked good to eat? >> I don’t bake, and I have no idea what my favourite baked good would be... a good bread, I guess??

17. Why do we stomp our feet if we’re “Happy and We Know It”? Shouldn’t we be doing this when we’re angry instead? >> Eh, I guess you could do it for almost any emotion if you put your mind to it.

18. The Wheels on the Bus: Where’s the furthest you’ve ever gone on a bus before? >> From Colorado to NYC. On two different occasions. Definitely not an experience I’d ever care to repeat.

19. Row, Row, Row Your Boat: Do you enjoy boating? (ie: cruises, kayaking, canoeing, white water rafting, etc) >> I’ve never been boating. I’ve been on ferries? Oh, and once I went to a concert on a boat. That was fun.

20. 3 Blind Mice: Do you know someone who is blind? >> No.

21. 3 Little Kittens: Do you prefer gloves or mittens when getting dressed for chilly weather? >> Gloves, if I must.

22. Jack Be Nimble: Do you enjoy lighting scented candles? >> I mean, sometimes, I guess. I burn incense most often, though.

23. Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear: Have you ever made a teddy bear or any other sort of stuffed animal at Build-a-Bear? If not, do you still have a favorite teddy bear/stuffed animal from your childhood? >> Yeah! I have a dog named Reese from there, I love him. Sparrow has an owl, a Pikachu, and a Squirtle, hah.

24. 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed: Have you ever cracked your head open before and needed stitches? >> Nope. I’ve definitely tried to crack my head open, lmao, but I wasn’t any good at it. (Thankfully.)

25. Hey Diddle Diddle: The cat plays a fiddle. What instrument would you like to play? >> Meh. I like singing.

26. Mary Had a Little Lamb: Have you ever brought a pet to school for show and tell before? >> No. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced show-and-tell, actually. I thought it was made up for like movies and shit, lol.

27. Once I Caught a Fish Alive: If you go fishing, do you release the fish afterwards, or do you take them home and cook them? >> I don’t go fishing, but if I did, it wouldn’t be just for the sake of it. I’d prefer to eat the fish afterward.

28. Little Jack Horner: What is your favorite flavor of pie? >> Hmm... sweet potato. Also, apple.

29. Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary: Do you have a garden? What do you plant in it? >> No, we just have a fuckload of potted plants because Sparrow likes them.

30. Miss Mary Mack: Do you wear clothing with a lot of buttons? >> No.

31. Old Mother Hubbard: What is your favorite food to keep in your cupboard? >> Er, I don’t know.

32. There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe: Do you have a lot of siblings growing up? Did you enjoy it? Why or why not? >> I was raised as an only child.

33. This Little Piggy: Do you like roast beef? >> No.

34. Rain, Rain Go Away: Have you ever played outside in the rain before? >> I mean, probably.

35. It’s Raining, It’s Pouring: Do you know someone who snores very loudly? >> Not anymore. My father was notorious for this.

36. Star Light, Star Bright: Do you ever wish on stars? Has one of your wishes actually come true before? >> No.

37. Here is the Beehive: Are you allergic to bees? Do you know anyone who is? Do you enjoy eating honey? >> I don’t know, I’ve never been stung by one. I don’t remember if I know anyone who is allergic. I love eating honey.

38. If All the Raindrops Were Lemon Drops and Gumdrops: What food would you want to rain down from the sky: >> I definitely would not want food to rain down from the sky, lmao.

39. Little Boy Blue: Have you ever slept anywhere other than a bed before? Where?                       >> Yeah. Tiled floors, subway cars, subway platforms, the sidewalk, couches, parks...

40. Do You Know the Muffin Man?: What is your favorite type of muffin to eat? >> I haven’t had a muffin in ages. I’m pretty sure I just don’t care for them.

41. Wee Willie Winkie: Have you ever sleepwalked before? >> No. Lmao, can you imagine being a sleepwalker while sleeping on the streets? That’d be fucked up...

42. B-I-N-G-O: If you had a dog, what would you name it? >> I don’t know, it would depend on the dog.

43. Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Little Dog Gone?: Has your pet ever run away from home before? Did it get returned? >> That apparently happened when I was a preteen. We didn’t even have the dog for a full month before he somehow escaped.

44. How Much Is That Doggie in the Window?: What’s the most you would spend when adopting a dog? >> I don’t know, man. I’m not even sure what the going rates are.

45. This Old Man: Do you own any knick-knacks? >> I guess I have a few.

46. 1, 2, Buckle My Shoe: When did you learn to tie your own sneakers? >> I have no idea.

6. Where and when was the first time you kissed them?: >> Oh, damn. I have no idea where I was. Maybe in 7F? Maybe in a shelter? Who knows, by now. 9 years ago may as well be 90 years ago, to my memory.

7. When did you last speak to them?: >> We have a running dialogue that kind of ebbs and flows throughout the day, so I can’t really say when the last time we interacted was.

8. How tall are they?: >> Inworld, he’s a bit shorter than I am.

9. How did you meet?: >> I have no recollection of what it was like when we first met. I know when he first got here, there were a few others already here, and he kind of existed in the background for a while until he got comfortable. Oh, I do vaguely remember that he was just a voice and a glow at first. It took a while for him to fully manifest.

10. Do you know their phone number?: >> ---

11. Was the kiss short and sweet or long and passionate?: >> I mean, it was... whatever it was.

12. Did you enjoy the kiss?: >> Sure did.

13. Are they male or female?: >> Male.

14. Name a random fact about them?: >> He ain’t from ‘round here. That’s a random fact. Every other fact I can think of requires like a few paragraphs of context and I’m not about that life right now, lmao.

15. How do they feel about you?: >> Oh, he thinks I’m all right. You know. Insert sappy quote here.

16. What color is their hair?: >> White.

17. What about their eyes?: >> I had to stop and think. I think it changes sometimes, I’ve lost track. But one eye is always all-white.

18. Do they have braces or glasses?: >> No.

19. Why did you kiss them?: >> Because, uh, stuff. You know. ~