#the foster

The house had settled down. After the emotional whirlwind of my return, everyone had finally let me breathe, though their worried glances hadn’t stopped. I didn’t blame them. I hadn’t exactly given them a reason to trust I was okay. I was sitting on the floor of Callie and Mariana’s room, my back against her bed, staring at my hands. She was lying on her stomach on the bed above me, propped up on her elbows, watching me. Neither of us had said anything for a while, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. It was just… there. 

“I meant what I said.” Callie finally broke the quiet, her voice softer than usual. 

“You don’t have to be sorry.” 

I let out a slow breath, running a hand through my hair. “I do, though. I put you all through hell. I don’t even know how to-” 

“You don’t have to fix it.” 

I turned my head to look at her, confused. “What?” 

She sat up, crossing her legs. “You don’t have to fix anything. You’re not broken, Y/N.” 

I swallowed hard, looking away. “It doesn’t feel that way.” 

She nodded like she understood exactly what I meant, and maybe she did. She’d been through her own storms and had her own demons that tried to convince her she didn’t belong. 

“You scared me.” She admitted. “I kept thinking… what if we never found you? What if you didn’t come back?” 

I closed my eyes. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” 

She hesitated before whispering. “Were you trying to…? 

I sighed. “I just… I needed to get away. My head felt like it was caving in and I didn’t know how to stop it.” 

Callie was quiet for a moment before she shifted closer, sitting beside me on the floor. 

“I get it.” She murmured. “I’ve been there.” 

I glanced at her, searching her face. “How do you make it stop?” 

She exhaled, tucking her knees to her chest. “You don’t. Not all at once, anyway. But you learn how to deal with it. You stop trying to do it alone.” 

I nodded slowly, absorbing her words. 

A long pause settled between us before I finally spoke again. 

“I think I need help.” The admission felt heavy, but also… right. 

Callie didn’t look surprised. If anything, she looked relieved. 

“You should talk to Moms.” She said gently. “They’ll help you find someone.” 

My throat felt tight, but I nodded. “Yeah. I think I will.” 

She nudged my shoulder. “Proud of you, you know.” 

I let out a weak chuckle. “I haven’t done anything yet.” 

“Doesn’t matter.” She bumped me again. “You’re trying. That’s enough.” 

The next morning, I stood in the kitchen doorway, watching as Lena poured herself a cup of coffee while Stef flipped through the morning paper. They hadn’t noticed me yet, and for a second, I almost turned around. But then Lena looked up and smiled softly. 

“Morning, sweetheart.” 

Stef glanced over her newspaper and quirked a brow. “What’s up, kid?” 

I shifted on my feet, suddenly feeling like a little kid again. 

“Uh… can I talk to you guys?” 

Lena set down her mug immediately. “Oh course.” 

I hesitated, forcing myself to meet their eyes. “I think I need to see a therapist.” 

Their reactions were instant. Lena’s eyes softened even more, and Stef gave a small nod like she had been waiting for me to say it.

“We think that’s a great idea.” Lena said gently. 

Stef reached across the table, squeezing my hand. 

“We’re really proud of you for saying that.” 

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You already know someone, don’t you?” 

Lena chuckled. “We might have looked into a few options… just in case.” 

I let out a breath, nodding. “Okay… Yeah… let’s do it.” 

Stef squeezed my hand again. “We’ll be with you every step of the way, kid.” 

For the first time in a long time, I believed them. I wasn’t alone, and maybe I was going to be okay.