#the conclave

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m appreciative of the opportunity to help mold the future of the Catholic Church, but I’m 95% only doing this to see who’s hot and who’s not. Remember that one archbishop from Brazil? He was just so smug about his ‘fitness journey,’ always commenting on what the rest of us took from the buffet—it would be so satisfying if he showed up all bloated in vestments the size of a circus tent. I know, that’s terrible of me to say, but come on! Gluttony is a sin. By the way, I wonder if his low-budget hair plugs ever took.” At press time, the group of holy men were reportedly heard speculating that Cardinal Luis Antonio Gokim Tagle had had a total glow-up since last time.

We have the step down transformer for our vastedge machine! Here's a quick rough video I'd add more but tumblr seems to only allow one video per post