#thekelleysiblings

Your letter is the last and hardest letter I have had to write. 

I'm so sorry, I want you to know I love you. So much. But I just couldn't go on in this pain. I can't keep living for everyone else when I feel so dead inside. I've accepted that I am dying and watching everyone live their lives around me so freely, so blind to the possibility of death..why cant I have that? Why can't I be free? I guess soon I will be..

You're incredibly strong and amazing. I want you to never forget about me, okay? Keep going. Put that gorgeous smile of your on your face and face each day with the attitude that you're going to be alright, because you are. 

I love you and I hope you forgive me for what I have done and keep me in your heart, because it's where I've always felt happiest and safest. I'm always listening if you need to talk to me, and one day, far from now, I will see you again. But please, don't ever fear moving on, I want nothing more than for you to be happy.

Now this may be crazy, but hell, I have nothing to lose anymore. I want you to have the house, I don't care if you move in or sell it. The paperwork was transferred into my name when my dad died and it's mine to do with as I please. You said it's cramped in the Stuart household, so here, you don't have to be cramped anymore. Sell it and buy a place with less memories or rent somewhere and use the money for you, I don't care, I just want you to be okay, I'm not around to help you out with cash anymore if you need it, so I want to make sure you're taken care of.      And can you make sure my puppies find a safe home? You know how much I love my babies, especially Sophie.

You are forever my princess.

All my love,

Your Ronnie.

I know you moved and I know we haven't talked in a while, but if you're reading this that means I'm no longer here. No longer living. Now, before you freak out, please let me explain to you what has been going on since you left. I was diagnosed with cancer seven months ago, lung cancer, the same as my mother. The doctors said we had to attack it with fervor and I would be okay.

What no one pick up until recently was that the chemo was damaging my heart and by the time it was identified, the damage was too extreme. I'm taking pills tonight, with the damage to my heart, it shouldn't take much to end all this pain.

Please don't hate me, I'm so unhappy, I'm so terrified and I've watched myself slip away to a shell of the girl you once knew. Drugs are my best friend, I now see why you struggled with them before, they're great at numbing the pain. I'm a bald freak who's body looks like a skeleton. I'm not the Ronnie you remember. I hate this me.

But maybe it's for the best that you left, you didn't have to see me fade, watch me crumble. Keep the memories of me smiling and dancing like a fool in your heart. Remember when you took me on our best friend date? You are still, to this day, the only boy who has danced with me like that, out of nowhere with no one around. Remember food fights in my kitchen? Or nerf wars against me and Jonah? How about all those nights I stole you away from Christian and we cuddled and laughed and cried and gossiped. Those are some of my favorite memories and I will always keep them close to me.

But now you're gone, and so am I. I love you, always have, always will. Promise me to stay strong, stay beautiful, stay you. You'll always be my Nickle-Nip, my savior, my brother, my bucket-list friend. I've missed you so much, it's kind of like I'm living without air. I thought I was going to die when you left, but knowing that you're happy and living your life with the ones you love kept me going. 

You've been there for me through thick and thin, and I've come to the conclusion that when you've dealt with so much hell, more than one should deserve in a lifetime, that means your expiration is near. I want to control when I go, not with a fizzle, but with a bang, am I right? I'm happier now. Safe and smiling down on you, don't be sad, I'm always in your heart.

Don't forget me.

Love you always,

Your sunshine, Ronnie.

I know I've been a bitch recently, I know things haven't been easy and I know it's no excuse. I know a part of you hates me for how this ended and I knew that was going to happen, but I want you to know I've always loved you. You're my best friend. I want you to hold yourself together for me, okay? I'm not saying you can't be sad, but just promise me I won't be seeing you soon because I will never forgive you if you don't move on with life.

I know it hurts to lose a friend, but you can make it through, one day at a time. I will always be with you, please know that. The sun on your face is me, the creaks in the night, the pillow you cling to when you cry, the shadow on the ground, the whisper in the wind, those are all me. I will never leave your side Lexie. When things get tough and you need someone to talk to, know I'm always listening.

Keep your chin up and a smile on your face, no matter how hard it is to hold it there, do it. And one day, sometime, it'll be real, until you finally move on. Life moves forward, you need to go with it. Please don't forget me.

Love you always and forever.

Always with you, 

So I know our relationship has been back and forth, from best friends to hating what I did to your sister, but please understand. I saw what losing Jasper did to you and I knew I wasn't going to be around much longer, I needed Abby to hate me, to be mad at me, to see that she already made it through the day without me, she can do it again. But we always seem to come together again, and of course, that's what we did.

You were like a big sister to me and although I knew you would always take Abby's side, I still knew you loved me, still knew you cared. 

If you're reading this, that means the pills I took did the job. I couldn't continue to mutter through the day, hurting and watching my mother cry at the sight of me. There was no more point and now there's no more pulse. I'm happy now. I'm free and I'll see you again someday. Stay strong and take care of yourself, I know all you sisters will look out for each other. Don't be afraid to talk to people, they just want you to be happy. As do I.

I will always love you.

Keep me in your heart,

She pulled a box of letters out from under her bed and sighed, there were ones addressed to Abigail, Alex, Belle, Nick, Rayne and Michael. She felt tears misting her eyes as she walked to the bathroom, grabbing her pain killers and heart medication, it was ridiculous all the pills she was supposed to take. She clicked on her computer and brought up her video recorder, watching as her face came on the screen, she bit her lip as tears rolled down her face just at seeing her own reflection.

