Reblogs have been closed on this post, but I have WORDS to say so I will say them here:
This has been a major discussion topic in feminist literature, but I feel like most women, of a myriad of ages, have never really properly engage in our feminist history.
I recently read The Second Shift, which was first published in 1989, based off interviews conducted in the 70s-80s. The marriages described in this book are essentially indistinguishable from today's relationships and marriages. Women, who went into marriages sometimes very explicitly demanding an equal share of the domestic labor, would end up in extremely stressful situations where their husbands failed to do so. Some husbands did so knowingly.
The author describes a set of tactics/beliefs called 'gender ideology', and it is the mismatch of gender ideologies in a marriage that results in friction. And this friction may even occur within a single person, who outwardly expresses one gender ideology, but privately/subconsciously feels another.
Being married to a man who espouses an egalitarian gender ideology, but in practice, uses a traditional gender ideology, would be an obvious example of what could cause a friction point in a marriage/relationship.
Another potential mismatch is in the couple's differing ideas of gifts and gratitude, which can be based upon their gender ideology. If a man's traditional gender ideology says that he, as the man, should earn more, but it is, in fact, his wife who earns more, it becomes his "gift" to her that he "puts up with it." To an egalitarian or more transitional wife, this "gift" would not seem like much of a gift at all, and she would obviously feel zero gratitude towards it--which the husband would then resent this rejection of his "gift."
Now, I would personally love if women just never bothered with men (which they are increasingly doing anyway) or divorced/dumped their useless man (which they are also increasingly doing), but I understand this is an often impractical bit of advice to say to women who often want to find a tangible solution to their woes. The Second Shift gives maybe the clearest path forward to solving these issues inside a relationship. So, my fellow woman, give this book to your man. And if he doesn't read it. Well...