#theme 003

But before he can go and watch some TV, there are other things he needs to take care of first.

Cautiously, he opens the door to the twins’ room. Amedea and Kotaro are fast asleep, and Leo smiles, when he watches them for a moment. They are fine.

His next check is Rosabella’s room, but his niece is just as peacefully asleep as the twins are.

His last stop is going to take longer, he knows it the moment he opens the door to Jiro’s nursery. Something drags him inside, and for a moment, Leo is afraid something might have happened to his youngest son.

He can’t get over to his crib fast enough while not making any sound. There’s no need to wake and scare little Jiro, no matter how scared Leo himself is.

He watches closely, examines the little body, looking for a sign that something really is wrong, but Leo can’t find anything.

Jiro’s breathing is steady, and his face doesn’t show any sign of him having nightmares or anything.

Jiro is fine, too.

Leo lets out a sigh of relief as he sinks down to the floor.

He hugs his knees, letting his chin rest on top and keeps watching his youngest.

He doesn’t know why he is so worried about him. Yes, Leo has always been a great worrier, but now all his worries seem to concentrate on this little being, this fragily little baby turtle.

Oh, sure, he’s worried about Amy and Kota, too, and Donnie, and Rosie, Raph and Mikey, April and Casey, Master Splinter, even mutants or people that aren’t as close to him as his family.

Leo always worries.

And that’s okay. He’s learned to live with it, to keep it at bay.

But ever since Donnie’s second pregnancy the worries had grown again. Talking about it had helped, but they had been there still, and now his worries seem to circle around Jiro mostly.

He hasn’t told anyone about it yet.

Aside from being a father and a mate, he still is their leader. It’s his duty to worry about them. But it’s also his duty to not burden them with his worries for as long as possible.

He watches Jiro sleep.

He’s such a sweet little baby, always smiling when he’s awake. Well, except when you put him into his playpen, that is. It’s still a miracle to Leo how such a little baby can make so much noise.

But for the rest of the time, Jiro is a real sunshine.

He even looks like he’s smiling when he’s asleep, Leo realizes and it makes him smile, too.

So what is it that makes him worry so much about Jiro?

He can’t really answer that, he just worries.

That something is going to happen to Jiro.

That Leo wouldn’t be there in time to save him.

That Leo would be there, but couldn’t save him.

It’s hard. Leo just wants to protect this precious, fragile life from all the harms in the world, yet he isn’t even able to protect him when his siblings are mean to him.

Leo knows it’s natural. They are just being jealous of all the attention Jiro gets, the attention that was previously reserved for them. And now they have to share. Really, Leo gets it.

It’s just that he’s hoped that with being twins, these two knew how to share. But he’s been wrong.

When Amy and Kota get angry with Jiro, it just breaks Leo’s heart every time.

Amy finally warming up to Jiro and now even playing with him has made his life so much easier, but Kota still watches Jiro with glaring eyes and makes sure he doesn’t get anywhere near his favorite teddy. And when he does, Kota will do anything to get his teddy back. It usually ends with a crying Jiro and a really angry Kota, hugging his teddy for all it’s worth, tears of anger glistening in his eyes.

And as much as Leo wants to, there’s nothing he can do about it. Yes, he can tell Kota to be nice to his brother, he can make sure that Kota really is nice to him, but he can’t force Kota to actually mean it. He can’t force Kota to enjoy spending time with his little brother when in fact, he wants to be anywhere but near to his brother.

Doesn’t he see? He and Amy and Jiro and Rosie and Mikey and Raph’s unborn child, they are each a miracle of their own.

Neither Leo nor one of his brothers ever knew it was even possible for them to have children, heck, Leo hasn’t even known he’d ever be able to truly love someone and be loved in return.

All of this is so great and awesome and just wonderful, Leo doesn’t want anything to disturb their life together, no enemy, no threat, not even an angry big brother being jealous of his baby brother.

And yet there’s nothing he can do about it. He can just sit here and watch his youngest child sleep, hoping that tomorrow everything is going to be better, and if it isn’t, maybe the day after tomorrow or the day after that. And he’ll keep on hoping until it finally becomes true.

He’ll never give up hope.

“Leo?”

He almost jumps at the sound of his name, although it’s just a whisper.

He quickly turns his head and finds Donnie standing in the door of the nursery watching him with concerned eyes.

“Did I wake you? I’m sorry!” Leo replies in a low voice.

Donnie shakes his head and silently walks over to him.

“You didn’t,” he says. “You know I can’t sleep well when you aren’t lying next to me.”

He smiles at Leo, and Leo tries to return the smile, but it’s only a weak attempt.

It’s only then that he realizes the moisture in his eyes. He turns back to Jiro and hopes that Donnie didn’t see.

If he did, Donnie hides it well. He just puts his hand on Leo’s head, stroking it.

It feels so gentle and warm and just right.

Leo really has to try hard to blink all the tears away.

“He…,” he starts, but his voice sounds too close to tears for his own taste, so he breaks off, silently clears his throat and tries again.

This time, his voice sounds steady. That’s good.

“He’s wonderful,” Leo says.

“I know,” Donnie replies.

“They all are,” Leo goes.

“I know,” Donnie replies again.

They keep silent for a little while, watching Jiro in his sleep.

At some point Donnie stops stroking Leo’s head, and when Leo turns to see what’s going on he finds Donnie holding out his hand to him.

“Come,” Donnie says. “Let’s go back to bed.”

Leo takes one more look at Jiro.

“It’s okay, Leo,” Donnie says, his voice kind and soothing. “He’s fine.”

Leo turns his head to Donnie, and there he is, smiling warmly and still holding out his hand to him.

And Leo hears what Donnie wants to say with this.

We’re all going to be fine, Leo. Everything is okay the way it is.

And for the first time in months, Leo can actually believe it.

He nods and takes Donnie’s hand.

The smile on his mate’s face deepens, and Leo let Donnie guide him back to their bedroom.

Back in their bed, still holding hands, Leo finally feels how sleep is coming over him like a warm and oh so welcome wave.

Before sleep takes over, Leo squeezes Donnie’s hand, a gesture his mate returns.

“Thank you, Donnie,” Leo whispers, half asleep already.

And before he enters the world of restful, dreamless sleep he hears Donnie’s reply.

“No, thank you, Leo.”