"Hi mommy, hi Jojo. I'm so sorry..but I can't do this anymore. I can't keep living as a walking skeleton. I-I can't keep watching you cry mom, I can't-I can't keep seeing Jonah stare at me like I'm going to drop dead any moment. You two were going to leave me and I just can't do this on my own, so I'm sorry I have to do this, but I'm living to die. I just watch my friend's look at me with sad eyes and it's driving me insane. I never wanted to be that girl everyone pitied, but now here I am, I'm that girl and it hurts so bad."

She shook her head and looked down at her hands for a moment, letting out a few shaky breaths before continuing. "I'm just tired. I have no motivation to get out of bed in the morning. I say no to hanging out with friends just because I get mad at people who don't deserve it. I get upset over the littlest and stupidest things. I snap at people all the time and most of the time I don't even understand the things I do or why I do them in the first place. I'm crying all the time.."

Another shaky breath. Another wipe of the tears. "I'm sorry to you mommy, and Jonah, and to all my friends, to everyone who just doesn't understand. I wish I could let you inside my head because I feel like you all see me as an over dramatic bitch. I'm just too sensitive and I can't help it. I don't want to be this way anymore, I don't want to hurt, I hope you can understand.."

Ronnie grabbed the pills off the desk, pouring a combination of pain killers and heart medication into her hand. "Goodbye." She took a hand full and poured them into her mouth, washing the huge bunch down with a lot of water and staring at the screen for one last moment with tears down her face before reaching forward and shutting off the camera, leaving the page open for her mom to easily find in the morning. 

"Now to say goodnight to Abby.." She muttered, not yet feeling the kick of the pills. Ronnie dialed up her girlfriend's number and coughed a few times, trying to get her voice to sound normal and not like she had just been crying. All she got on the other end was Abby's voicemail and with the sudden tingling feeling that was hitting Ronnie, she knew it was going to have to be enough. "Hey beautiful girlfriend of mine, just calling to say goodnight and tell you I love you. I know you and your sisters had something to do tonight so if you're still out having fun, don't worry about calling me back, I'm going to bed right now. Sweet dreams, princess, I-I love you." The last words caused Ronnie to pause, feeling suddenly choked up. "I have never loved someone as much as I do you, please remember that, baby girl. Anyway, I'm getting really dizzy- tired! I meant tired! heh, um, ya. Well goodnight, I love you, ya, I already said that, um, goodbye."

Ronnie felt the tears slide down her cheeks as she grabbed the big teddy bear Abby had given her when they first started dating and crawled into bed. She smiled at the memory of when the two went to the carnival, it was a cliche moment where she thought Abby was going to try to win her a stuffed animal, but instead of actually winning the bear, Abby just payed the guy ten bucks and he gave it to her, in which, Abby gave it to Ronnie. She named it Albert after the dorky guy who was singing karaoke on the stage while the small band was taking a break. The two laughed at how terrible yet dedicated he was to finishing the song and ended up dancing in the middle of a few tables, with everyone staring, to. "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain, covered by Albert something..

With that happy memory, she let the intense effect of the pills take over, and she slipped into sleep not long later, her life peacefully and painlessly leaving the world forever.

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It was only a couple hours or so later when Ronnie's mom walked in, coming to ask her daughter where something was. Hesitantly, Karen knocked on the door, calling inside to Ronnie with no response. It didn't surprise her, the two had been fighting every moment they were around each other. 

"Ronnie, sweetie?" Karen called gently as she opened the door, noticing the girl curled up on the bed, oh, she was sleeping. Karen walked over to the closest side of the bed from the door, rubbing Ronnie's arm as her back was turned from her. That's when she noticed how cold the frail girl was. "Ronnie, hey, wake up." She tried a couple more times before finally rolling her body over towards her and quickly sucking in a puff of air, her body going stiff as her daughter's arm slipped from it's hold on the bear and landed cold in her lap.

"No, no, no, no, Ronnie wake up!" Karen desperately looked around, noticing the stack of letters at her daughter's computer, what looked like a video ready for view on the screen, Ronnie's face on the frozen screen. The medication bottles were both open and practically empty beside the letter. As Karen tried so desperately to wake up her daughter, Jonah stood in the doorway unnoticed, watching his mother fall over Ronnie's body in tears and in an instant, he knew what had happened. He knew she was gone. His young mind didn't piece together suicide, he just knew she was gone and it must have been from the cancer, from her failing heart.

He walked to the computer after seeing his mom countlessly look at it  ever few moments, back and forth from the screen to her dead daughter. Karen didn't realize Jonah was in the room till she head the video click on. "Hi mommy, hi Jojo. I'm so sorry..but I can't do this anymore." "Jonah.." Karen whispered, her voice raw, but the younger boy didn't look back, just watched his bigger sister on the screen as he cried, his sobs audible.

'Ronnie knew she was going to die. Ronnie made a video. If Ronnie knew she was going to die why didn't she say any-.' Jonah's mind stoped questioning as he watched Ronnie swallow a handful of pills. 'Ronnie killed herself..' It all became apparent in the younger boy's mind and he couldn't watch the scene any longer, turning around to see Ronnie's body on the bed, slowly reaching out to hold her hand.

MAYBE SHE DOESN’T LIKE THAT KIND

SHE JUST ATE IT WAHEY

what would make you think that cat would want that give the bitch some tuna man

BUT SHE EATS EVERYTHING

LIKE ILL NOT BE LOOKING AT MY DINNER AND SHE'LL USE HER PAW TO GET SOMETHING OFF THE PLATE

AND SHE EATS MY CEREAL WITH ME