#the deck

I am aware you are not loyal to me, I would not suspect as such. I am not loyal to you either. That is not something our correspondence requires. I am as honest as I can be, perhaps too honest. But who would I be if I didn't live for the danger of the thing. I know you will hurt me, I'm counting on you to try someday. I'm not sure when you'll snap. But I am no idiot to believe that I would leave unscathed. You speak down to me now, David. Why would you spare me later? Though again you stating that I am not worth your time wounds me. Clearly I've wormed my way into your head. I don't see why that shouldn't be worthy of your attention. I couldn't possibly let you just read me, that would be boring. For both of us. There's only ever been one person who could actually read me. And I would prefer to keep it that way.

I feel as though we're both animals, I appreciate you thinking I have some power here though! I mean I do, don't get me wrong. I can see how this effects you. But I'm no idiot. You're the one who's pulling the strings here. If you wanted I'm sure you could... well not kill me... but harm me! That's a good bar for you I think. I was bored... and irritated. And you seemed like a good solution to both. You are my project. I don't wish to just know about you though. I wish to know you. You're a powerful player in this game! I would be a fool not to want into that clever mind of yours. Clearly I'm not so predictable if you cannot see me.

I'm sure you'd love to try and observe me, but that would be the end of this. I will warn you right this second. I do not enjoy being trapped. I've said this. And as I'm sure you can tell by the contents of this... message. I also do not enjoy being looked down upon. You are interesting, thrilling to talk to. Do not ruin that for yourself by attempting to break into my head. I assure you that you will hate the mess you find.

I have three siblings for your information and no, they do not care about me. They are scared of me. For good reason. And yes you do know my sister. She says you went for coffee... talked of art. I'm sure it was lovely.

I'm not under your thumb. As I said earlier. I do not need your approval I do not need you to like me. I do not need pity or repentance, or anything like that. I haven't told you my job because I do not have a proper title. I've told you what I do and that should be good enough. I am not clingy. I do not need you. I don't need anyone. I don't fucking need anyone. I don't want approval. Don't you get it? Why are you being so dumb. Has your ego inflated so much that you cannot see beyond to the truth? It is miserable. I am a monster, Mycroft. I am bad. I have hurt people and I will continue to. I am evil. I do not feel pain, I cannot be overwhelmed. In all but my mind I am a husk. Don't you see?

I've seen you in person before. But you wouldn't remember. It was a long long time ago. And we didn't speak. I left early. And I'd hardly believe that that would've been interesting enough. You would know my mother. Perhaps my father. They were so good at hiding us. Well... me. Maybe ❤️ too... Though she's much more obedient than I am.

Enjoy your Morning Bliss, Mycroft. I apologize that I have made you late for you tea. I hope that it will not put a wrench in your plans and I am glad the casualty was not a problem. Additionally I am sorry about the... chaotic nature of this message. I can promise I will get myself under control before responding again.