Study Shows Cannabis Cures Homosexuality, Southern States Line Up to Legalize
A study conducted by The Intelligence Institute published in the February 2106 issue of The American Journal of Sociopsychiatric Medicine has proven that compounds found in cannabis, called cannabinoids, are reversing the brain patterns and behaviors associated with both male and female homosexuality. The study showed that 85% of the subjects became ‘less gay’ or completely straight after 17 days of cannabis treatment.
The cannabis sativa L plant synthesizes phytochemicals known as cannabinoids. The only natural source of cannabinoids is the cannabis plant. These compounds include tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), cannabidiol (CBD), cannabichromene (CBC) and others. These compounds interact with the human endogenous cannabinoid system, a series of receptors in the body that control, mood, appetite, sleep, pain, and immune function. Previous studies have concluded that cannabidiol is a neuroprotectant and restores healthy brain function after traumatic injury. These studies led to the United States government to patenting cannabinoids as neuroprotectants and antioxidants.
Researchers postulated that cannabis' neuroprotectant properties could cure homosexuality by 'restoring normal brain activity’ and began administering medical cannabis preparations to openly gay men and women in a double blind study.
The 2000 participants were self-identified members of the LGBTQ community. Half the participants were given 20 mg of cannabis extract while the other half received a placebo.
After just 3 weeks of cannabis treatment, 85% of the subjects receiving the cannabis extract became ‘less gay’; 48% had been cured completely of their homosexuality.
Lead researcher, P Nichols, stated, “I was completely shocked by these results. We didn’t think that this experiment would yield any conclusive data, however, it did. I always thought that sexual orientation was genetic expression, not a cannabinoid deficiency.”
A cured participant, Bruce Randy, was also surprised by the results. “I felt normal the first few day, but after about day 6 things started changing. I started hating ice skating and thinking about football. By day 14, I’d thrown out my Barbara Streisand albums. I basically threw out my entire wardrobe, except for my leather chaps. They will come in handy on my African lion hunting safari this summer.” Randy said in a post experiment interview.
Nichols said that pastors and legislators throughout the South have been contacting him to purchase the cannabis extract since the results were published. “I tell them that I can’t sell them the cannabis because their states don’t qualify homosexuality as a medical condition. Many of their states include epilepsy, but few other conditions. As a scientist, it baffles me that these states have made medical cannabis laws with little to no input from the medical community.”
Nichols continues, “I’ve had governors from 6 states in the South contact me about doing clinical studies in their states. They have been exceedingly welcoming offering state monies to fund the studies.” One southern governor who spoke on the condition of anonymity told Nichols, “I never really liked science because it usually makes me feel stupid, but this, this is the kind of science I can sink my teeth into. I just may have my people start putting cannabis in the water if you know what I mean?”
